Jack Monroe #310 Stay pressed, fools!

[Nottonightbabe]

View attachment 1282924
Oooofffffff!!!!

Lol! I would send you some cream for that burn Jack, but you're nasty so I shan't.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Her books aren’t best selling. That’s part of the reason she can’t afford to buy a house outright. Her books are shite and people don’t want to read them.

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes!

 

[ednaturnblad]

I don't think there's any chance of her owning property, now or in the future, unless it's gifted to her. She's far too tit with money and just pisses it away as soon as she has it, on her high end goods. She can't budget for tit. If she had a house it'd end up wrecked in no time as she wouldn't keep up with the costs of maintaining it. She'd fill it with Cotswolds while the walls fall down around them

Tbh I don't think it matters if she actually owns or rents. It's the way that she uses renting as 'proof' that she is working class, because obviously no WC people ever buy their home and no MC people ever rent.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

There was a double page feature of Miguel's recipes in this week's "Closer" magazine. They looked great, and came with budgeting tips

About a year ago the same mag had a tiny one off column featuring Jacki, with a del Monte slop recipe. Never asked back or featured again.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

"The stench of reprocessed, processed meat". It's quite the skill to make her 'recipes' even more off-putting than they already are, but she manages it.

 

[jenny2603]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

"...or stuff it up the bum of a chicken"

Shove it up your own arse, Jack.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

Gott in Himmel, that sounds pure rank. But what is not rank are those lovely, crystal-clean nails!

(Also, ‘not a pleasant experience’ yet also ‘a fun one’? Make it make sense!)

 

[FrannyGallops]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

Is that real?! I’ve never seen the word ‘stench’ in a run up to a recipe that humans are supposed to eat. And spreadable spam?! Whhhhyyyyyy?!

Also, ‘it honked but I ate it anyway’.

 

[Cack Conroe]

She was supposedly enrolled in an OU degree in nutrition a few months ago, which appears to have been quietly dropped. I assume they sent over the first piece of work and she was shocked she had to actually study, so stuck it in a lever arch file to deal with ‘later’.

The OU doesn’t offer any nutrition or dietetics degrees

 

[BubbleDuck]

Stolen shamelessly from a Twitter squg. Another sighting of Jack’s highly original “ Eton mess “ joke made 2 years before her protest. By a tory

 

[OkTinkerbell]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

She has the incredible knack of making herself sound like the only ‘chef’ or cook I have ever been aware of who just actually loathes food.

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 1282924
Oooofffffff!!!!

I know it's difficult to imagine, but I feel JackaMel is over exaggerating her 'writings being studied'. One or two short pieces from her blog, then book, were used in an Eng Lang GSCE non fiction and transactional writing paper. Along with several other short pieces. The students had to answer 4 or so questions on it. That's it. It could have been any short non fiction piece. They weren't studying her work in depth for a thesis or anything.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I want to know if Ken Hom is in the WhatsApp group. He was dishing out great advice today on Saturday Kitchen. How to reduce use of cooking oil, adapting recipes to use less cooking time/fuel consumption (he cooked the egg for a dish alongside the veggies in one pan), reducing meat consumption, bulking out smaller portions of meat by adding peas etc to dishes, how it's healthier to eat less meat (he didn't suggest buying better quality meat in smaller amounts but I assume that's a given as he didn't use bollock smart price nosausages in his pork dish). The other chef whose name I forgot, gave some great advice about adding subtle spice and flavour to curry dishes by selecting the appropriate spice!

Yea, I love Ken Hom, my favourite bit was when they realised he was perched up on his seat looking like he was floating.

 

[MeeShellMahBell]

Her books aren’t best selling.

But but but Jack says they are...
And she can't lie cuz autistic..

 

[Amanda Lin]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

Grate your f**king Spam???!!!

Jack WTF? If you must do this (and who would) surely you could go to local butchers for some offal or cheap cuts.

This is so ridiculous

 

[Feck]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

"It's not the greatest job in the world, but just get on with it."
I've never been near a JM recipe book (and I use the term recipe loosely) but that sentence has really offended me. How rude. I've never been offended by recipe instructions before. I don't want to be offended by a recipe. Cooking is meant to be a joyful experience. JM's recipes insult you before you've even tasted the finished result.

 

[Darlingbitgauche]

Grate your f**king Spam???!!!

Jack WTF? If you must do this (and who would) surely you could go to local butchers for some offal or cheap cuts.

This is so ridiculous

Why is she such a fan of grating meat? Why is it a thing?

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Grate your f**king Spam???!!!

Jack WTF? If you must do this (and who would) surely you could go to local butchers for some offal or cheap cuts.

This is so ridiculous

Shame it’s too early for “First Grate Your Spam” as a you know what!

 

[Moon Face]

Isn't it quite risky to stuff a chicken? Or it needs doing/cooking in a specific way that should probably be explained for food safety reasons?

eta I'm genuinely not sure but my mum always said never to do it. Google seems to think you add it before the end of cooking, not into a fully raw chicken?

It takes longer to cook a stuffed chicken, which doesn't seem good advice in terms of fuel costs. I use half a box of 29p stuffing mixture from Aldi and put it in at the same time as cooking my chicken.

 

[NellieBoo]

You mean the people don't need recipes like this? May have posted it before, but I sincerely doubt JO is nicking any of Jack's recipes! View attachment 1282998

Sweet mother of God . Seriously. Why would anyone do this? Particularly if you had children to feed. You'd fry slices of spam, serve it with beans/peas/tinned toms (like old school dinners) and a carb then have the pears for pudding. Not chuck the entire contents of your cupboard or food bank bag into one thing. You want food your kids will actually eat. Ffs. I've never got my head around this part of her 'niche' tbh.