Ha ha! I actually hope she arrives by rail at Glasgow Central because she'll tit herself. Sadly the area around Central Station is pretty run down, though not actually that dangerous, however it does look grim.
Jack Monroe #321 It's just that Jack wasn't especially cool or well liked
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Not liking the message but sending lots of love and there will always be plenty of piss taking words here whilst Madam still insists on acting like such a bleep…
Jack branches into travel writing:
As I trailed out of Glasgow Central Station, I felt tired, low and blue. A man in a suit had looked at me on the train, clearly thinking, "What is a single mother doing in first class?" I had cringed and melted into my train seat, chewing on nails and Opal Fruits as I longed to disappear. When he asked me to move my feet out of the aisle so he could move past, I knew he was really saying, "You don't belong here, go back to a DARK flat in 2010!"
But out of the murk, a sign leaped up and danced to my cracked and weary eyes. Seeing the name plastered across the sign, I thought it sounded a bit fancy and pricey, but I bit the bullet. Isn't travel all about branching out? Hurtling into the place, a fantastic smell of pastry and coffee greeted me. "Hello," smiled the woman behind the counter, with a classically Scottish expression of delight at seeing my sad little face. "Can I help you?" she gushed. Well, long story short, I was bowled over by the service in Costa Coffee Glasgow Central and would go there again in a heartbeat-
As I trailed out of Glasgow Central Station, I felt tired, low and blue. A man in a suit had looked at me on the train, clearly thinking, "What is a single mother doing in first class?" I had cringed and melted into my train seat, chewing on nails and Opal Fruits as I longed to disappear. When he asked me to move my feet out of the aisle so he could move past, I knew he was really saying, "You don't belong here, go back to a DARK flat in 2010!"
But out of the murk, a sign leaped up and danced to my cracked and weary eyes. Seeing the name plastered across the sign, I thought it sounded a bit fancy and pricey, but I bit the bullet. Isn't travel all about branching out? Hurtling into the place, a fantastic smell of pastry and coffee greeted me. "Hello," smiled the woman behind the counter, with a classically Scottish expression of delight at seeing my sad little face. "Can I help you?" she gushed. Well, long story short, I was bowled over by the service in Costa Coffee Glasgow Central and would go there again in a heartbeat-
It's Gordon St that's the worst really isn't it. I would piss myself laughing if she started a conversation with the folks that hang around there
She needs to launch herself into the blue lagoon at Gordon St and buy a deep fried (vegan) sausage supper
Let's see if she makes the news like Bieber did
Shed end up jumping the counter and telling them they need to deep fry peach slop or words to that effect
BTW the deep fried vegan blue lagoon supper isn't bad. Only had it once but its much better than Slop a la Monroe
Ah fuckety duck. Not liking the message but giving a solid chin lift. Keep on keeping on.
I wonder if the grey jumper and/or the pleather trousers will get an airing?
Under the weather?
It’s the trousers of pleather
Please, please do an alternative version which includes a random woman screaming 'Ya should've kept yer legs shut, hen'.
Mhairi Black you talk shite hen would do it for me
I believe Mhairi has a first in politics and she's the MP for Paisley. Glasgow Airport is in Paisley so Jack could pay Mhairi a wee visit if Mhairi was in Scotland at the time
I would legit love to see that
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Jack: [standing in the street in front of
Woman with a pushchair: You're blocking the pavement, hen
Jack, later: And then she said "I'm MARRIED with four kids, queer tattooed single parents like you are not welcome in Glasgow-"
(I have never been to Glasgow and Google tells me that a certain independent restaurant hasn't reached it yet? But... where will Jack eat?)
Can't wait to see Jack in the queue for the Catty next weekend
Gives me heavy "I've just emptied the dishwasher" vibes.
still have like 30 pages to grunk, but did she ever ask the "random woman" if she wanted calling?? i don't do phone calls, people only call me when someone's died. ljc, I jump when i see my phone is ringing and I have to curb the instinct to block immediately. it's bleeping weird to be calling people if they don't want to be called
There's a Five Guys.
Watching my local news tonight and there was a report on time wasters ringing 999 in Essex!
Guess who came to mind!
Guess who came to mind!
It’s ok I’m sure they have a five guys to keep her going until she hops over to the ‘Burgh
Snap @Hollaaa
Relax, we have a Five Guys! The Peoples Urchin will not starve.
ETA: Beaten to it, twice!
It's so bloody funny I've saved it to our media library so we can have a hoot n fizz to cheer ourselves up xInspired by this legendary post which is still making me
a day later and yesterdays sudden and mysterious copper chaos I would like to make a thread title nomination.
Thread title nomination: Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery.
God knows, we need it the last couple of days
Well done. I feel that the elusive Mr T Roll should become a stock character in the Jackieverse. A sinister and chaotic presence lurking in the eaves of the crappy bungalow, waiting to strike.It's so bloody funny I've saved it to our media library so we can have a hoot n fizz to cheer ourselves up x
God knows, we need it the last couple of days
It’s all gold, but this part in particular just sends me -It's so bloody funny I've saved it to our media library so we can have a hoot n fizz to cheer ourselves up x
God knows, we need it the last couple of days
"Oh no, it's quite alright. Feel free to tell her my report is malicious, too."
"Will do. Thanks for your call!"
Chapeau @BlendedSlop !
It's the natural, businesslike way he says "Yes, it's Mr T Roll" that kills me.
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