Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[Sketchy]

Btw, that post about buying up all the meat in the supermarket before it's 'dumped'. My niece works in a (big) supermarket and tells me that hoards of regular shoppers surround the 'reduced shelf' nightly, an hour or so before the reductions take place and snap it up as it's put out. They come in especially for the reduced items, she says, and there's nothing left but a few spongey cucumbers after 9 o'clock on any of the reduced shelves. There's nothing anyone would want after the regulars have snapped it all up, she tells me, not even the staff have a hope in hell of getting a bargain. She told me that sometimes the customers physically fight over a reduced chicken.

Buying all the meat before it's 'dumped' my arse. More made up shite.

 

[ohcomeon99]

Took a break from this thread as it was genuinely starting to make me unwell but here we go again. More questions, less answers as always.

So Jack is a year sober. Genuine congratulations for that. However, she was in a romance with someone in AA was she? That will have been frowned upon massively especially if said person had more sober time. It would be classed as 13 stepping which is going for a vulnerable newcomer however as this is Jack, it’s debatable isn’t it. I find it bizarre she was looking to get a mortgage with said person after such a short space of time but again, it is Jack and once again, she is the only one shocked when it all goes wrong.

As someone meant to be working a programme of recovery, it’s surprising that she is throwing around the “they can’t help it, it’s trauma” rhetoric to excuse peoples behaviour as recovery teaches you all that is just an excuse and other people have trauma and don’t behave like a bellend. She picks and chooses the AA programme, much like everything in her life, to suit her mood/bellendary.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Puppy already requiring additional veterinary care other than the necessary jabs? Send cashos

And using the puppy as punishment is just Jack's way of outsourcing the stuff she's too lazy to do. She did the same with the "I'm bored" chart where SB would have to do a mundane chore and tick it off.

 

[jenny2603]

Oh yikes

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That's why she's always accusing us and others of wanting her DEAD. She's projecting her own dark thoughts and fantasies about people she dislikes.

 

[usefullyuseless]

I find subway so stressful there's just too many choices and I get so anxious ordering.

Babe, same x

Me-rail below
When I'm in places like Subway I practice saying my order over and over in my head as I find situations like that very stressful. I also pray the staff don't ask me any unexpected questions that will throw me off.

 

[kachoochoo]

I am coming from a 24 hour behind grunk, so about a year in jack time.

someone said "nightmeat sounds like heartbeat" so:

nightmeat
why do you miss when my pumble kisses me?

nightmeat
why does a yellow sticker stay in my inventory?

and the pumble dall e that captain mouse asked for

be back in real time soon! I've seen her twitter! nothing looks good!

 

[colouredlines]

Oh my, there’s a tweet gone viral that has a fantasy cabinet, something the squigs love including Jack in as a rule, but she’s been dropped, it’s over, they’ve already forgotten about our Jacky, though her pal Martin Lewis continues on without her. I blame the absence of the Voluptuous Bootylicious Index…..send Nightmeat.

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On a side note, why do these dweebs always pick Hugh Grant for Prime Minister? Just because he was in a movie? Do they know nothing else about him? I mean, surely no one is looking at Boris and saying, "The problem with this guy is...not enough sex scandals!"

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I forgot to quote but I’m still laughing at the frau who misheard rambling for gambling.
I keep imagining you saying ‘you need to be careful, I’ve heard of people lose their houses and jobs when it becomes a real addiction’
And the other person just like ‘??? They’re going for a walk’

“My name is Lenny and I’m a rambler”

#ramblersanonymous

 

[Satisfying Click]

 

[busylass]

I'm honestly thinking of rioting if I see another holier than thou twat assuming that all theft is to alleviate poverty. You can spot the people who've never had very little and then had what little they have nicked a mile off. I'd love to know what research these poor starving thieves do to make sure the person they're stealing from can afford to take the hit. In any case, most crime including theft occurs in the most economically deprived areas and it's galling to see some lazy grifter in her £800,000 palace casually solving poverty with "let the poor rob each other": Patreon for me, survival of the fittest for thee. And that goes for all her stupid squigs too. SH1TTERZ.

I’d like to nominate Patreon for me, survival of the fittest for thee for the next thread title.

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

huh, re-reading that Scotsman interview, this paragraph stood out to me:

Maybe they were happy to accept her resignation because she kept calling in with a "migraine". Do that often enough in any workplace and they'll get annoyed. Can only imagine it being worse when you've got rosters to juggle.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

After our Lurpak chats yesterday, I borrowed these from the Memes thread:

 

[Valiofthedolls]

'Here are some words'. Ah excellent.

Right back at ya with some words, Jack.

Spoiler: And…

 

[Mr Krabs]

By ‘friends’ she means deliveroo drivers.

 

[Ostapbender]

She's trying to get out of walking Content already. Nice try Jack, but you'll also need to find someone for the six days out of the week SB isn't there x

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I think she thinks talking about her son dispassionately makes her sound working class. Jack.... it doesn't.

 

[jenny2603]

I’ve often wondered why Jack never comments on NI. Never a mention of her relatives over the water.
Her father was a British soldier, her mother almost certainly a Protestant. One or, more likely both of them, will have strong opinions on both Brexit and the protocol, not to mention Irish reunification.
Her mothers childhood will likely have been shaped by the troubles. Yet utter silence on the subject by, political commentator, Jack. Instead she witters on about Scotland, a country she neither understands nor has ties too.
Very odd.

The nearest she's come to it is having a pop at Corbyn for being soft on/supportive of the IRA (in her view). I'm kind of hoping it stays that way, the last thing we need is Loyalist Jack building a vast bonfire from pallets out the back of the shitty bungalow or Peace Jack treating us all to a heartfelt cover of Zombie by the Cranberries.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I'm honestly thinking of rioting if I see another holier than thou twat assuming that all theft is to alleviate poverty. You can spot the people who've never had very little and then had what little they have nicked a mile off. I'd love to know what research these poor starving thieves do to make sure the person they're stealing from can afford to take the hit. In any case, most crime including theft occurs in the most economically deprived areas and it's galling to see some lazy grifter in her £800,000 palace casually solving poverty with "let the poor rob each other": Patreon for me, survival of the fittest for thee. And that goes for all her stupid squigs too. SH1TTERZ.

God, BIB: Patreon for me, survival of the fittest for thee.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

How has she already spent all the Patreon cash? This is for paypigs to top up the tip jar and nothing else.

 

[jenny2603]

Jack must identify with the 'miserably contemplates catastrophically fucking up' the one thing she wanted most in the world as she looks back at the dismal wreckage of Daily Kitchen Live. Or indeed most of her career opportunities.

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To say nothing of all those broken engagements. There's Johnson onto his third marriage and poor Jack can't get anyone up the aisle.

 

[blurstoftimes]

did she really say she has even considered putting her 12 year old on the naughty step? what the actual fuck…that poor kid she’s an absolute horror. I can’t believe she’s allowed to spend any time alone with him at all, she’s an absolutely awful mum. that’s made me feel so so sad for SB, even if it’s not true it’s disturbing that she thinks it’s ok and normal to say