Jack Monroe #318 I lie - for a living!

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Am I supposed to believe this squiggle has any bleeping intention of making Jack's knock off trifle? Just look up a bleeping trifle recipe for duck's sake. And stop lying to yourself. You're not making a trifle. You couldn't give a tit if she posts the recipe.

"Oh here I am scrolling twitter at five past midnight ... vainly searching for a recipe for a cheap version of the platinum jubilee trifle"

SAID NO-ONE EVER.
 
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I mentioned before that Jack actually influenced me to buy those magnetic spice jars. They came in a set of 12 (other brands are available, but prices are roughly the same):

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Jack has at least 126 of them - could be more as we can't see the edges of the picture.

So. Over 250£ to display spices that, by her own admission, she doesn't even use.
LJC that is absolutely insane. I've wanted these for a while, but it's one of those purchases that isn't really needed so I haven't done it yet. When I do I'll just stick with the 1 set. Someone like Jack who complains about not being able to pay rent... who can just buy all these spice jars and random snake charmer baskets. Nuts. Money to bleeping burn
 
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She is so jealous of the young woman who won the competition.
I bet she entered herself and is now eaten up with spite because the judges didn't recognise the genius of her prune, broken biscuits and Smartprice lard surprise.
 
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I will blow my stack if she does something horrid with the lovely woman's trifle recipe. I've tried, fraus. I have. But JackaMel is an absolute horror.
 
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Custard creams with hot custard is definite pov food from my early years when I was just a little smol three foot nuffin child. I will recreate this dish as a trifle and call it the “Platty Jube Poverty picnic” because I am a republican and I think the queen is like Pete Price 🦎
Half a tin of custard 15p lidl
Three custard creams 5p lidl
Squirt cream 5p lidl

Arrange custard creams in an ashtray lightfitting, cover with custard then spray cream on top. For extra 1978 truther points, if you see Jack, smoosh it in her face like you’re the Phantom Flan Flinger from TISWAS.
 
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What a horrid spiteful little shite Jack is about the trifle winner.

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And am I going mad but is she pricing the ingredients for it in the way she never does for her abominations? She says one tbsp cornflour is 85p, meaning the packet - but in her recipes she would say one tbsp cornflour is 2p or something like that.
bleeping nasty hypocrite.
 
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I think I skipped a few posts but if Jack was on TikTok/Instagram/YouTube or Facebook at all this week , she may have noticed that Morrisons have a budget recipe for the jubilee trifle using custard creams

I can’t work out how to link from tiktok to the video but it’s on the poppycooks account
I'd say she may have plagiarised the idea but I'm not sure Jack has even heard of Morrisons, other than she probably thought that was him from The Smiths when she adopted Smiths fan as a five minute persona.*

*I have no idea if she's ever adopted Smiths fan as a perona, but it seems a Jack thing to do. And a Sali Hughes thing obviously.
 
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I can't get myself worked up over the platinum jubilee trifle being expensive; it's to celebrate one of the richest women in the world, there's a consistency there. And if there's any time to push the boat out on food it's for a special occasion. People who can't afford to make it probably can't afford the time to fanny around either, they'll probably just buy a ready-made trifle for a couple of quid from the supermarket rather than waste time on whatever sloppy horror Jack dreams up.
 
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Am I supposed to believe this squiggle has any bleeping intention of making Jack's knock off trifle? Just look up a bleeping trifle recipe for duck's sake. And stop lying to yourself. You're not making a trifle. You couldn't give a tit if she posts the recipe.

"Oh here I am scrolling twitter at five past midnight ... vainly searching for a recipe for a cheap version of the platinum jubilee trifle"

SAID NO-ONE EVER.
Squig. The recipe is on the bbc good food website and ALL OVER THE INTERNET.
 
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It's late and I'm tired but to go back to the lemon Swiss roll that apparently only posh shops sell. Jack needs to visit Lidl more, their lemon Swiss roll is delicious as is their strawberry and cream one.
 
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Ugh, I hate trifle it's foul. It's just slop on top of slop. The last one she made looked like vomit with sprinkles too. 😭
 
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