Her lingering honk brings all the boys in scrubs to the chard and they're like, do I smell lard? Damn right, you do smell lard I could teach you but I have to charge 
Jack Monroe #333 Bootsnack crook
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With apologies to the Gaelic language the first thing I read there was pumblebragâŚ
If Jack still drank alcohol would she enjoy a glass of Chardonnay?
duck me sideways, poor Bob ended up in Monroeville
duck me sideways, poor Bob ended up in Monroeville
Missing homing pigeon Bob found 4,000 miles away in Alabama
The bird was racing home to Gateshead but was found by a puzzled resident at his home in Alabama.
www.bbc.com
Shame he didn't make it to Monroe, Georgia, which will someday be the site of a grand Cable meetup. @Jack_M will be in Tbilisi wondering where the rest of us are.If Jack still drank alcohol would she enjoy a glass of Chardonnay?
duck me sideways, poor Bob ended up in Monroeville
Missing homing pigeon Bob found 4,000 miles away in Alabama
The bird was racing home to Gateshead but was found by a puzzled resident at his home in Alabama.www.bbc.com
(Yes, it's real! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monroe,_Georgia )
So children, what have we learned today.
Despite it being her job, she cannot write.
Despite it being her job, she cannot cook
Despite it being her job she cannot present.
Some ghastly beast has eaten the chard that outlived its natural life by six years.
She apologised for being ghastly to a well meaning squig because they told her that there were such things as charity shops in which you could donate ( for no profit) your unwanted items.
she's expecting to make enough for a house deposit from a few tatty rags she bought on various whims.
anything else children?!
Despite it being her job, she cannot write.
Despite it being her job, she cannot cook
Despite it being her job she cannot present.
Some ghastly beast has eaten the chard that outlived its natural life by six years.
She apologised for being ghastly to a well meaning squig because they told her that there were such things as charity shops in which you could donate ( for no profit) your unwanted items.
she's expecting to make enough for a house deposit from a few tatty rags she bought on various whims.
anything else children?!
I've only found seven.
Does this mean the 8th pumble is loose and roaming about? Is it eating the chard? If I find the last one, I request a copy of Jack's upcoming cookery book, Charred But Not Chard. Thank you very Matt much Matt. 
Update: I found Pumble 8! Southend Canal is safe.
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She didnât get her 1 year chip did she? Otherwise weâd have seen photos surely. Has someone in her group spotted her Twitter activity and her low alcohol drinking and grassed her up perhaps?
That's fairly sane, the word 'Pumble' keeps being whispered in my brain at inopportune moments - even weirder when you consider I've never heard it spoken in real life
I accidentally called my dog Pumble the other day. His name does begin with P but otherwise isnât similar, fortunately no one heard me.That's fairly sane, the word 'Pumble' keeps being whispered in my brain at inopportune moments - even weirder when you consider I've never heard it spoken in real life
Charderee begins at home
I want to reply charidee macdennis but it doesnât quite work. But itâs ok because - maverick-
BUT - what everybody has forgotten is that, in line with the first true monster story in English, is that there is something even scarier in the background.
The Pumble MĹdor.
And there is no noble Thegn Beowulf to save us all. Just the GnĂŚttScitanhwelp of Sudchercha, armed with her trusty sword Hnnnnnnggggghhhhhhhhh.
And people have the nerve to say that degrees in English Literature are no longer relevant
Late to the party, but couldn't let the great Kate Bush go without a mention.
Ooh, he's here again
The man with the chard in his eyes
Ooh, he's here again
The man with the chard in his eyes
Last Train to Chardsville.
That would be the mother of all chaoses.
That would be the mother of all chaoses.
Shocking, isn't it? Who wouldn't want to be able to say Gnat(sized)ShittingPup of Southend?And people have the nerve to say that degrees in English Literature are no longer relevant
I first read about Beowulf when I was about 7 in the Usborne Book of Monsters, Ghosts and UFOs because I was a very strange child who loved that sort of thing. Old Shuck scared the Bejesus out of me, but Grendel? Brilliant. And since being an adult and having to live in a truly crappy flat for years, I completely sympathise with his need to murderise the noisy bastard Danes after his next door neighbour Hrothgar had yet another sodding party.
I wonder whether we could use Like a Scitanhwelp in a thread title?
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Off to Pride later, sure I'll see Jackie no. 14 there doing here bit for the community.....
Also, quick question. *If* someone were to find the vinted account is it against the rules to share it.....
One description mentions Countryfile.....
Also, quick question. *If* someone were to find the vinted account is it against the rules to share it.....
One description mentions Countryfile.....
Oh we NEED a face swap of Kelis Monroe!Her lingering honk brings all the boys in scrubs to the chard and they're like, do I smell lard? Damn right, you do smell lard I could teach you but I have to charge
I hate the grovelling apologies squigs feel like they have to give, they're always so self deprecating, when her and her FMs don't even deserve an apology.
Offering up pumble-chavvie, small pumble in Gypsy parlance...
Well... it's a deeply unsurprising user_name.
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