Jack Monroe #32 Shan't!

[AmTellinYa]

My landlord lets me redecorate, but only because he didn't do it before I moved in and it desperately needed doing! Lime green carpets anyone? I have blue hair so it really clashes too

I'm not allowed pets though, that's a strict no no. My neighbour has just got a kitten because she was bored during lockdown but I know she's not allowed any pets so be interested to see how that turns out

However, I've just bought a house (fancy!) and I earn much less than Jack does (speculation, your honour) it's taken me six years to save up enough to get a mortgage mind you

Massive congrats on the house!! xx

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

I think that adopting cats in need, who others may overlook, is lovely and selfless. But only when the person doing it has enough resources, knowledge and funds for what may come.

She's in a bit of a cat(ch) 22 isn't she (sorry)

Either she can afford to care for this cat and she's not as destitute as she makes out or she can't and she's being a selfish attention seeker.

 

[HockyRorror]

I found the Jameela thing. (It was a cheese string she brought with her to the Emmys). But I do also remember the frozen peas on face thing!

 

[Fluffyslippers95]

So so SO much twattery...

I came to it late so didn’t get the chance to comment, but for God’s sake witch. Just admit you can’t afford/won’t pay your admin. I have first hand experience of applying for furlough for employees, due to the day job and she would know by now if she was able to claim it from the government. It’s the first thing you find out when applying! You’re in a financial mess and can’t pay her and have access to a grant right now because of the furlough scheme so you’re taking it! Good for you, a lot of struggling businesses (ones that would have been struggling even if there was no lockdown) are. Just say that instead of making up weird lies!

Have to say as frustrating as it was not being able to say that (not that she would have responded anyway) it was heartwarming as duck seeing the way some of you witches told her about herself

 

[Veronicaaa]

I thought it was Edinburgh, maybe just assumed that as knew it was east coast?

Oh sorry, @Blurp, I missed this. She moved from Edinbugh to Fife a year or so ago, I think. Then got a new boyfriend / job in Glasgow, so was travelling between Glasgow, Fife and Edinburgh (where her kid's dads are, I believe) all through lockdown, while also claiming to have COVID. In the past couple of weeks she seems to have moved to Glasgow full-time, so it's worth avoiding Kelvingrove Park if you're in the vicinity.

She's in a bit of a cat(ch) 22 isn't she (sorry)

Either she can afford to care for this cat and she's not as destitute as she makes out or she can't and she's being a selfish attention seeker.

Or she'll start a crowdfunder.

 

[veryfondoftea]

I know, I keep trying to attach it as an image, but it won't let me.

Just imagine the world's most handsome and cute black cat (I may be slightly biased) with a slightly dishevelled appearance and a disdainful expression until I can work out how to post an image.

This sounds very much like a description of my black cat (minus the dishevellment) so we may have a competition on our hands!

 

[Imainlylurk]

Something about the comment about pets being easier than people riles me the wrong way when it is coming from Jack; what will she do when this cat with serious medical needs gets boringly complex?

Also loving the Vonny LeClerc tea - used to follow her on Twitter and she was tediously self obsessed.

 

[Fluffyslippers95]

I think my favourite thing was that she literally SIGNED UP TO THE FORUM to set us straight about the weight of one of her many sideboards, and the fact that she doesn't take heroin (because that's definitely been the main jist of these 30+ threads), and the fact that she is BUSY, but she was never actually transparent about how poor (read: not poor) she actually is. Which has been the root of almost everyone's issue with her, IMO.

She did her usual sadface schtick about childcare and precarity and illness and sadness (join the bleeping club), but ultimately she also got paid for DKL this week, and five figures for that Hellmann's shocker, which means that she has taken home considerably more than the average UK wage in the space of three months, before we even consider speaking arrangements, books, Patreon and other writing gigs. She is RICH. And she knows it. Cash flow problems are the usual for the self-employed. As she admitted: she just bought a bleeping Smeg. She's FINE (financially. Personally... the opposite is evident).

And don’t forget. She’s personally deeply upset about the taking heroin comment due to a personal deeply upsetting personal reasons from her past that she will not share. she’s just so much more effected by it than anyone else.

Why? What on Earth could it be that the mere mention of it upsets her so much more than anyone else apparently. Her mum and dad aren’t as far as I know. To me that’s all it could be. That or a significant other dying from it and we would definitely know by now if that we’re the case! That one would have been dragged out for the pity parade long ago!

So what? Particularly emotionally wrought after watching Trainspotting??!!!

 

[blurstoftimes]

And don’t forget. She’s personally deeply upset about the taking heroin comment due to a personal deeply upsetting personal reasons from her past that she will not share. she’s just so much more effected by it than anyone else.

Why? What on Earth could it be that the mere mention of it upsets her so much more than anyone else apparently. Her mum and dad aren’t as far as I know. To me that’s all it could be. That or a significant other dying from it and we would definitely know by now if that we’re the case! That one would have been dragged out for the pity parade long ago!

So what? Particularly emotionally wrought after watching Trainspotting??!!!

That really annoyed me too. She does this with absolutely everything. She must have been seriously spoiled by her parents as a child to still be such a self-obsessed brat.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Or she'll start a crowdfunder.

This is part of why it's felt ever so dark for me, like I'm not accusing her of these things or saying this is her intent before she comes back to haunt us again like the ghost of christmas yet to bleeping come - but... the idea of acquiring a pet in need of serious medical interventions (to the tune of thousands) whilst you're also living on such a knife's edge that you have to beg for support via Patreon only leads one way, surely?

It's not fair to make a cat live such a pained & limited life in the first place, it's even less fair to use it as the posterboy for your Patreon donations tin. It's truly chilling thinking of all the scope this has to go really bleeping wrong - like that sick couple in the US who adopted a child with additional needs and then got rid of him :/!

 

[Nosy_af]

A dedicated rehab-specialist rescuer (thinking of Kitten Lady here) would be much better for the wee kitten than an 'amateur' home. Often the deformed legs are fixable, but it takes splints, lots of physio (which you need to remember to do) and lots of time...oh yeah, and money. It's a lot of work and dedication. Not 'I did a chaos!'

 

[choccydigestive]

It’s not, I repeat, NOT an impulsive decision.

some tweets for anyone who’s not seen them and incase they get deleted.

cropped out the picture of the kitten just to save anyone who might find it distressing.

If she's taking it to the vet straightaway for assessment to see if it's in pain then WHERE is she getting it from? Any reputable rescue centre would have already done this and prepared a rigorous treatment plan for any prospective adopter!! Is she just having it off a mate?

 

[GothPrincess]

Getting that kitten is so irresponsible. Cats are territorial so her current cat won’t put up with it. Also, what quality of life will that kitten have?

 

[Flumps]

A dedicated rehab-specialist rescuer (thinking of Kitten Lady here) would be much better for the wee kitten than an 'amateur' home. Often the deformed legs are fixable, but it takes splints, lots of physio (which you need to remember to do) and lots of time...oh yeah, and money. It's a lot of work and dedication. Not 'I did a chaos!'

Yes. Someone really should tell JM that 'caring about' is not the same as 'caring for'. Unfortunately all the love in the world in the former instance doesn't auto-translate into the skills/resources/personality to do the latter.

 

[Hunty]

Oh boy. I keep looking at these in Aldi and thinking that I very much want them.

There were some 'low fat' ice cream things in Aldi recently that we bought and they tasted v like those frozen mousses that my mum (and most other mums) kept in the freezer, in a tube of little plastic pots. I want some of those right now.

You very much need them, especially now with it being so hot . They really are good though, fruity and refreshing, I take the chocolate bits off and eat those first as I don't like chocolate with that type of ice lolly, chocolate and ice cream yes but not this kind of lolly, so I eat the chocolate first, there isn't alot, like five mini mini buttons lol I order you to immediately go buy some

 

[Silver Linings]

You very much need them, especially now with it being so hot . They really are good though, fruity and refreshing, I take the chocolate bits off and eat those first as I don't like chocolate with that type of ice lolly, chocolate and ice cream yes but not this kind of lolly, so I eat the chocolate first, there isn't alot, like five mini mini buttons lol I order you to immediately go buy some

This is the kind of in depth ice cream assessment i’m here for.

 

[Cbacooking]

Congratulations @IGisntreal how exciting for you!

I know I'm a bit behind but I've just watched the re do of the leftover larder Jack did the other day, I just cant understand why she brags constantly about being tit at her job and doing a crap job at something she is being paid to do!

Like I'm pretty sure if I kept cocking up at work and I just kept saying to my boss 'oh sorry it's because I'm incompetent' eventually he would be telling me to go be incompetent somewhere else!

I started watching it last night and honest to god, had to put it down half way through to fall asleep. Jack has invented the cure for my insomnia!

 

[Pocahontas]

I do love a Cornetto or a mint magnum. Basic witch that I am! Also - Calyppos (sp?) - although I’m steering clear of those. Last time I had one I got overzealous towards the end with the pushing and the soggy, melty end leapt out of the tube and all over my top.

Bit rude.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

I found the Jameela thing. (It was a cheese string she brought with her to the Emmys). But I do also remember the frozen peas on face thing!

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I’m itching to look at the JJ thread but not sure I have time...

 

[Pocahontas]

I’m itching to look at the JJ thread but not sure I have time...

Me too! I honestly didn’t realise that she was such a card until I started reading this thread and people comparing her to JM.

But another thread to read would make me BU-SY.