Jack Monroe #332 A doctor, a teacher and a ceramicist walk into a bar

[Smeghead]

Oh here we go .

It's Not My First Rodeo Jack. Honestly, she ~literally~ has no idea how to engage on SM. None.

Or look after dogs, look after children, cook food, hold down a job, present, cut grass, make tea, clean her nails, have a relationship, be alone, chill, understand numbers, read a book, do a shop, etc etc etc

 

[kachoochoo]

it's impossible to screenshot itv hub, but there's a moment at 32:12 where you can just see lorraine thinking, "what the duck is she on about? shampoo in the washer? is this for real?"

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Mr Krabs]

Love this product name. Masculine traaazers? On a bird?????

 

[Flumps]

View attachment 1381814

*Ahem*

 

[NellieBoo]

She’s woken out of her afternoon pass out in a snippy mood

. The one thing my mother in law and I are in agreement with is put a baby to bed in a funny mood and they'll wake up snippy .

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

. The one thing my mother in law and I are in agreement with is put a baby to bed in a funny mood and they'll wake up snippy .

That’s what I say if I ever have an afternoon nap I wake up like a wee baby like that
I don’t know how the Spanish do it every day to be honest!

 

[Hollaaa]

I'm fully over those earrings now. If I never see them again it'll be too soon. Not to my taste at all.

 

[Elastoblast]

So will Lorraine be forced to issue an apology and a public awareness statement about not using shampoo in a washing machine on tomorrow's show?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

They'll have a crate of 0% Heinies and a caterpillar cake ready for her.

How many minutes into her share do we think she was before she gave us a namecheck?

I reckon three minutes before she said it was a miracle she got to a year after a group of mendacious ninnies gave her ouchie feelings.

 

[Boogs]

If I did a line every time she stated that she did a lot of groundwork I’d be starting to resemble Daniella Westbrook too.

 

[NeoCortex]

I wonder of her switchboard will light up tomorrow with hundreds of callers complaining they broke their washing machine and flooded the kitchen with foam.

Won't someone please think of the pumble?

 

[MancBee]

I’m glad it’s not just me who thinks this. If she carries on this trajectory she’ll be Ena Sharples by 2025.

Nobody loves a fairy when they're 40. I doubt pixies fair much better. Clock's ticking Jack.

 

[StatusWoe]

If only this could be a thread title

Flump you, then, you know-it-all cnut.

I tried, but it doesn't have the same impact.

Edit: Oh dear...without the original quote it looks as though I've just horribly insulted @DinosaurSenior

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

The history of Burglar Bill.

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Spoiler: Text from the first Burglar Bill pic

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I still don’t understand the point she’s trying to prove with that photo on the left? Weren’t most people dressed like that on the 19th March 2021? We still weren’t allowed to leave the house.

 

[kachoochoo]

honestly, i know nothing about dogs, but I know they need to be trained!

and take your shoes off indoors, you bleeping mucky twit!

 

[Captainmouse]

Are you saying the dogs gonna start grifting on Patreon and howling incomprehensible bollox on Twitter?

It will be using facetune

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I still can’t get over “every major news channel”.

 

[Orphan_Black]

I'm guessing the doctor, the English teacher, and the ceramicist have ghosted her already?

Poor Laurie having to love Jack to fill her empty void.

I'm betting the dog eats the special sobriety chip. Madcap japes for the clout.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I found your sibling too View attachment 1381724

“A no make up selfie”