Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[Cucumberthunder]

Jack's Facebook. Co-operative, is it?
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Also, that's not my Jack. Her hair's too plastic.View attachment 1397494View attachment 1397495View attachment 1397496View attachment 1397497

What era was this?!

 

[EllaEm87]

What era was this?!

To give her her dues, she does look very pretty in these.

Doesn’t excuse the ugly personality though, pal x

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Just to go back to the stealing from shops, I have a friend that works for a major supermarket, she is smaller than Jack and older than Jack but she has been known to chase shoplifters and catch them! she works in a store in one of the must deprived bits of England and they don't steal to eat, they steal you sell, and will even steal to order. She has no time for them whatsoever, I'd love to here her views on this nonsense.

She will happily ban people from the store, which as it's the only one nearby would be like banning Jack from asda, and that's a greater deterrent than the police.

The more people steal, the higher the shrinkage rate, the more prices will go up. But they won't bother patreon funded Jack

BiB - I read that as “Just got back from stealing from shops” and I thought to myself you see what you’ve done Jack, you’ve opened the floodgates!

 

[hellosailor⚓]

Plus, more fevered political dervish featuring her two faves Cameron and Hopkins, dressing as a princess coz SB really wanted her to, and surely not someone stealing her Aldi vouchers?! She also

rejoined Southend running club in 2020 and I can't be arsed to look at anymore coz I am actually BUSY!

 

[Smeghead]

Jack's Facebook. Co-operative, is it?
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Also, that's not my Jack. Her hair's too plastic.View attachment 1397494View attachment 1397495View attachment 1397496View attachment 1397497

I wonder how many photos she’s taken of herself over the years. Got to be in the hundreds of thousands. How many times has she got out the lighting, the camera stand, set up the camera, got changed, done her make up, put a wig or hat on, silly pose, taken pictures, then retaken them. Then Facetuned them and the sky? Oh what a lonely life.

 

[Ostapbender]

Yes, absolutely! X

it’s in book 12.

Two teaspoons of turmeric (4p),
half a can of aquafaba (11p)
drizzle of cold oil (0.8p)
rind of a sad, bottom of the fridge lemon (free as I had it in already),
one egg (smart price caged, sad hen 7p)
put it all in a blender (£150 though cheaper options available and I found mine by the roadside),
then into a slow cooker overnight (£80 RRP but I got mine in a charity shop for a quid).
serves 4 hungry mouths with enough left over for the community kitchen mid week. It’s Geoffs favourite.

Thanks, I tried to make this. I changed it a bit by leaving out the turmeric and not blending or slow cooking it as I don't have a blender or slow cooker. I had to mash the eggs with a fork instead and they turned out ok. Otherwise, great recipe

 

[FrumpyCat]

To give her her dues, she does look very pretty in these.

Doesn’t excuse the ugly personality though, pal x

Tbh in those photos it is hard to tell what Jack actually looks like. Although both her nose and lips seem to have grown since she took them

 

[hellosailor⚓]

What era was this?!

Pics are from 2019 I think, the post was just after she got engaged and she was asking if she should grow her hair for the wedding. The co-parent thing was 2020 I think.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

There was a reappearance of Sad Jack. Sad Jack cancelled the pretend dates that Sexy Jack made because Politics Jack wanted to do some shouting.

Sad Jack sad Jack, sad Jack was back
She got rid of the Tinder app and dyed her wardrobe black

NO!

 

[NellieBoo]

Plus, more fevered political dervish featuring her two faves Cameron and Hopkins, dressing as a princess coz SB really wanted her to, and surely not someone stealing her Aldi vouchers?! She alsoView attachment 1397551View attachment 1397552View attachment 1397553 rejoined Southend running club in 2020 and I can't be arsed to look at anymore coz I am actually BUSY!

I've said before, if she was a few years younger, she'd be full on into the Insta/reality tv lifestyle. She just wants fame and always has done.

 

[hellosailor⚓]

Tbh in those photos it is hard to tell what Jack actually looks like. Although both her nose and lips seem to have grown since she took them

Why does her nose grow? Is she shrinking the rest of her face in the edit it is she actually pinocchio?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

was it 5 or 6 dab radios she owns?

6!!!

Screenshoots from dear @Silver Linings

 

[Nottonightbabe]

At 5.30 Jack was all “cor teenage angst, I’ve sent him out in the garden with content”, by 7 she’s cooked an impromptu bbq for SB, “a friend”, the animals, eaten it and is back on twitter to let us know.

So there was no chicken breast in the Jack Monroe by Jack Monroe 4th July shopping list, or the “she shoots she scores” by Jack Monroe 24 June shopping list, but she did have chicken breast in the freezer in her 22 July 2022 (future Jack) stock take (just by the trotters). How does one have an impromptu bbq with frozen chicken? She only told us she’d taken the oxtail and muscles out of the freezer on Monday right?

DHOTYA
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Maybe she stocked up on the old Nightmeat last night..?

 

[Falkor]

She's trying to get out of walking Content already. Nice try Jack, but you'll also need to find someone for the six days out of the week SB isn't there x

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Throw the ball 30 times? Jack, you are going to cause that poor dog a whole heap of trouble with her joints when she's older.

 

[Elastoblast]

I agree! We fostered 3 puppies a couple of years ago. They didn't create anywhere near as much laundry between them as my son did as a toddler or has done since!

Unless she tucks the puppy into a bed at night I'm failing to see what massive amounts of laundry are being generated

 

[Shamefullymiddleclass]

Poor Jack, having to be in the same huge bungalow as someone having Zoom calls.

It's not like you could.....go upstairs or into a different room in your house and pretend to work is it?

How does her bungalow have steps in the middle to sit SB on, isn't the point of bungalows that they have no steps?

I'm confused.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

6!!!

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Screenshoots from dear @Silver Linings

“Oh what larks! I could have retuned but instead I got up and got the radio already set at Classic FM!

Now let me tell you again how poor I am”

 

[ContentCrunch]

Ring binders are the only binders Jack is interested in these days but you are not imagining it. edit changed to a better(?) link

Jack Monroe On Coming Out As A Non-Binary Transgender To Their 6-Year-Old Son

'He’s been watching me gradually change his whole life.'

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

MY TAX RETURN????

 

[Elastoblast]

How does her bungalow have steps in the middle to sit SB on, isn't the point of bungalows that they have no steps?

I'm confused.

It's a perpetual, neverending mystery. Much like Jack

 

[Dogmuck]

Maybe she stocked up on the old Nightmeat last night..?

Nightmeat is not impromptu dear heart, NEVER! One thinks about the timing, considers ones poorly pooch, checks stock, checks ugly watch, scampers, with trotter infused backpack, to Tesco Express at precisely 10.32pm and literally honks around the reduced meat cabinet to ensure you get your grubby mits on the prize. You then go home and store it in one of your 3 freezers. One doesn’t simply “impromptu” nightmeat ffs!