Jack Monroe #333 Bootsnack crook

[NellieBoo]

I'd be terrified one would fall off, bonk me on the head while I was in the bath knocking me out and I'd forever be immortalised as the woman drowned by a hanging basket...

ETA: Jack this is not a threat merely my genuine fear at the idea of something like that hanging over my bath.

God, your tragic death might end up in Take A Break or the Daily Mail sidebar of shame .

I think dandelions smell a bit like stale wee - why would you plant them in your house at all, let alone a hanging basket over your bath ? And to let them go to seed as well.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

God, your tragic death might end up in Take A Break or the Daily Mail sidebar of shame .

I think dandelions smell a bit like stale wee - why would you plant them in your house at all, let alone a hanging basket over your bath ? And to let them go to seed as well.

This is exactly my fear: "Naked woman found in bath of floating dandelions, drowned by weed-filled hanging basket"

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I think sitting alone in a coffee shop can feel quite vulnerable for people, even though I agree nobody cares if you're alone in reality.

Less so now in the days of being able to take a laptop and look like you're working, or if you pick a place close to eg a train station where there will be lots of people passing time, but I can see why it's something that might not occur to someone and/or feel like it's overwhelming to do when you already feel a bit lonely and down and are more self-concious. The supermarket is safer territory.

Jack however could take her son to a coffee shop - most kids of his age would jump at the chance to get a frappucino (or equivalent from other chains/independents) and a sweet treat.

In reality she could literally spend more time with her son, I get it's not the same as a partner but he's old enough to old a decent conversation with her and keep her company.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Grunking, but just came on to say that no one in the history of all time has ever mistaken Jack for a man. No one not ever.

 

[jenny2603]

I like dandelions but I'm baffled as to why she wants them in the house. They're better left outside where they can benefit pollinators and get adequate light rather than cluttering up Jack's bathroom.

 

[Feck]

God, your tragic death might end up in Take A Break or the Daily Mail sidebar of shame .

I think dandelions smell a bit like stale wee - why would you plant them in your house at all, let alone a hanging basket over your bath ? And to let them go to seed as well.

🔺️ I have a DEAD relative who was once featured in the News Of The World after an unfortunate bath related incident that involved the local fire brigade 🔺️

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

crunch crunch crunch sniff crunch crunch crunch sniff crunch.

I'm honestly baffled by her radish claim, not once have I ever heard her mention them. bleeping hell, Jack.

Also with ouchy mouth ….

 

[Orphan_Black]

I like dandelions but I'm baffled as to why she wants them in the house. They're better left outside where they can benefit pollinators and get adequate light rather than cluttering up Jack's bathroom.

I did say I hoped her seedlings were dandelions yesterday, maybe she's been grunking.

And if she has, she's been paying more attention than me! Radishy Fugue.

 

[NellieBoo]

Grunking, but just came on to say that no one in the history of all time has ever mistaken Jack for a man. No one not ever.

Quite. But the language she uses is strikingly similar to the men who scream 'I'm a woman now because I say I am, if you say different you are a big old TERF and a RAGING BIGOT and want me to STOP BREATHING', leaving a trail of devastation behind them while they go off 'living their best life'.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Chard update

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Hold on a wee minute there…did she just say she may have got something wrong?

That can’t be Jack. She never admits she’s wrong. NOW I’m starting to worry

 

[MsGilmore]

I’m also imagining lots of flies being brought on with the dandelions.
Although this is also making me crave dandelion and burdock. Haven’t had it for years!

 

[Lazarus]

Who wants to sit alone in a coffee shop?

ME! peace and quiet, a book, a cuppa, a nice slice of cake. Oh yes!

 

[auntylil]

Who wants to sit alone in a coffee shop?

Meeeeee! I love having a coffee and people-watching in our local Starbucks (and grateful I can afford it, when so many can't enjoy such a simple pleasure). Of course, if there's someone to sit aside me, it's obviously much better, but happy to go alone.

I have a confession. We have been married well over 40 years and we do have a joint Google calendar. Please forgive me.

Life is short, Jack. Take your son somewhere, even just a coffee shop, or the Asda cafe if that floats your boat. Talk to him, ask what's going on in his life (because allegedly, he doesn't live with you full time, so chances are you're missing a lot of it). Trust me, when you get to my age and your child/ren have long-since left home and are living their own lives, you will mightily regret these days where you were too entrenched in your own misery to spend quality time with your boy. You can't get this time back.

 

[TbilisiPeach]

I made it to 1:14 but I just couldn’t bear the thought of hearing her voice so I had to switch off.

Laughing like a hyena at her own ~jokes~, everyone sitting there like

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Be still, my beating

 

[LennyBriscoe]

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You're basing it on what you've been told by experienced gardeners, but whatever.

And she’s admitted there’s something she doesn’t know everything about

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Meeeeee! I love having a coffee and people-watching in our local Starbucks (and grateful I can afford it, when so many can't enjoy such a simple pleasure). Of course, if there's someone to sit aside me, it's obviously much better, but happy to go alone.

I have a confession. We have been married well over 40 years and we do have a joint Google calendar. Please forgive me.

Life is short, Jack. Take your son somewhere, even just a coffee shop, or the Asda cafe if that floats your boat. Talk to him, ask what's going on in his life (because allegedly, he doesn't live with you full time, so chances are you're missing a lot of it). Trust me, when you get to my age and your child/ren have long-since left home and are living their own lives, you will mightily regret these days where you were too entrenched in your own misery to spend quality time with your boy. You can't get this time back.

The fact he doesn't seem to do thinks like shop with her or bascially feature much in her plans really does scream to me that he isn't there very much at all.

When I was a teen I was forever out with my mates, yet I still had to help with the shop on occasion and be around when my mum and dad wanted to go places, until I was at least 15.

 

[hellosailor⚓]

Yey! Mine too! I'm having a few people over tonight, wonder if I could persuade anyone to help me clean up afterwards by offering to chase em round with a carpet beater? View attachment 1386202

Sorry to quote myself but I wonder what advice Cynthia Payne would give wor Jackie?

"Now listen dear, if you want to find a nice bloke with plenty of money and a big doo-dah you're going to have to pull yourself together a bit. Men like that don't want a moaning minnie in a cardie who grows dandelions in the bathroom. And you've got another thing coming if you think a lesbian will go anywhere near you with those fingernails."

 

[LennyBriscoe]

This is exactly my fear: "Naked woman found in bath of floating dandelions, drowned by weed-filled hanging basket"

We would be surprised you were naked, I can’t remember which helpful Frau suggested it the other day, but if you were in the bath fully clothed it would save you putting shampoo in your washing machine

*taps sign* - thrifty

 

[colouredlines]

The dandelion story suggests another possible HE LEFT scenario.

Jack: "Look what I've put in the bathroom! Doesn't it look great?"
Harold: "...we need to talk."

 

[Hippopotamus]

Of course they were but how typically Jack to claim them because they were pleasant to her for Harold's sake. Honestly, you'd be terrified to chat to her at a bus stop in case she thought you were now her best friend.

Jenny are you Scottish or does it just feel like home for you?