Why does she do this to the English language? Like a toilet on a raging ocean of love, I sink to the murky depths, down, down where I am beheld by bewitched creatures, their fins aflame with wonder.
Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best
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Why does she do this to the English language? Like a toilet on a raging ocean of love, I sink to the murky depths, down, down where I am beheld by bewitched creatures, their fins aflame with wonder.
Funnily enough, she has all these issues but appears to have very little real medical input to resolve them. They just… disappear. How bizarre.I broke my ankle, had a plaster cast and elbow crutches. I still went to work, did my cooking, washing, shopping etc, such a snowflake.
I think she might have had more medical attention since DKL, than I’ve had in my entire life, and I’m older than her mum,what a snowflake
N'awwwh, we're laughing at you too, Jackie. Just for utterly, incandescently different reasons, ya prune!
I wonder what culinary delight she will scoff in bed tonight. The night the tooth crumbled like a shell it was pot noodle. Last night when she was constantly racked with pain it was a bowl of cheesey potatoes. So tonight when the pain is so bad she is contemplating pliers it will be something nice and chewy like squid rings no doubt.
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/19459246...customid=70b9e46d-0768-43d6-8511-064423ef448c
Don't worry Jack, there's another house here within your budget
- small and cosy. own surfboard included
- catto
- fridge
- toilet/studio space
now duck off x
Don't worry Jack, there's another house here within your budget
- small and cosy. own surfboard included
- catto
- fridge
- toilet/studio space
now duck off x
Oh yes, just like that famous Chris Rock bit where he drones on for hours about putting cloves and coconut oil on toothache until the audience loses the will to live.
Can we add humour to the Jacktionary, because it really doesn't mean whatever she thinks it does.
Jack: I’ve been thinking of turning all my dentistry capers and tweets into a book. Time of the Mouth, or Toof or Lie. What do you think Twitter?
Publisher: Yes, yes please!
Yes, I can't think of anything I'd like to have more in my broken tooth-hole than chunks of cracked black pepper. Cheers Jack 
absolute ledge.
absolute ledge.Probably the rest of the takeaway and prawn crackers left to fester by the TV. (Gross)
Have another house sale Hun x
But I thought she got rejected for the £10 router?
Taking bets now on the next ailment:
Orange knee
Lemon hip
Lime knuckle
Pomelo elbow
Kumquat wrist
Orange knee
Lemon hip
Lime knuckle
Pomelo elbow
Kumquat wrist
Who just said about putting on the Phil Mitchell voice the day before you pull a sickie? It inspired me:
I've had that Kumquat Wrist, it's no laughing matter, must have picked it up in Waitrose.
Cauliflower ear
If it falls out then just whack it in a curry.Yes, I can't think of anything I'd like to have more in my broken tooth-hole than chunks of cracked black pepper. Cheers Jack
She should leave the shards she saved under her pillow. Tooth fairy might leave her a house deposit. Manifest it, Jack!
wtf that freestanding bath squished into the cornerI think this one - lift, security, ~quirky~ interior that would appeal to smol pixies.
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If she's not a cash buyer she's going to be in for a shock with interest rates increasing. She'll need quite the deposit to ring it under her rent (£1500 p/m?)
it really is like jack designed it herself
People who don’t spaff every spare penny on third hand cutlery and spendy sideboards, dear heart!
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