Jack Monroe #333 Bootsnack crook

[Jelly Bean]

And also, can someone please explain to me what the fuckity-duck this is please? (For clarity, I mean the pile of on the right, not the left)
View attachment 1383525

Those are all her rolls of wallpaper that she uses as backgrounds for her arty food photos

 

[Django]

Did she then? Carry it on? See, Jack, that could have been the start of your YouTube career. Upload the same videos to YT, smashed it, pal! (I'll send you my costs for managing your social media channels, later today, as I'm really, really, really, very busy right now!)

Also had to BARF at the "top UK chef" comment!

And also, can someone please explain to me what the fuckity-duck this is please? (For clarity, I mean the pile of on the right, not the left)
View attachment 1383525

It's Jack's collection of bits of wallpaper for the background for her slop.

 

[Phillipa78]

Southend foxes be like -

View attachment 1383522

Frauen und Herren mit Kinder might find this amusing! Good read I must say!

 

[Mr Krabs]

Had a look at the hellmans stuff to see what was left. When is she doing the live show again?

 

[Pocahontas]

And wasn't the fox... distinguished or well-groomed? The Beatrix Potter era was funny.

Best looking, most well-mannered fox in Southend, nay the United Kingdom. Hope he leaves Jack’s chard alone and goes back to Jemima Puddleduck. See sense, Mr Fox.

 

[NP]

Had a look at the hellmans stuff to see what was left. When is she doing the live show again?

Two years on and this still makes me cringe my hole inside out more than anything else I’ve seen on these threads since.

 

[Ostapbender]

Southend foxes be like -

View attachment 1383522

Fictional canal Southend is so funny

 

[auntylil]

Those are all her rolls of wallpaper that she uses as backgrounds for her arty food photos

Thankspaceyou! Bet they're all Laura Ashley etc - wonder if they survived all one of the burglaries.

I know I keep repeating myself, but she really has missed a trick by being so lazy and disorganised, as you've all pointed out. She could have had millions in the bank by now. Silly, silly girl. But it's not too late, Jack! If you would lower yourself to take advice from people who really could help you, and surround yourself with a decent team of people, you could still make a fortune! Social media is still in its relative infancy - for example, Facebook are throwing megabucks at creators who make reels, trying to cash in on TikTok's success. There are SO many opportunities out there, if you know where to look (or have people to do that for you) and you're willing to TAKE ADVICE.

 

[hellosailor⚓]

Fictional canal Southend is so funny

Southend-on-Canal

 

[DinosaurSenior]

It's the last day of school in Celery Town, and already they are building the Fringe and Book Festival sets. If any SlopGibbon posters appear ANYWHERE near my office, I shall stick googly eyes on them, and subtly blacken out a couple of teeth

 

[MancBee]

Why would a fox eat a chard plant? Especially an urban foxy with bins to raid.

Spoiler: Dark humour about the rabbit

As a side dish to the rabbit.

 

[Vinbisha]

It's like that old riddle about the fox, the chicken and the bag of chard.

Eta for a rubbish pun: she's fallen on chard times.

 

[Ostapbender]

Spoiler: Dark humour about the rabbit

As a side dish to the rabbit.

pictured: the fox and Content rebel against their existence - hanging around Jack's garden, being used for clicks - and decide to swim to France

 

[Emmapism]

Just thinking about how dirty and greasy those wallpaper rolls would be. She used to have them on top of her kitchen cupboards, right?

Her whole house looks like it's been burgled (never mind the shed) the messy cow. You'd never get anything genuinely clean in there, no matter how many lies you tell about deep cleaning

 

[jenny2603]

The chard would most likely have been eaten by pigeons. Jack is an idiot.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Spoiler: Dark humour about the rabbit

As a side dish to the rabbit.

I actually think the fox comment was a tip to the canal, after what we said about Dash.

 

[Lazarus]

Why would a fox eat a chard plant? Especially an urban foxy with bins to raid.

When me and my OH were first courting and living in London, we had a few saucy nights as you do in the early stages of a relationship. It involved me wearing stockings/suspenders and the like. Anyway, for reasons I won’t go into, the stockings got ripped and ended up in the rubbish bin.

reader, we heard a noise outside the flat and looked out to see a fox getting tucked into them. If they’ll eat a pair of 10 deniers, they’ll eat chard, im sure of it.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Net curtains??? Bit gauche darling

 

[Soup or Noodle]

Best looking, most well-mannered fox in Southend, nay the United Kingdom. Hope he leaves Jack’s chard alone and goes back to Jemima Puddleduck. See sense, Mr Fox.

If her veg is being eaten it's probably a rat, not a fox , although I doubt rats are allowed in Thorpe Bay

 

[Mr Krabs]

Thankspaceyou! Bet they're all Laura Ashley etc - wonder if they survived all one of the burglaries.

I know I keep repeating myself, but she really has missed a trick by being so lazy and disorganised, as you've all pointed out. She could have had millions in the bank by now. Silly, silly girl. But it's not too late, Jack! If you would lower yourself to take advice from people who really could help you, and surround yourself with a decent team of people, you could still make a fortune! Social media is still in its relative infancy - for example, Facebook are throwing megabucks at creators who make reels, trying to cash in on TikTok's success. There are SO many opportunities out there, if you know where to look (or have people to do that for you) and you're willing to TAKE ADVICE.

Shan’t.