Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Order Thread by Most Liked Posts
Smeghead

Smeghead

kachoochoo said:
I am coming from a 24 hour behind grunk, so about a year in jack time.

someone said "nightmeat sounds like heartbeat" so:

🎵nightmeat
why do you miss when my pumble kisses me?

nightmeat
why does a yellow sticker stay in my inventory?🎵

and the pumble dall e that captain mouse asked for

View attachment 1397680

be back in real time soon! I've seen her twitter! nothing looks good!
Click to expand...
I’ve had Nightmeat to the tune of Nightswimming by REM in my head for days…

Nightmeat, deserves a quiet night
The pork mince in the chiller, dated days ago
Turned around backwards so the yellow sticker shows
Every neon light reveals the price in reverse
Still, it's so much clearer
Is it 66p or 99p, it’s folded at the edge
I don’t even like cooking
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 64
Ostapbender

Ostapbender

ChickenPorridge said:
I swear she lifted that no.10 pic straight from here on her grunk, can tell it's a screenshot she didn't quite crop out the share/edit etc options at the bottom. 🗣 Get your own material! 🗣
Click to expand...
Forensic work Chicky P!
Need you to pay me for providing this #content Jack, I can't just shoplift butter and steal from Patreon subscribers like you do x
ETA this is a joke, I'm doing fine toot toot

Jack Monroe #335 Boob, I guess

She saves reduced meat in the night yet claims to be vegan. I can't even keep up with her BS Oh she quit being vegan a while back because the doctor ordered her to eat fish for her arthritis. We're not exactly sure when or where the eyelid sausages and nightmeat were prescribed. It's a bit...
tattle.life
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 29
Smeghead

Smeghead

ChickenPorridge said:
I swear she lifted that no.10 pic straight from here on her grunk, can tell it's a screenshot she didn't quite crop out the share/edit etc options at the bottom. 🗣 Get your own material! 🗣
Click to expand...
Fantastic. Too lazy to even find her own photo. She loves it here so much 🤣🥰
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 49
P

Pimpinella

I have just been having a rummage in the online library catalogue for the entire large council area.. They have 20 copies of various "works" by somebody marked as a "journalist". Eight are currently on loan. I have briefly looked at other cooks and their copy to loan ratio is greater...hardly hot cakes...
 
  • Like
Reactions: 25
S

Sketchy

Btw, that post about buying up all the meat in the supermarket before it's 'dumped'. My niece works in a (big) supermarket and tells me that hoards of regular shoppers surround the 'reduced shelf' nightly, an hour or so before the reductions take place and snap it up as it's put out. They come in especially for the reduced items, she says, and there's nothing left but a few spongey cucumbers after 9 o'clock on any of the reduced shelves. There's nothing anyone would want after the regulars have snapped it all up, she tells me, not even the staff have a hope in hell of getting a bargain. She told me that sometimes the customers physically fight over a reduced chicken.

Buying all the meat before it's 'dumped' my arse. More made up shite.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Heart
Reactions: 58
FlirtyThirty

FlirtyThirty

FrumpyCat said:
Tbh in those photos it is hard to tell what Jack actually looks like. Although both her nose and lips seem to have grown since she took them
Click to expand...
Maybe she needs the lip filler to balance out the growing nose from all the lies she tells.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 32
kachoochoo

kachoochoo

still a million days behind, but I thought of another heartbeat x nightmeat song

🎵you are only a nightmeat away, baby (baby)
your pumble, one day will find you
it will remind you
when nightmeat comes your way
oh, when nightmeat comes your way🎵
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 33
Smeghead

Smeghead

jenny2603 said:
Maybe we could get her to choose the winner in a new 'Jacks Choice' category at the Sloppies.
Click to expand...
I kind of think we could invite her back one day for half an hour. I’d like to know if she’s really ever gone for some Nightmeat.
Wonder what she’d pick as her favourite moment of the year if given the choice?
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 35
jenny2603

jenny2603

Smeghead said:
I kind of think we could invite her back one day for half an hour. I’d like to know if she’s really ever gone for some Nightmeat.
Wonder what she’d pick as her favourite moment of the year if given the choice?
Click to expand...
Needless to say it will be one where Jack has the last laugh.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 34
Ostapbender

Ostapbender

Smeghead said:
I kind of think we could invite her back one day for half an hour. I’d like to know if she’s really ever gone for some Nightmeat.
Wonder what she’d pick as her favourite moment of the year if given the choice?
Click to expand...
Noooo you'll summon her
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 35
ContentCrunch

ContentCrunch

Thank(space)you for the kind nail compliments dear hearts, a lovely Vietnamese bloke does them for me and he’s got fluffy white cattos in his salon too they sit in the window enticing fraus 😽 💅🏻
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 45
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.