Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[GrannyOgg]

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This is a lie, SB definitely doesn’t spend much time with her brother. In a very obvious attempt to keep the lines of communication open, her mother follows Dad on FB and had absolutely no idea he was staying in a hotel the night before the footie.
Doing an overnighter in a hotel with your Dad the night before a big match would be a huge thing in a boys life and something, he’d have been talking about repeatedly.
I felt quite sorry for Jacks Mum tbh.
As for 12 yr olds on naughty steps, if I was the co-parent and read that ( and I’d be following her Twitter forensically when she had my kid) I’d be round there like a bat out of hell.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I completely agree. She sent him off to school with a big floppy sunhat during the recent heatwave. I mean, come on. Really?!

It's like her points of reference are stuck a good few years ago. Perhaps when he was younger she was more involved as a parent. In recent years, not so much.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

"Bung" and "ping" .... eeugh!

And ... we've seen where the barbecue is. If I had a little pupper bouncing around, I wouldn't want her anywhere near it.

You'd think that, as a food writer, she'd take a snap of whatever she'd cooked.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Imagine only seeing your Mum one day a week and the first thing she does is punish you...

(Allegedly to all of the above)

 

[Dogmuck]

At 5.30 Jack was all “cor teenage angst, I’ve sent him out in the garden with content”, by 7 she’s cooked an impromptu bbq for SB, “a friend”, the animals, eaten it and is back on twitter to let us know.

So there was no chicken breast in the Jack Monroe by Jack Monroe 4th July shopping list, or the “she shoots she scores” by Jack Monroe 24 June shopping list, but she did have chicken breast in the freezer in her 22 July 2022 (future Jack) stock take (just by the trotters). How does one have an impromptu bbq with frozen chicken? She only told us she’d taken the oxtail and muscles out of the freezer on Monday right?

DHOTYA

 

[Boogs]

Most of us here have genuine lived experience of the things she spouts tit about which is why we question her authenticity with virtually everything she says.

I cannot believe that a political commentator is just talking about how (not) to parent their child with all that is currently going on. Ah let me guess, that was then and this is now and she’s cos playing another identity now

Why can’t she cos play being a mature, responsible, adult for a while?

 

[Captainmouse]

Discreet?! It's a big shiny pineapple!

When has mackie ever been discreet?

 

[Boogs]

At 5.30 Jack was all “cor teenage angst, I’ve sent him out in the garden with content”, by 7 she’s cooked an impromptu bbq for SB, “a friend”, the animals, eaten it and is back on twitter to let us know.

So there was no chicken breast in the Jack Monroe by Jack Monroe 4th July shopping list, or the “she shoots she scores” by Jack Monroe 24 June shopping list, but she did have chicken breast in the freezer in her 22 July 2022 (future Jack) stock take (just by the trotters). How does one have an impromptu bbq with frozen chicken? She only told us she’d taken the oxtail and muscles out of the freezer on Monday right?

DHOTYA
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Forensic

 

[Lazarus]

Chicken can really upset some dogs. Fartville

If my puppy was shitting through the eye of a needle the last thing is feed it a chicken breast. duck sake. What’s wrong with her?

also, at what time will she have harvested enough opinions from other peoples tweets and turn it into a lukewarm, flaccid essay?

 

[Pavlova]

The only thing we can comfort ourselves with is the fact she only has him one night a week.

That poor boy

I think the puppy is SBs - rather than what fack has told us. And after seeing last weeks video, where she ordered him to tidy up a bit of plastic, I hope he is standing up to her. No is not a word Jacksie thinks applies to her....bit like a nail brush and declaring your taxes. But it does. Go SB.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Nothing she talks about ever rings true. All has an air of emptiness about it, like she's talking pure shite. Interesting post by @L3moning (I think!) upthread about the oversharing trait, but what about when the oversharing is all nonsense and isn't even stuff that has actually happened? Bizarre

 

[NellieBoo]

It's like her points of reference are stuck a good few years ago. Perhaps when he was younger she was more involved as a parent. In recent years, not so much.

I think you are right. It's like she's stuck 5 or so years ago. And I'm not a perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination! Far from it. Most of us are winging it to some extent. But it feels 'off' with her.

"Bung" and "ping" .... eeugh!

And ... we've seen where the barbecue is. If I had a little pupper bouncing around, I wouldn't want her anywhere near it.

You'd think that, as a food writer, she'd take a snap of whatever she'd cooked.

I was pondering over that. She never takes photos of the food she's cooked and posts them on her WORK SM accounts, like normal food writers do. Very odd.

 

[Captainmouse]

How did she have a “silent peaceful home“ when she’s previously said she likes to have a radio on in each room?!

was it 5 or 6 dab radios she owns?

 

[hollywood]

Just to go back to the stealing from shops, I have a friend that works for a major supermarket, she is smaller than Jack and older than Jack but she has been known to chase shoplifters and catch them! she works in a store in one of the must deprived bits of England and they don't steal to eat, they steal you sell, and will even steal to order. She has no time for them whatsoever, I'd love to here her views on this nonsense.

She will happily ban people from the store, which as it's the only one nearby would be like banning Jack from asda, and that's a greater deterrent than the police.

The more people steal, the higher the shrinkage rate, the more prices will go up. But they won't bother patreon funded Jack

I think she’s really brave. We used to chase shoplifters back in the day. If you got a reputation for being easy to steal from you were targeted relentlessly and we had harsh shrinkage targets. When I look back now I shake my head that this was kind of the norm! Also we used to cultivate strong relationships with the local police who would swing by for a coffee pretty regularly . Being known as a shop with regular police visits was a good deterrent as well. Although now I doubt that would ever happen , I don’t think there are enough police around anymore to be able to do this. I definitely wouldn’t chase anyone stealing any more . I can’t believe I ever did .

 

[Emmapism]

Poor Jack, having to be in the same huge bungalow as someone having Zoom calls.

It's not like you could.....go upstairs or into a different room in your house and pretend to work is it?

The fella and I were locked down in London (he RENTS!) in a one bed flat without a garden. So we had to listen to each others Zooms most of the time and if he had a call at the same time as me I had to go into the bedroom because his computer is hardwired. We managed.

No fancy noise cancelling headphones whilst I changed my Twitter bio for the billionth time

 

[Django]

If my puppy was shitting through the eye of a needle the last thing is feed it a chicken breast. duck sake. What’s wrong with her?

also, at what time will she have harvested enough opinions from other peoples tweets and turn it into a lukewarm, flaccid essay?

I don't know why this thing about chicken and puppies keeps being repeated. The easiest food for puppies to digest is soft meat, possibly some raw egg and boiled rice.

 

[Cack Conroe]

This is a lie, SB definitely doesn’t spend much time with her brother. In a very obvious attempt to keep the lines of communication open, her mother follows Dad on FB and had absolutely no idea he was staying in a hotel the night before the footie.
Doing an overnighter in a hotel with your Dad the night before a big match would be a huge thing in a boys life and something, he’d have been talking about repeatedly.
I felt quite sorry for Jacks Mum tbh.
As for 12 yr olds on naughty steps, if I was the co-parent and read that ( and I’d be following her Twitter forensically when she had my kid) I’d be round there like a bat out of hell.

I was going to say this about Facebook. Not a chance does he spend a lot of time with the 15 y/o uncle.

And when he does go round his mum’s, he also has to deal with dog tit, and makes him do chores.

I bet the reason she’s been dealing with “poonamis” is because she’s still sleeping in until late morning and just letting the puppy tit everywhere.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Croak! I think bed soup might be my granola. Croak!
I’ve had my 5th boiler engineer visit (since 20th June) for a 5th replacement part today so could do with something warm, velvety and unctuous. Considering how to harness the power of farts.

Mamapapa, I love my punishment puppy.
Creep! (Her not him.)

 

[Mrs Peel]

I don't know why this thing about chicken and puppies keeps being repeated. The easiest food for puppies to digest is soft meat, possibly some raw egg and boiled rice.

And a small amount of plain cottage cheese. That's why I was horrified when I saw Quark on her shopping list - I thought maybe she had the idea it was a 'quirky' alternative to cottage cheese to feed the poor puppy.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

It’s very odd. I watched some of the happy mum happy baby podcast and she talks about SB in a very unemotional way. She talks about how easy parenting is and it doesn’t sound like there is any love there.

How easy it is? Lmao whatttt? I suppose when you treat getting up with your 6 year old an option you’ll hard pass on then yeah the sort of parenting you’re providing will be easy hun!