Jack Monroe #302 What in the westborough baptist church is that hair scarf?

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The thing that gives me the rage with this every time I see it is the fake posh timid voice ‘I don’t even know if you like cah-bun-ahra’🫤
Yes it is a puzzle. There was me expecting gobby urchin Jack to say something like "eat the carbonara you slaaaaag!" then try a flog Allegra at a motor she got off some geezer only to be confronted with the worlds poshest mouse.
 
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I'm so excited you asked! Enjoy
Lol at her Kiera Knightly accent too. Less nasally too.





Are her publishers stupid? Ok don’t answer. But we all know that Jack won’t have the patience to grow her hair out….mainly because she’ll want the dopamine hits from Twitter for another face tuned selfie.
 
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I knew before I scrolled down the replies but give me strength, they never learn do they? And lumping her in with Marcus again. 😡

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Lol at her Kiera Knightly accent too. Less nasally too.





Are her publishers stupid? Ok don’t answer. But we all know that Jack won’t have the patience to grow her hair out….mainly because she’ll want the dopamine hits from Twitter for another face tuned selfie.
I have the hair which grows thick and fast, same as Fack seems to have. That stennie disaster she’s clipped in would take me best part of 3 years to grow, it’s curly, remember - if it was straightened it would be down to your bum.
Anyway we all know it’s not going to happen. Who wants to give me odds on a bet for relationship breakup, bad mental or a bluesy phase caused by internet ninnies, which leads to a “buzzed it all off” mysteriously co-inciding with the book launch, rattle rattle, I thank you.
 
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I have the hair which grows thick and fast, same as Fack seems to have. That stennie disaster she’s clipped in would take me best part of 3 years to grow, it’s curly, remember - if it was straightened it would be down to your bum.
Anyway we all know it’s not going to happen. Who wants to give me odds on a bet for relationship breakup, bad mental or a bluesy phase caused by internet ninnies, which leads to a “buzzed it all off” mysteriously co-inciding with the cancelled book launch, rattle rattle, I thank you.
FTFY. 😁
 
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I have the hair which grows thick and fast, same as Fack seems to have. That stennie disaster she’s clipped in would take me best part of 3 years to grow, it’s curly, remember - if it was straightened it would be down to your bum.
Anyway we all know it’s not going to happen. Who wants to give me odds on a bet for relationship breakup, bad mental or a bluesy phase caused by internet ninnies, which leads to a “buzzed it all off” mysteriously co-inciding with the book launch, rattle rattle, I thank you.
I know there is no answer to this really but why does she imagine the publishers need her to have the same hair? Why is anyone buying this nonsense? Why is she so ghastly and stupid?

Harold if you're reading this: DUMP HER.
 
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I don’t understand why they keep saying they’d like Jack to have a massively responsible job for the UK when she so often openly admits she’s disorganized to the point of losing her debit card everyday and is generally up and down so much that she’s very unreliable. I too am unreliable because I have a few mental health problems. I don’t make them my identity though, and I have to be realistic about what my goals are. There’s no way she’d cope with being a local councilor, let alone an MP, or in the squigs’ wildest imagination a cabinet post. Why do people like living in this make-believe world? If you want to change government, get behind extremely capable people like Wes Streeting. If you want to help, call up the people who actually run the food banks and offer your support, rather than just retweeting a fantasist who pretends to give food to food banks. I just can’t cope with reading nonsense like this anymore, that feeds her narcissism and makes her behave even worse. They’re not actually doing her any favors. I know my few posts here aren’t funny and don’t really add much. This place does give me some hope that not all people have lost their tiny minds, and can see what should be the blindingly obvious and for that, I thank you all.
 
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I'm so excited you asked! Enjoy
Thanks!

Jack is gross. Practically telling the world they like fisting.

She sounds even posher than Allegra. Did she think her parents would be watching this?!
 
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Thanks!

Jack is gross. Practically telling the world they like fisting.

She sounds even posher than Allegra. Did she think her parents would be watching this?!
Omg Jack looks absolutely nothing like her photoshopped photos does she! I think she’s took on the role of Allegra in subsequent relationships, notice the arm around Jack. Jack would never now unless she’s being a little pixie who needs saving. With LJC she was definitely the Allegra in it all.
 
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Her lies and delusions probably don't even matter as much (I really wish the Grenfell lies were picked up somewhere high profile) it is her attacking other chefs that will be causing her the biggest problems. People with influence may not respond to these outbursts but they will definitely note them,
I listened to Kitchen Cabinet on Radio 4 yesterday (hosted by Jack's chum Jay Rayner) and Angela Hartnett said the good thing about chefs was 'they always have each other's backs'. It made me think I can't remember other chefs/food writers slagging each other or their food. I know their have been rumoured fallings out (That Man and Gordon Ramsey I think) but nothing public.
I can only imagine Jack's lack of professionalism with her criticising Jamie and other's food does not go down well amongst actual chefs.
She probably thinks this makes her a bit of an outspoken renegade 🙄, instead of just being downright jealous and spiteful.
 
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I listened to Kitchen Cabinet on Radio 4 yesterday (hosted by Jack's chum Jay Rayner) and Angela Hartnett said the good thing about chefs was 'they always have each other's backs'. It made me think I can't remember other chefs/food writers slagging each other or their food. I know their have been rumoured fallings out (That Man and Gordon Ramsey I think) but nothing public.
I can only imagine Jack's lack of professionalism with her criticising Jamie and other's food does not go down well amongst actual chefs.
She probably thinks this makes her a bit of an outspoken renegade 🙄, instead of just being downright jealous and spiteful.
I don't Angela or anyone of her calibre consider Fack a chef though.
 
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Thanks!

Jack is gross. Practically telling the world they like fisting.

She sounds even posher than Allegra. Did she think her parents would be watching this?!
Surely someone with such crippling arthritis cant be going round fisting people? Her wrists must be fucked.
 
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I am REELING at the suggestion of adding cornflour to simulate risotto's starchiness. It will turn to glue; it won't cook out. Honestly, I hope they ban her from Italy.
If ever there was a clear signal that Jack understands nothing about food, this is definitely it, it is so utterly utterly wrong. I hope that Nigella sees this and understands the damage she has enabled.
 
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