oh God I can't watch. Is it as bad as I'm guessing?
Jack Monroe #34 Medicine won't lift her gloom. Lady doc says Facetune!
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Yes Harry I’m BUSY! Now could You stop being so entitled/demanding please? Is it okay for me to have a piss, grab a sandwich, do my job for a bit, and come back later?
p.s thank you @elepal for the new thread.
I can't bring myself to click on that poetry video, I just can't. There's not enough coffee in the world to set me up for that on a Sunday morning.
Morning, Fraus!
Morning, Fraus!
Morning all. Another day of entertaining a whirlwind 3 year old and trying not to immerse myself on here 
I think instead of making bets on what she will cook, we can start betting on her next ailment. Mine is some kind of skin condition like psoriasis or something more extreme like Lyme disease
She reminds me of Robert Smith from the cure, I saw about 10 seconds something about kate moss in a taxi, wtf.. too cringe to watch more. Anyone want to be a martyr and summarise?
I watched the poetry video. To those of you who haven't? RIGHT DECISION.
It's something a basic "stick it to the man" teenager, wearing an Unknown Pleasures t-shirt (but they don't know why), would hand into a 6th form teacher; the teacher scans it, meets the child's eye and deploys a withering, Glenn Close, "groundbreaking".
C-.
In that last foto she reminds me of Taylor from real housewives of Beverly Hills when she was with that awful husband and basically having a breakdown
Not wanting to tread on the toes of our esteemed house detectives here, but I’ve don’t some deep research on the pouty photo myself.. after she posted the photo of her as a man using that faceapp the other day/week I downloaded it and had a go to see what I looked like as a bloke (spoiler - shite).
But, on the app there is a ‘feminine’ filter (urgh) which I had a go on. This basically engorges your lips and gives you the sort of big wet eyes bambi would be jealous of.
I’d bet my (non pedigree) cat that she’s used this for the consumptive portrait as I don’t believe her facetune skills extend much beyond the blur tool.
But, on the app there is a ‘feminine’ filter (urgh) which I had a go on. This basically engorges your lips and gives you the sort of big wet eyes bambi would be jealous of.
I’d bet my (non pedigree) cat that she’s used this for the consumptive portrait as I don’t believe her facetune skills extend much beyond the blur tool.
Why did I watch that?!
Though I do recommend watching at 5.35min where she presumes people will clap and correctly calls herself a dick
Though I do recommend watching at 5.35min where she presumes people will clap and correctly calls herself a dick
Twitter: Be nice in the morning, use BLOCK CAPITALS by late afternoon, and by midnight, all deleted.
This reply is bleeping exceptional right?Yes Harry I’m BUSY! Now could You stop being so entitled/demanding please? Is it okay for me to have a piss, grab a sandwich, do my job for a bit, and come back later?
p.s thank you @elepal for the new thread.
I'm making a big fat roast this afternoon, and am considering using Jack's best ever Yorkshire pudding recipe as a bleeping laugh. Obviously I'll make some real ones as well, I'm not an animal.
Editing to say.. I won't be making her recipe for a bleeping laugh now. I went on her website to get the "recipe" and it's so full of ads, it is awful to use. Honestly it's the worst bleeping website I've seen in a long time. Disgusted. She can stick her bleeping horrible Yorkshire puddings.
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Scary Mary
It’s funny you say that, because I noticed that her eyes looked bigger straight away. I think you might be onto something!
Your poor family
I've known some attention seekers in my life but none even hold a giant church candle to her. She is definitely unique.
I honestly cannot fathom the point in her telling the world about her busted lip, but In the same breath saying don't pass on any advice. It's completely unnecessary and completely attention seeking. Yes my dear I know your in pain but someone miles away behind a screen telling you "it's ok petal" will not take the pain away. Go and find your real friends ask them to make you some soothing remedies and rest. You're looking for sympathy in all the wrong places. Also if ant of her friends are reading on here. I. Personally think you should be ashamed, your friend is in a bad way, go and help her and stop watching her become an epic car crash.
I honestly cannot fathom the point in her telling the world about her busted lip, but In the same breath saying don't pass on any advice. It's completely unnecessary and completely attention seeking. Yes my dear I know your in pain but someone miles away behind a screen telling you "it's ok petal" will not take the pain away. Go and find your real friends ask them to make you some soothing remedies and rest. You're looking for sympathy in all the wrong places. Also if ant of her friends are reading on here. I. Personally think you should be ashamed, your friend is in a bad way, go and help her and stop watching her become an epic car crash.
Take your pick from these blocks (with your basic ingredients):
English Mustard
Horseradish
Thyme
Rosemary
Thyme/Marjoram
Pitted black olives
Courgette
Peppers in chunks
Soy/Mirin/Sake
Green Peppers
Garam Masala
Lemon
Coriander Leaves
Mango Chutney
Thyme
Spring Onion
Fresh, whole chilli with a slit poked in it
Allspice/Pimento
Turmeric
Cinnamon
Cumin
Paprika
Olives
Dates/Dried Apricots
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In the style of the esteemed lady poet, JM:
First I posted some nice morning tweets
But they didn't garner enough drama
THEN CAME THE LATE AFTERNOON DOGPILES
Ah, satisfying. Attention at last!
...tit. Wrong type of attention.
DELETE DELETE DELETE
~Fin~
In the style of Baldrick
She LEFT
She LEFT
She LEFT
She
left.
She LEFT
She LEFT
She LEFT
She
left.
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