Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[Chap O]

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Getir getting into Jack's niche and providing a non-shoplifting solution to the butter crisis.

Jack never spends over £20 on a shop so no free Lurpak butter for her! Another way the capitalists punish the poor, and another example to add to the VBI.

 

[instacharlie]

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Apart from that didn't happen........who on earth gives Pringles to someone who is ill? The last thing you want with a cough is dry, scratchy Pringles!

 

[Ostapbender]

hopefully even Jack isn’t that stupid.

well, there was the shortlived Ukraine Jack. "we should send troops to Ukraine, I know what I'm talking about because my brother's in military intelligence..." so sadly anything's possible!

 

[Lazarus]

Thanks, I tried to make this. I changed it a bit by leaving out the turmeric and not blending or slow cooking it as I don't have a blender or slow cooker. I had to mash the eggs with a fork instead and they turned out ok. Otherwise, great recipe

Chapeau dear Ostap-o!
I laugh sometimes when I think of the comments on Jack’s recipes.
squig - My husband doesn’t eat eggs and I’m allergic to them, could I use an alternative please, and if so, what would you recommend as the recipe looks great, thanks.
Jack - aubergine would work.

 

[Cheekymonk3y]

Mmmmm. Yummy.

Why you lie.
Waste salad bag.
Jack cry.

Why you look in hysteria?
salad bag pesto gave me listeria

 

[Mrs Peel]

Is she actually suggesting that she uses the naughty step with a 12-13 year old?

I'm going to age myself here, but at 12-13 I was listening to the Pistols, Buzzcocks, The Damned etc, out with my friends every night after school, going to the local youth club, getting the bus all over the place, smoking, occasionally having a can, going 'up town' every weekend, and generally having a good old time. If my Mum had tried to put me on the naughty step I would probably have laughed.

*I turned out okay by the way

*If I'd been put on a 'naughty step' things may have turned out differently...

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Bless her little mam. These are her comments under the I MUST DANCE ballet photo and a post in which Jack claims she's gotten death and rape threats on twitter (2015) . I would look for more but every time I screen shot the page reloads to the top! View attachment 1397647View attachment 1397648

Interesting that Jack was such a Super Serious Ballet Performer that she must give all speeches on her toes yet judging by this message from her mum she was clearly never en pointe. Not exactly Anna Pavlova, pals.

Don’t even get me started on that sleeveless scuba monstrosity. Just because it has lapels and you’ve paired it with a dreadful shimmery pair of American Tan rights doesn’t make it business, Jack.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

It’s very odd. I watched some of the happy mum happy baby podcast and she talks about SB in a very unemotional way. She talks about how easy parenting is and it doesn’t sound like there is any love there.

How easy it is? Lmao whatttt? I suppose when you treat getting up with your 6 year old an option you’ll hard pass on then yeah the sort of parenting you’re providing will be easy hun!

 

[jenny2603]

I suspect Jack is as full on with her friendships as she is with her partners. Where you or I might meet someone and develop a friendship over time, Jack will go from stranger- new best friend in sixty seconds.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I’m concerned about my mum. In the last few years it’s become apparent she’s developed a rambling problem, she’s at almost every weekend and sometimes during the week when there’s no group rambling going on she gets together with her friend Joan for a quick ramble. She’s even off to France for a rambling holiday in September!

Rambling can indeed be a slippery slope . Have you thought about buying your mum a hammock? Hammocks seem to keep people lazing about in the garden, could be a good way to wean her off the rambling.

 

[MancBee]

Can picture exactly what they'd look like too -

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She's a fine one to be criticising Boris' statement for its insincerity. Old Me-rail Monroe, who can't devote more than a sentence to a serious topic before talking endlessly about herself every time .

What has happened to Jack in that photo? Where's her pointy, pixie like chin, high cheekbones and pouty full lips? Did the Guardian filter them out?

How rude of them. We have all seen Jack's selfies, so they can't fool us. We all know that Jack has perfect skin and features of a pre-pubescent boy.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The Kettle is NOT on, and there will be no cake, squig.

She sees Scotland as the little pond in which she can be the big fish. In the freezer.

 

[Django]

Given her love of lists, I would like Jack to categorise all products into OKAY TO STEAL and NOT OKAY TO STEAL.

I even started it for her:

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Given that Jack's son isn't allowed to use her pens I fear we may be over estimating her altruism.

 

[moldwarp]

I was wondering if it bugged anyone else as much as me!

Bugs me also. She does it because she thinks it makes her sound, and I shudder at this word, 'sassy'

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Fraus, a whiteboard I ordered has just been delivered and I am HOOTING! HOOTING I tell you!

Why, you may ask?

This is the packaging. If only OH hadn’t LEFT this would be perfect for the Southend Slopper.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Reply to someone tweeting about his stoma belt:

 

[panda_eyes]

@Reyjavikgirl

I have never seen a Jack book real life ever.I really want to find some now so I can do things to them.

Also really appreciate how you and other Frauen write about addiction. Your words have impact and resonance.
Namaste

Coventry Waterstones. Too much.

Please excuse my thumbnail.

 

[moldwarp]

Exactly that. I’m not even a parent and I found it upsetting that someone would think about, let alone speak about their child like that in public. i guess it’s because she learned at a young age to be “empathetic and simultaneously detached” (how the fuck does that work?). She also claimed in that podcast that her (shitty) attitude to parenting/her child was because she grew up military around the edges. CUNT


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I'm always amazed by how often Jack can hit the wrong note in a single conversation (or post, or article, or whatever). In this podcast, she simultaneously others her child; sucks the joy out of motherhood; alienates foster children; and suggests that people in the military don't love their children.

The only way you can be this wrong so many times in one short space of time is if you're not speaking from actual emotional experience i.e. lying. That's why ALL of Jack's 'life stories' - whether they're about poverty, addiction, depression, trans, whatever - sound so 'off'. Because she's lying.

She barely speaks human.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Hugely behind on my Jack homework, so had a little glance at her recent tweets.

I have a massive dislike for people who attack Bojo for having lots of kids from different mothers. I detest Boris and think he is a international disgrace and a buffoon, but attitudes have changed since Victorian times (praise rinsed beans) and attacking someone for being divorced is frankly, a bit gauche darling. I mean who amount us?

Especially as Jack was supposedly told by Michael Portillo to “shut her legs” (obv that is a lie of epic proportions). But she should know better than to parrot outdates views about what families should look like for Twitter likes.

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

Given her love of lists, I would like Jack to categorise all products into OKAY TO STEAL and NOT OKAY TO STEAL.

I even started it for her:

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Ooh, I have some additions to the OK to steal list!
From Superdrug: anything you need for personal care.
From supermarket chains that pay their execs £5mil: anything?? 'Cause "fuck them".