So where do we think Jack has been softly and gently whisked off to by OH? An early start to her Scotland visit is a possibility but I haven't detected any foul smells as yet so she may have decided to stop off somewhere on her way up- I suppose the people carrying her sedan chair need a break from time to time.
Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery
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Maybe she really was caught by the fuzz and is in the cells for tweeting lies about the police
More likely someone has had enough of her bollocks and staged some kind of intervention.
I have visions of Big Dave trying to catch her in a net.
If she has decided to make the pilgrimage north of the border earlier and has another cooking in an aparthotel episode, this will open the door for photoshops of The Rock in his wrestling days, with the caption: ‘Can you smelllllllll what the Jock is cooking?’
She has been utterly useless in explaining the VBI's use and application either. None of us here strike me as particularly daft but we are all baffled by it. She is (theoretically) collating old prices from receipts, will then visit 10 supermarkets in different towns (duck knows why) and then.....? How will it help now and in the future? It will keep needing to be revised at least yearly won't it? She is too lazy to do this. Is she hoping it will be so marvellous someone else will take it on? (Not that it will ever see the light of day obvs).
I think she was hoping that it would prove her right, that food for the poors was rising in price 344% faster than the lamb and champagne for the rich. Other than that, it's not going to help anyone. Unfortunately for her, she's probably realised by now that it won't prove her right, because er, she was wrong.
This reminds me of one of my favourite jokes …Maybe she really was caught by the fuzz and is in the cells for tweeting lies about the police
Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?
No but I’ve been swung round by my tits a few times …
Was just thinking that the last time she was this quiet at the weekend her "deliciously normal" OH who works "in a little shop" swept her off for a romantic weekend in Venice.
Wonder if they've been anywhere nice this time? Or maybe they've had an airport chaos and even she realised it would be tone deaf to tweet about...or she's trying to work out how to make it acceptable....finding tickets in a puddle? Accidentally getting on a flight to Barcelona instead of the 13:47 from Southend? (We've all done it).
The squibs are all keyboard politicians, desperate for a sprinkle of cachet from posting tweets like “a call for evidence” in some weird “Blue Peter receipt collection exercise” that’s really going to sock it to Bojo and his evil tory cabinet.
I remember collecting crisp packets or something to help Kampuchea (didn’t catch on, called Cambodia again) but I think I understood that we basically collect scrap in exchange for cash. I didn’t think they flew out old crisp packets for them to melt into plastic bricks. These squig numbskulls really think Geoff and Marjorie’s saino shopping receipt from 2016 is political activism. FML.
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She's probably mourning the loss of made up death and torture threats from her arsenal of begging tools, now that the squigs have shown they take her nonsense seriously enough to involve the police. Poor Jack, when she said send coppers, she didn't mean the boys in blue.
I think he's whisked her away to the Lake District, as we know, this is where Jack can enjoy anonymity. She can avoid the public gaze and take rest from the burden of being the only person doing any work to feed the poors.
That is where she holidays when it’s all too much, because she hasn’t had a holiday in ten years.
I KNOW someone else has already said this but ‘Dr Dr Jack Monroe, ADHD ASD’ makes me HOWL
Oh is that what the VBI is? Because that’s literally what trolley.co.uk does. It’s a website where you can enter a product, see the prices at all the major supermarkets and see a graph that shows whether the price has gone up or down. So she’s basically making something that’s already a site but worse?
My favourite thing about Jack is that her fans are such patronising shits to her, and she doesn't seem to notice and/or care. So every inane statement - I'm making an index! I used the old tins to make tealights! I tidied my kitchen! I ate a maize snack! Boris is a meanie! I have a lever arch file! - is greeted with the type of praise you'd give a friend's slightly slow 5-year-old. "Ooh aren't you awfully clever, Jack! That's a very big lever arch file, isn't it? And look, you've managed to get all the receipts in there. Your mummy will be so proud!"
I’ve always suspected the fuzz will be over to investigate smells from the Mitty Bungalow.
Either that or drains will be clogged up with bollock sausage grease and pumble plasm, then the plumbers will be traumatised and report it
bit like how they caught Dennis Nilsen
Off to check whether anyone's firing any heavy artillery on residential streets. As you do.
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