Jack Monroe #316 Bizarrely, Jack seems to have misread the research

[Captainmouse]

How about the old classics - cat ate my homework, I left it on the bus, my grandfather is DEAD.

Or my tile is stuck to a train

 

[Onestorytoomany]

This will slop it together and publish it it will bomb, she knows books don't make her money, hence her giving them away now. I don't think they will publish alot. Id say about 200 to start and test the waters. I think they just want her to produce something. I honestly believe that after two years they literally don't care.

 

[Veronicaaa]

What could, in theory, happen if she doesn’t meet this deadline? Also, if she does hand in that absolute mess that looks like a toddlers been cutting up magazines, what’s her publisher going to do/say? As others have said, that does not look like final edits.

She's already missed multiple deadlines, I think the original one was around September 2020? Then there were various others. It does seem like she's in the last chance saloon with this FINAL FINAL FINAL one so it's really up to her publisher what to do. If I were her I would bin it, cut ties, and sue Jack for the advance because she hasn't delivered. But Carole's a complete wash-out so this could still be going on 2 years from now

 

[Yel]

I don't know if this was posted already. I can't believe ONS chaos was just 2 days ago.
Director of IFS calling out the BBC -

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Just what we need, another hero !

So much of the media jumped on the 1 product out of 30 that the highly experimental data collection showed a huge increase in price. Budget pasta has not risen that much (yet), so there's clearly something happened with the data that's skewed it. The BBC is just as bad as the gutter press for misleading and inaccurate stuff.

 

[usefullyuseless]

A while ago she claimed she'd left the finished manuscript at home (didn't upload it or something) and was on the way to have lunch with her agent or publisher. I can't remember. Anyway, maybe she did eventually submit the manuscript and they rejected it, hence this nonsensical home printed, handwritten version at the 11th hour.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Do you think she has a book deal where they have to publish so many books. I can’t see any other reason for this. They obviously can’t be arsed even checking her work or telling her what needs doing or what direction to take.
Looking at that shows once again why she couldn’t do a degree, imagine her final thesis.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Author Frau here: these are not final edits. These are just edits, or even rewrites.
Final edits are what your editor asks you to do with an editorial letter. You do them, possibly one round after too (or more if you aren’t a sharp drafter) and then it’s copyediting (might be some small rewriting again as this is a third set of eyes) then it’s proofreading which someone else will correct then it’s page layout time.
This whole performance makes me wonder about her diagnoses too. There’s no perfectionism here that I might expect with an autism diagnosis or the ability to spot mistakes. I’m trying to come to terms with a likely looking ADHD diagnosis myself, but it’s also made me realise the fact I wrote an almost immediately publishable book that only needed additional chapters at edits stage (which I also wrote first time, no extra editing needed) in FIVE MONTHS was because ADHD means I have something called hyperfocus in something I care about and get obsessed with. Jacks either not able to do this (no ADHD), or she’s swung the other way and gone full executive dysfunction because she does not care about this book and so cannot summon the concentration she needs (does have ADHD) Though if her paltry output requires 120 hours a week then she definitely doesn’t have ADHD, because if I could focus for that long, I would be getting tit done. Except I can’t. Because, you know, ADHD.

Sorry this is punctuated with a bit of merailing, but I think it makes sense?? Argh.

 

[Iwantyoutoknow22]

I am excited, have come across IFS and Paul before and he will not go down without a fight. Know this was from a couple of weeks ago (a lifetime ago in Jacks world!) that she calls out IFS for only just catching up with her, she obviously has no idea of the great work IFS do holding policy to account! Really grinds my *data adjacent* gears

 

[Captainmouse]

If she’s talking about us here, “the obsessive little band of hate-mongerers that desperately want to see me disappear from public life, and conveniently shut up about the sheer scope and disaster of poverty in the UK”, then ugh.

She KNOWS that’s not what we’re about. I don’t think any of us object to poverty being highlighted, but we know that it’s such an important issue, it’s worth doing it well.

If she disappeared we would have no content, why would we want to disband the canal?

 

[his4r2eh]

BRB, just off the the library to print out my unfinished thesis, make all my edits in my five colour ink clicky pen, and bind it with some crappy ribbon before handing it to the pre-eminent academics in my field.
“What do you mean I’ve got major corrections?! I wrote on page 42 noooooo this needs a methodology why did I do a PhD! I’m writing to the Telegraph”

Honestly, the unprofessionalism is off the damn charts. I initially thought she was lucky to have such an indulgent therapist publisher but it’s enabled her and made her worse. My terrifying supervisors have made me a better human in the long run. It’s genuinely sad that people will pay money for this piece of tit book full of untested recipes she’s taken from her website or her half-arsed paid partnerships thinking that they’re doing something worthy because they’re “saving money” or “being thrifty” all while she gets a double or triple payday (website ad revenue > paid partnerships > book advance and royalties). It’s immoral.

I’m currently ploughing through my own final thesis edits and this genuinely cracked me up!
Also going to blame my own editing on my ONS chaos/false alarm. Whoever he works for, he’s an unprofessional, jackophantic arse.

Or my tile is stuck to a train

For return of the fugue state

 

[MsGilmore]

I thought she was writing a book about the DWP and poverty or will it be interspersed with slop recipes and essays about broccoli stalks?!
I can’t work out if she is looking for sympathy or trying to appear like an overachiever. I’m still surprised about how patient the publisher is! I always thought they strict about deadlines! Also thinking of the admin assistant at the publishers who is probably going to have to decipher Jack’s scribble and type that up!

 

[Captainmouse]

When do the crack team of home economists and nutritionists check the recipes?

The brambly mice have given it the once over

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I thought she was writing a book about the DWP and poverty or will it be interspersed with slop recipes and essays about broccoli stalks?!
I can’t work out if she is looking for sympathy or trying to appear like an overachiever. I’m still surprised about how patient the publisher is! I always thought they strict about deadlines! Also thinking of the admin assistant at the publishers who is probably going to have to decipher Jack’s scribble and type that up!

They are. She will be bleeping their schedules right up believe me, and putting pressure on other authors to sub sooner.

 

[NellieBoo]

Bloody hell. I thought I was the Queen of procrastination. Get out of the dark playground, Jack!

 

[Captainmouse]

She is not pulling an all-nighter because she had a day doing the News. She is scrabbling around at the last minute to complete a project that she has had on her to-do list for what, two years now.

She wasn’t doing the news all day, she overslept and missed most of it

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Do you think she has a book deal where they have to publish so many books. I can’t see any other reason for this. They obviously can’t be arsed even checking her work or telling her what needs doing or what direction to take.
Looking at that shows once again why she couldn’t do a degree, imagine her final thesis.

If it's anything like the music industry, as a fairly standard example (and depending on how much clout you have/in demand you are), you would sign a three-album deal. Part of the advance on signing and then draw down the rest on delivery of each new album - or book in Jack's case. I'm sure they've essentially just written her off now though and don't care whether she delivers or not. Can't see them putting much behind the marketing budget either as it's like throwing money down a drain at this point.

I'm sure they're just biding their time until this contract is up. I can't see them resigning her or there being a bidding war between publishers? Would also LOVE to see her sales numbers in full.

And she can't make much in royalties as they're probably still trying to recoup their costs on previous books!

 

[HodgeSplodge]

So this is her final day before the book has to be submitted - and she has only just now realised there is no actual recipe method for this? Just blurb about herself and a list of ingredients?
She is so utterly hopeless and incompetent as a food writer it is beyond a joke.

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Again I'm just catching up with the thread so apologies if this has been mentioned. But, unless I'm mistaken, this is her recipe for the famous 'denatured pineapple cured fish/ceviche'. Aka that recipe for likely food poisoning and waste of food. The recipe above definitely calls for two fillets of mackerel and a tin of pineapple chunks.

 

[Droosie123]

As always she is talking out of her arse. I see poverty everyday and no Jack, they don’t tend to live in nice areas paying £2000+ in rent.
They are elderly, they are disabled, they are a lone parent, they are a family fallen on hard times. They tend not to have wealthy relations able to help either.
I help them with benefit claims, emergency food parcels (occasionally out of my own pocket) , food bank vouchers and time for them to talk.
I don’t get £30k a year in Patreon money for doing this, I earn under £15k a year but I wouldn’t change my job for he world because it makes me feel that however small….I am making a difference to someone’s life.
Over to you Jack, what the feck are YOU doing to help your local community. My guess is “duck all”.

I also find it interesting that none of her flying monkeys dare come over here with their bollocks. Either they don’t know about this site, or they just believe the rubbish Jack tells them.

 

[HodgeSplodge]

How can she have been doing "edits" of this godforsaken book for over an entire year without noticing at least one of her recipes is missing the bleeping method until the night it's due to be handed in?

From zooming in it looks like this is the "mackerel and pineapple ceviche" from the wall of procrastination. Altogether now: THE BROMELAIN IN CANNED PINEAPPLE IS DENATURED.

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So, her hard 7 day deadline's expired and the ouchy mouth/fall down the stairs have clearly been unsuccessful in securing another extension. Unlucky! She's already used the technical issues excuse for this book, too.

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Might need to break out the big guns this time: ball lightning, amnesia, alien abduction?

Serves me right for commenting too soon! You clocked the mackerel pineapple ceviche!

 

[moldwarp]

Luv the bit where she says she didn’t realise she had been kicked out of labour really needs to open her correspondence, in whatever form it arrives.

Yeah I clocked that. This is a new JackFact on me. Why was she booted out the Labour party (if indeed she was?)? Could've been her publically campaigning with the Greens in 2015, that would breach their membership rules. Could also have been her public criticisms of Corbyn, although if that were a bootable offence then half of the shadow cabinet should've been kicked out between 2016 and 2019, tbh.