Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

[BlendedSlop]

I'm on a permagrunk lately but all the Nighty Night references are reminding me of Jill's trip to the dating agency.

"Right, Jill. Age bracket for the sort of man you're after?"
"18 up please."
"Right...and at the top end?"
"Erm...71."
"Okayyy...and what about personality?"
"I don't mind if he's got one or not."
"And do you want someone who's emotionally open - able to communicate?"
"No thank you."

I've said on more than one occasion that Jack reminds me of Jill Tyrell in so many ways. At least she can pay a visit to Lasso the Moon if the Tinder trawling doesn't bag her a new meal ticket.

 

[Ostapbender]

I'm on a permagrunk lately but all the Nighty Night references are reminding me of Jill's trip to the dating agency.

"Right, Jill. Age bracket for the sort of man you're after?"
"18 up please."
"Right...and at the top end?"
"Erm...71."
"Okayyy...and what about personality?"
"I don't mind if he's got one or not."
"And do you want someone who's emotionally open - able to communicate?"
"No thank you."

I've said on more than one occasion that Jack reminds me of Jill Tyrell in so many ways. At least she can pay a visit to Lasso the Moon if the Tinder trawling doesn't bag her a new meal ticket.

Please stay with me, Don. Got a pot of ravioli in my bag.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Sally4ever also has an extremely Jack-like lead character who moves in with a woman, leeches off her and takes over her life. Highly recommend if you like Julia Davis.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I just realised she's posted the Tinder shite onto Twitter so that any unsuspecting, blue-tick singletons are made aware that she's available. She's the starfucker! Well, she wishes she was.

 

[skronkywildcat]

It was blatantly snidey, though I do mistrust that account in general. I can't quite put my finger on why but it gives me the ick.

Instincts like that about online personae are 99.9% accurate.

 

[Dogmuck]

Bravo LJC bravo
Paging Jack

And the other message to Jack - fixed it for ya Louisa babe -

 

[HotesTilaire]

Can we make it like Stormzy is 72 years old is 72 years old

haha every time

Man I just want a sign from Stormz that he’s heard the joke and thinks it’s funny
Bounces on stage in a “72” Banksy stab vest

She hasn’t done an Instagram post since 25th April, and that was the veg peeling roast rehashed. The most recent food post before that was 18th January.

I unrelated news I really really want someone to do a cook along. Just not me.

It’s been a while hasn’t it?
Bagsy not me

Yeah, but the sausages aren't meat

Tea stained egg paste sausage? For the vegetarians?

 

[StatusWoe]

However I believe their cheesegraters were a different shape to ours, which is where a lot of the academic argument about the 'lion on a cheesegrater' comes in. personally I think it was a cowgirl type deal. But I am not an expert.

This is the funniest thing I've seen today. My mind is struggling to picture what it would entail. In gay parlance, rather than talking about tops and bottoms, would they ask 'are you the lion or the cheesegrater?' Would couples argue because someone was 'always the cheesegrater, never the lion'? Sorry if this is veering off on an inappropriate tangent, fraus. The ancient Greeks are always the worst influence on me.

Also, I'm still grunking through this thread, but backwards (hope that makes sense) so I don't yet know what Jack's been doing since yesterday's Tinder cringeathon. Has anything interesting happened? I hope for Jack's own safety that she hasn't ventured out of her hovel of shame bungalow?

 

[StatusWoe]

read Courtesans & Fishcakes by James Davidson.

P.S. Read that as 'Jim Davidson' and had a moment of confusion.

 

[LeftToMyOwnDevices]

Lorraine alert!

 

[Tabitha D]

Lorraine alert! View attachment 1379771

Does this mean she’s actually live rather than pre-recorded?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Lorraine alert! View attachment 1379771

Not really sweetie. Some of us have been up for a while. The birds get going about 3.20am round here at the moment anyway.

Who is looking after Laurie while you waltz into London?

Does this mean she’s actually live rather than pre-recorded?

This will be the most exciting thing that has happened since…

the last time she was on Lorraine.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Jack's up with the larks is most other people's morning tea time.

 

[NeoCortex]

She probably hasn't been to bed. Probably frantically stuffing coffee granules into her morning pumble in an effort to sober up

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Not sure that’s what she’s going on Lorraine for squig, but you do you

 

[moldwarp]

Jacks baaaaaack bbbeyatches!!!!!

 

[colouredlines]

Not sure that’s what she’s going on Lorraine for squig, but you do you
View attachment 1379780

Give 'em hell

...ishly bad food

 

[Clarends]

Give 'em hell

...ishly bad food

...mans style presentation

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

If I wanted someone to put the world to rights, Jack and Lorraine probably wouldn’t be the first two people I would think of. But hey ho. We aren’t living in Florida yet are we?

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Give them hell….pings of rancid brown slop!