Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[DisgruntledGoat]

huh, re-reading that Scotsman interview, this paragraph stood out to me:
View attachment 1396461

Maybe they were happy to accept her resignation because she kept calling in with a "migraine". Do that often enough in any workplace and they'll get annoyed. Can only imagine it being worse when you've got rosters to juggle.

“A day off with depression” is exactly the sort of thing that’s thrown out there that means mental health isn’t taken seriously and indeed appropriated by shirking dickheads who fancy a morning in bed. duck off, Jack, you don’t know the meaning of the word you cosseted little twit.

 

[Lazarus]

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@Lazarus, the thread had closed before I saw your post. As much as it pains me to agree with her, I don’t mind Jack calling AA attendees a group of drunks. They do it in my area too, and it’s used because the first word of the Serenity Prayer is “God” and God is also part of Step 3. I believe the forefathers (and certainly people since) were worried that religious terminology would turn folk away and put them off, so it can be used as an acronym - e.g Group of Drunks or Gathering of Drunks, Good Orderly Direction. if she’d called them Gaggle of Dickwads then a) I probably wouldn’t be massively surprised and b) I would have been offended for them.

(As always, this is just my view. People in AA might not like being collectively called any of the above and that’s fair dos too)

Thanks for the explanation-o, Lennie. Much appreciated. I'm not an AA frau, so i didn't know that, and if i did, i most likely forgot. Every day is a school day on these threads and i'm always grateful to those who share.
In your fellowship, do you normally laugh until your sides hurt?

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 1396469Her mate Marcus doing GOOD THINGS again. I’m sure she’s somewhere in the background.

Emptying the bins perhaps?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Training to be a firefighter after SB was born sure Jan.gif

Without being able to drive or swim!

 

[Lazarus]

View attachment 1396469Her mate Marcus doing GOOD THINGS again. I’m sure she’s somewhere in the background.

Waiting on Jack saying how many of her books she has given away (because lets face it, no fucker buys them).

Bravo, Marcus Rashford - he is an amazing human being.

 

[Wooh]

Thanks for the explanation-o, Lennie. Much appreciated. I'm not an AA frau, so i didn't know that, and if i did, i most likely forgot. Every day is a school day on these threads and i'm always grateful to those who share.
In your fellowship, do you normally laugh until your sides hurt?

Oh, stop it! You made me start, then snort!

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Has the childish, lazy, unreliable, inconsiderate, aggressive, arrogant, moody mare woken up yet?

I think she's on a one woman shoplifting spree, freeing all the butter from captivity.
Hoy, Butter Bandit, look what you can do with the old tubs!

Cress

Coke

I can confirm that they are absoluetly terrific for storing any spare chapeau cash you have lying around.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Has the childish, lazy, unreliable, inconsiderate, aggressive, arrogant, moody mare woken up yet?

I think she's on a one woman shoplifting spree, freeing all the butter from captivity.
Hoy, Butter Bandit, look what you can do with the old tubs!

Cress
View attachment 1396480
Coke
View attachment 1396482

I can confirm that they are absoluetly terrific for storing any spare chapeau cash you have lying around.

Cack's new tampon holder?!

 

[EllaEm87]

What good would one of her books do for a child with delayed literacy? The waffle, the grandiose flowery language. Steaming piles of literary tit.

 

[moldwarp]

You most definitely did not imagine it.

I don't know that she ever publically walked back the testosterone/binder/double-mastectomy-plans, but in this fairly nauseating interview she asks the interviewer to use the pronoun "she".

Jack Monroe, Bootstrap Cook interview - spilling the beans on tins, Twitter and talking about gender

The campaigning cook is on a mission to help everyone on a budget find the fun in feeding themselves

www.scotsman.com

Oh gawwwd that's the interview where she decided to play sex strumpet and turned up for the photoshoot in a corset, claiming she'd spilled lunch on her jumper. Then took to Twitter to claim she whipped off her jumper AT lunch and sat in the restaurant in her underwear because she's such a lil wild and free firework.

I was wrong before. Sex Jack is marginally worse than Anarchist Jack.

Anyway she'll be happy with the numbers on her 'shoplfters of the world unite' tweet. 53k likes. That'll be enough for Jack. She's not interested in helping the poor....but she is very interested in going viral on Twitter.

 

[NeoCortex]

All this talk reminds me of how much I bleeping love Lurpak, but bugger me am I gonna pay 5 quid a tub. I'll take the 50p best one alternative thanks

 

[Geetbo]

Oh gawwwd that's the interview where she decided to play sex strumpet and turned up for the photoshoot in a corset, claiming she'd spilled lunch on her jumper. Then took to Twitter to claim she whipped off her jumper AT lunch and sat in the restaurant in her underwear because she's such a lil wild and free firework.

I was wrong before. Sex Jack is marginally worse than Anarchist Jack.

Anyway she'll be happy with the numbers on her 'shoplfters of the world unite' tweet. 53k likes. That'll be enough for Jack. She's not interested in helping the poor....but she is very interested in going viral on Twitter.

Imo Sex Jack is by far the worst of all the Jacks. Mainly because she has all the sex appeal of an elderly potato.

 

[theleagueofgentlemen]

I don’t believe she ever took testosterone. (Shocker I know). There were never any physical signs that she was on it, such as facial hair growth, thinning head hair (despite the supposed bald patches) or voice changes. I remember one of her cookery books, the one with the tool belt, her face looks a lot more masculine. But that’s clearly photoshopped to all hell and she’s not even recognisable.

I ended up googling to see if she ever addressed it, and came across an article where she claimed she did take it, and had started growing facial hair!
She's absolutely deluded to think she can make such bold claims in the press and then attempt to sweep it under the carpet as if it never happened

 

[Lazarus]

Oh gawwwd that's the interview where she decided to play sex strumpet and turned up for the photoshoot in a corset, claiming she'd spilled lunch on her jumper. Then took to Twitter to claim she whipped off her jumper AT lunch and sat in the restaurant in her underwear because she's such a lil wild and free firework.

I was wrong before. Sex Jack is marginally worse than Anarchist Jack.

Anyway she'll be happy with the numbers on her 'shoplfters of the world unite' tweet. 53k likes. That'll be enough for Jack. She's not interested in helping the poor....but she is very interested in going viral on Twitter.

She absolutely loves using those tattoo's as a point for discussion, doesn't she?


There’s also a wedding to plan, some time next year, which gave Monroe pause to reconsider her tattoos.
“I had a very fleeting aww, I’m not going to look like brides on the front of magazines,” she says. “But then I thought I’m going to look bloody awesome, I’m going to be punk as hell!

She's about as punk as Sandi Thom when she was singing she wished she was a punk rocker with flowers in her hair.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Allotment Jack is almost certainly one we will get eventually, and it’ll go like this.

1) Breadcrumbs about some exciting news, the squigs all think that finally their deity has been given the twenty four part prime time BBC1 show she’s so cruelly been overlooked for. Jack reveals the news, she’s getting an allotment, squigs feign excitement.

2) Allotment Jack goes into overdrive with ring binders, glitter pens and post it notes making planting schedules and growing charts, she shares all these with Twitter. This is her thing now, she’s gardener Jack, she’s going to be the best ever, better than Charlie Dimmock, Allan Tichmarsh and Monty Don rolled into one.

3) She buys shiny new toys, tools, seeds and whatever else gardeners use. Shows these off on Twitter, a few non Jack fan accounts mutter about how she’s supposedly broke but spending £££s on new stuff. Squigs shout about can’t Jack have nice things and squeal over spades and hoes.

4) She writes a toe curling piece on having an allotment. “I arrived at my little patch of earth just as the sun slid surreptitiously over the horizon like an inexplicable egg floating on a nourishing bowl of curried pigs trotter and mussel soup (recipe to follow). The scent of the sensual sepia soil soothes my scarred and scared soul. Old Bert is already here, his aubergine and plums ripe and purple are laid out on his trug for all to admire. He beckons me over with one strong yet wrinkled yet aged yet gnarled hand. As I approach he looks me up and down, then speaks, his voice is the voice of the people ‘Aye lass, you’ll make a fine wee gardener that’s for sure, I can see you’ve got soil under your nails and could bench press the queen.’ As he says this he wipes a tear from his eye, and I know I’m home, this is where I belong.”

5) Three days later Jack forgets all about the allotment and we never hear of it again. Gardener Jack is replaced by, in turn, geologist Jack, bee keeper Jack and modern sculpture enthusiast Jack. All of which last approximately one week.

 

[jenny2603]

This is such a good point. Here, shoplifters are more likely to target small convenience stores - which are usually owned by immigrants whose grasp of the language may be shaky, and who are not as savvy about legal matters as, say, a huge supermarket chain.

But duck those guys, they're just evil capitalist fat cat CEOs in training, right?

Yes, one near where I lived went through a stage of being targeted relentlessly. If only we'd had Jack to explain to the stupid complaining immigrants that the people robbing, threatening and racially abusing them were starving and should not be judged.

 

[Boyo]

You most definitely did not imagine it.

I don't know that she ever publically walked back the testosterone/binder/double-mastectomy-plans, but in this fairly nauseating interview she asks the interviewer to use the pronoun "she".

Jack Monroe, Bootstrap Cook interview - spilling the beans on tins, Twitter and talking about gender

The campaigning cook is on a mission to help everyone on a budget find the fun in feeding themselves

www.scotsman.com

I read this…

and all I could think was…

 

[Geetbo]

She absolutely loves using those tattoo's as a point for discussion, doesn't she?


There’s also a wedding to plan, some time next year, which gave Monroe pause to reconsider her tattoos.
“I had a very fleeting aww, I’m not going to look like brides on the front of magazines,” she says. “But then I thought I’m going to look bloody awesome, I’m going to be punk as hell!

She's about as punk as Sandi Thom when she was singing she wished she was a punk rocker with flowers in her hair.

I read that as Sandi Toksvig which amused me greatly.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Getir getting into Jack's niche and providing a non-shoplifting solution to the butter crisis.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Dear lord that article is nonsense but this jumped out at me...

Also it's amazing that it could've been written last week or 4 years ago. Nothing changes in jack land.