Jack Monroe #32 Shan't!

[HockyRorror]

Tattlers Quiz (in the style of a Cosmopolitan sex quiz)

You have a presentation to do on Instagram live in a few hours. Do you:

A) Spend those hours pre-preparing, going over your lines, making sure the camera angles are right, go through a few test runs, etc
B) Decide to faff the time away by giving yourself a makeover and chopping your hair off

You are given some sagely advice, from multiple people. It might not be the easiest advice to swallow but it is genuine and heartfelt. How do you respond to this advice?

A) Nod thoughtfully / Respond accordingly / Thank the person for taking the time to help
B) Say “SHAN’T”

You are a business owner and there are tons of things you are behind on. There are missing orders from things people have bought and they are contacting you telling you they haven’t received some items. What is the best course of action?

A) Get right on it. Sort out whatever you need to do, before directly responding to the people who contacted you and assure them that it’s sorted but to let you, as the business owner, know if there’s any further problems so you can look into it
B) Sign up to a website you’ve previously slagged off and spend the day arguing with people all the while telling them how busy you are and how you’ve “actually got a lot of work to do”?

So, are you actually Jack Monroe?

If you answered mostly “A)”: then no. You seem to mostly have your priorities in order, can organise your time fairly wisely and know when it’s time to knuckle down in order to meet a deadline.

If you answered mostly “B)”: Yes, absolutely x

 

[Oohthedrama]

I don’t comment on this thread,
I read it because it a very popular thread with some brilliant contributors, but I do want to add something after watching what went on yesterday.

This. Will. Be. Long
to Jack first of all,
stop,
you’re a business woman, you’ve built an extremely successful brand, your social media is an extension of that brand, you control what you put on there, you can’t however control how others receive it.
At some point you need to decide if it’s worth it, you’ve said you wouldn’t wish fame on anyone, like you’re somehow shackled to this ball you can’t shake off, but there is nothing stopping you from walking away, absolutely nothing.
You suffer with your mental health, I can honestly say it’s one of the loneliest places to be in a times...
Stuck in your own mind when it’s turned against you, A lot of people feel that way, that’s reality, BUT in no industry can that be used as an excuse for shitty behaviour, you can’t be a bad ass boss woman one min, and then whip out the mental health card when it all gets to much and you’re called out on your behaviour.

I have no idea why Jack comes here, why she engaged with users yesterday, I felt like it started out as some kind of “warning” to members, then it turned into some twisted act of self harm, like she enjoys consuming all this “hate” because it feeds into the “poor me” narrative.
Then it felt like an attempt to garner sympathy, “poor jack, poor poor jack”
I’ve never seen an influencer enjoy retelling their tales of woe so much in my life.

(Spoiler, a lot of us have shit going on, or have lived through shit. Life is shit)

We went from attempts to garner sympathy, to unnecessary sass with other members telling everyone she was going, then she was really going, then she was trying to be smart, before... going
It was draining, it was honestly draining to read
(I had a toddler throwing a tantrum mid way through because she wanted a bottle top and it was the wrong bottle top and I don’t know which was more draining, I kinda wanted to offer Jack a bottle top...)

The reason I’m posting here now I’m getting there....
Members seem so confused, guilty and effected by what happened yesterday.
It really does show why admin doesn't allow influencers to post on their own thread. It will never end well because emotions can be played.
And we’re all human! We do feel sadness and guilt and what not.
You can leave a review for a film and say it was a piece of piss.
The director isn’t gonna slide into your PM’s and tell you you’ve effected their mental health.

Jack is a business, yes she’s human but she is a brand.
She has the resources to employ people to monitor the public opinion, she has the resources to invest in improving her mental health.
If you’re allergic to gluten, the last thing you’re gonna do is go hang out in a bread making factory for the laugh and start licking the flour knowing it will fuck you over,
This is the bakery. Step away

Nobody here should feel bad for discussing a business, nobody here trolls her accounts, nobody here has sent her hate or abuse, I don’t know what the point of yesterday was, I felt embarrassed for her, not exactly sad for her, just embarrassed that she came on to “defend“ herself, yet ended up doing nothing but confirming what users say about her, she’s her own worst enemy, I suppose that is sad, but if you refuse to accept that and change your behaviour, and at the same time your personality is paying your rent You need to accept the good with the bad, or change one of the two things.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

I hate the way she speaks as though she's the only one to ever have a bad time and that it's somehow an excuse for her behaviour.

She spoke about having stalkers and it making her protective of her home. You know what, I had a stalker who literally attempted to murder me, had a right good go at it with his hands around my neck until I slumped to the floor and he thought I was dead. I had to move, come off the electoral roll, cover my new house in cameras and alarms, have a panic button installed by the police, etc. It terrifies me, but you know what it doesn't make me? A fucking liar. She knows damn well why her fucking address was mentioned here, and it gets on my fucking nerves when she pretends that she was in danger or even believed she was. She was just annoyed that people were questioning her story.

Did she check in on Jamie Oliver the day she set her hounds on him? Make sure he wasn't having a bad time? Did she fuck. She does not even consider the fact that anyone else might be having a hard time, it's all about her and her tragic shite.

 

[Harrybosch]

I've skipped 25 pages in the last thread to protect my sanity. @Silver Linings has claimed the red jelly babies, anyone else? I don't mind the green ones

I'll sum it up for you.

We learned today that Mrs J was on Tattle In the last 6 weeks but was banned (not confirmed by mods)

Father of SB has started working full-time again last week so she doesn't have any childcare.

A friend looked after SB yesterday for the duration of the insta life.

She was on her laptop to read tattle, both her phones were charging in the hall.

She doesn't know why she reads here but hopes her therapist will help her work it out.

She is leaving now. I mean in five. I mean in a minute. She has an important deadline, bit our questions are so demanding she must stay. I mean, can she go now? She's BUSY and hasn't got time for this.

*Your honour, for the record, JM came here on her own volition and was told repeatedly she could leave at any time/should leave for her own sanity.

 

[MooBelle]

Some very interesting tidbits in this....

View attachment 162771

Um, so let me get this right.....
Mumsnet had a thread on her
Mumsnet deleted thread
JM was so furious SHE WENT ON THE FORUM TO START HER OWN THREAD ON HERSELF?!!!!!!!!


Oh. My. God.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Massive thank you to everyone for keeping that last thread going, even when we were invaded. It was an absolute honour to be in the thread name for the full 50. Now, to get back to normality on our new thread which Jack isn't allowed to derail.

 

[tattle admin]

I've said it many times but one more time; choosing to keep things on tattle isn't a discussion to be had - it's mandatory. If we don't think it's being followed the whole thread risks getting locked.

I don't want to sound authoritarian but flouncing is against the rules. Not for any nefarious means but because it goes all offtopic with the please stay messages and 95% return a shortly after. It also fuels these social media people who come here with the aim of shutting down the conversation and silencing people. If you want to take a break from tattle please do without announcing.

 

[moglits]

I’m two beers in ergo at my most or least eloquent. Dunno.

What I do have is a bit more headspace to reflect on what got to me about Jack’s recent tirade.

Many things stick in my throat about this whole kerfuffle, but the main thing is mental health as a ‘get out of jail free’ card. Nope, sorry, no. It just doesn’t wash.

A breakup is shit. For sure. I remember thinking I would never stop crying, that I’d never get over it, that I’d never love anyone again. Bloody awful. Bawled into my (beefy) forearm in the loos so no-one would hear me. Deeply damaged by an abusive relationship, I cried a river.

Still showed up though. Still did my job, didn’t throw in the breakup and associated mental fog as a reason to be a bit shitty.

I’m a key worker. Ever since *gesticulates wildly* all this kicked off, I’ve had to turn up, day after day, and get shit done. I have never known workplace stress like this. It’s done an absolute number on me; damaging thoughts, tarnished my marriage, belly-sobs in the briefing room and everything.

Not elevenerifing here, as as with everything mental health related YMMV, but not once have I been snippy, entitled, and rude and thrown out a casual “be kind, yeah? Having a hard time.” In the real world, it simply is not an option.

THAT’S what gets to me. I may not be under the scrutiny of strangers, but I don’t put myself in a position where I can be. What I - and a gazillion other people don’t get - is the luxury of throwing my hands up in the air and going DID A CHAOS. No. I have to turn up, do a good job, and more specifically own my shit.

If I could make sandwiches for five figures, you bet I’d do a fine job. Because I do much more for much less, and that’s just what you do.

 

[Silver Linings]

Thread suggestion - Jack Monroe #33 Jack’s back on twitter, what a surprise. We need a button to roll our eyes.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

We also found out the Tebutt smells CLEAN.

 

[colouredlines]

I think one of the reasons that many of us are drawn to the Jack threads - other than curiosity about the culinary properties of horse spunk - is that we can see something of ourselves in here. Often it's the very worst part of ourselves, the part that, if left unchecked, would lead us to enormous self-sabotage.

I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which may or may not be on Jack's list? Anyway, it occasionally leads to atrocious behaviour...except it doesn't. I still have the ability to check myself before I wreck myself, so to speak. As I get older, and more familiar with my condition, that ability has grown stronger. FWIW, I'm about the same age as Jack.

I started seeing someone recently and it's going very well - as in, the first person I could actually see myself having a proper relationship with for a very long time. He has made it abundantly clear that he feels the same way. When we are together, it's fabulous.

Yet...when we are apart, my anxiety kicks into overdrive. It's been a stressful year (coronavirus was invented in a lab with the specific purpose of fucking up my life, I tell you), and I am not well. My anxiety tells me that this man is probably off having random orgies, or has lost interest in me, or has lied and is secretly married, or is just too good for me and I will only fuck things up. I check his distance from me on Tinder and if it's not the usual 11km away, he must surely be out banging someone else, right? I have a very strong impulse to text him and tell him I can't cope with my feelings, or show up on his doorstep, or fling wild accusations at him.

But I don't. Because that would be stupid and unhealthy. Instead I talk to kind, understanding friends, or go for a walk, or distract myself with one of my hobbies.

Jack: all of us with mental health problems have these wild urges. But we can overcome them. If I can do it, I'm sure you can, too. Please try to stop. You will feel better, I promise.

 

[Melmoo]

New poster here and just been through thread 31 ! I have never laughed so much !

I'm going now, I really have to go, I don't want to be here, me again, can I go now ?!? I am very busy, I don't have time to be here so I am going now..I'm much more busy than all of you and don't have time to post so will come back later, but here I am again..

What a very strange woman she is, portrays herself as a 'victim' throughout her posts but is equally passive aggressive (can find you and knock on your door). It was absolutely brilliant though and you lot crack me up. Thread 31 should be a life lesson sent to all instagramers / 'celebs', NEVER EVER go on tattle and try and justify your bullshit, no matter how hard you try you will come off looking like a c**t..

 

[MooBelle]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I truly believe we have been Gaslighted (Gaslit?!!!)
Unfortunately i have been the victim of Narcissism several times in my life. The short version is My mother, ex partner and ex bff were all narcs and you get a sort of 'spidey sense' for it. (my counsellor says it is ptsd)
The sheer arrogance of JM coming into our safe space and lording over us is ringing so many alarm bells for me. She is (was) asserting authority over us. Letting us know she's here, watching us, omnipresent.
I have no doubt that this was NOTHING to do with @Nonnymouse and her 'libel' but a very well put together attack which has been very much planned out.
She didn't answer any questions, skirted round facts and played the victim card. Total Narc alarm bells.

 

[Silver Linings]

Cheeky bloody madam hinting at EDs when she did the cardinal sin of talking in actual poundage about how much weight she lost and how good she looked. I’m raging.

 

[Penny4Em]

As an ex-fan, I've lurked on Jack's threads for a while, but never posted, and yesterday's was a corker! I believe she occasionally drops onto Mumsnet in a similar fashion too. Her determination to police social media and the internet must be exhausting for her.

I was (once again) going through a phase of feeling quite sorry for her, the Hellmans/Insta thing has been an unmitigated disaster, but then she does it again - drops in and reinforces my opinion that she is an unstable and for me, a really quite unlikeable person. I don't believe 95% of what she posts anywhere - I think she's a master in the art of manipulation, smoke and mirrors, a gaslighting expert.

Her Liam Neeson "what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career" type comment about 'triangulating' IP addresses did have me hooting though.

 

[Aardvark]

I find the reference to ‘cancer cookbooks’ really manipulative. Either she’s genuinely impacted by the pain to the same extent as people who are receiving gruelling treatment for a deadly disease (in which case get yourself to A and E or something and get off Twitter??) - OR she’s saying that to trigger sympathy subliminally by mentioning cancer.

maybe I’m reading too much into it but she’s so calculating I can’t see it any other way

 

[I steal names]

I really don't think this will be an issue.

 

[Harrybosch]

Checked in throughout the day (bloody kids keeping me from the drama!) but didn’t comment as I just didn’t want to engage. I love a bit of sarcasm and PA attitude but there’s a time and place and you have to know your audience. At times she came across as just rude. “Can I go now?” type shit when she was here of her own accord. The whole thing was just extremely odd to be honest and I don’t quite know what if anything has been achieved from it.

I think it's fair to say that nothing was achieved. I did have to laugh out loud quite a few times though AND actually feel less guilty than I have before. She's not nice. I'm sorry she's in some kind of crisis right now, but the truth is, many people are. I don't wish her ill, but when she told me I was entitled and demanding for daring to ask questions after she set up an account here, identified herself and said she wanted to do an AMA - well, let's just say I never wanted her here in the first place.

 

[HarderFaster]

Thread 31 will go down in history.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Anyone want to round up the last 15 pages?

SHAN'T