Jack Monroe #302 What in the westborough baptist church is that hair scarf?

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title by @heretoreaditall2019 nominated by @jenny2603 your prize is lots of lemons, there's a surplus apparently.

Wiki is the pink button. Thread title suggestions in the latter half of the thread and NO SWEARING in them. We're not allowed.

In the last thread:

She unveiled the crispy early 00s Claire's Accessories stunt hair for her book shoot, complete with hair scarf that makes it look like she's joined a Christian cult.

She has just remembered she's supposed to be a lifelong Liverpool fan.

That's all I can remember, someone else please send recap-os.

 

[LavaFlake]

Sorry I posted these in the last thread but don't want them lost... will just post the main one to avoid spam.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Sorry I posted these in the last thread but don't want them lost... will just post the main one to avoid spam.

View attachment 1257722

THEN - the Green Party and QPR FC

NOW - the Labour Party and Liverpool FC.

(thank you for the new thread TS! title too!)

 

[kachoochoo]

something about the bbc telling her, "you can't say that, we"ll all be exposed as big sugar!"

then she donned her trusty stunt wig to shoot her next book

 

[MistyWindows]

This might be my favourite thread title ever 🤍
My sister (I feel like I mention her more than Cack does her OH) finds the squig ‘boxes are so versatile’ tweet really funny and we were talking about it last night, she sent me this earlier.

Jack is like Freddy bleeping Krueger, only with spoons on her fingers and a stetson.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Recapo:
She still hasn’t paid her taxes
She hasn’t declared the other teemill donatiom
She is a big wool
She claims There is a conspiracy against her at the BBC due to her being too working class or some other nonsense even though they gave her quite a high profile show during lockdown one.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Last thread, Jack moved on from having her imaginary Harold and his Mormon/trad Catholic/Protestant traybake family round for lunch and instead it was LIGHTS OFF because she couldn't sleep before a big day and that makes her extra neurodivergent (insert that Sure, Jan gif). She also tried to say that SB is her alarm clock and we all judged her for it.

She packed eleventy billion demon shirts to her book shoot and had to tell Twitter about it. No one cared. There was lots of inexplicable graaaghing?

She wanged on about risotto being made from any rice; all oils were interchangable; she exposed Big Sugar, yawn. She told everyone she'd made loads of notes on her trip to Venice and then simply did not share them. She complained that the BBC won't employ her for a myraid of reasons, but skirted round the real truth that is she's tit at everything.

@heretoreaditall2019 took one for the team and revealed that she's been drying oranges for three weeks, and proceeded to grate them. She may also have poisoned Mr HTRIA in the process because they might have been waxy.

We found out she's coming to Glasgow and there was a collective howling and gnashing of teeth amongst the Scottish fraus, preparing ourselves for Kumquat in a Kilt.

There was the astonishing crispy wig and the Cult Status Headscarf. Either hair and make up bleeping hated her at the book shoot, or she did it to herself.

She once again pretended that she knows anything about football, and that she's been a Liverpool fan since 1349, actually.

 

[trueblue222]

No chance did she get that blonde hair with lemon juice. I’ve got naturally dark blonde hair although I dye it darker and even I would only get that hair colour at a hairdresser.

She’s an idiot who lies about everything

 

[Jelly Bean]

Sorry I posted these in the last thread but don't want them lost... will just post the main one to avoid spam.

View attachment 1257722

Hilarious
And remember the stuff with the GQ interview with Marcus - about how she knew nothing about football and how inexplicable it was her son loved 'kickyball'. An unusual stance for someone who loved football since a child, and just presumably passed this love on to her own child?
The constant tedious lying is just so utterly wierd.

 

[trueblue222]

No football fan ever calls it kickyball. My brother has been going to games since he was 8 and he has never called it kickyball. She is an attention seeking moron who lies about everything.

She is so tedious and she’s getting worse

 

[JombleWomble]

Jack's responded to the screenshot that outed her as a former QPR fan and Green Party member. Is this a subtle admission that she likes to take on the personality of whoever she's in a relationship with?

Remember when Jack said something about how she doesn't show up to every fight on Twitter? And that other thing she said about always being in bed by 10pm?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

@Griftymcgriftface

And a wee bonus pic.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Still about the QPR thing. How was it an inaccurate tweet??

 

[Cack Conroe]

View attachment 1257777

Jack's responded to the screenshot that outed her as a former QPR fan and Green Party member. Is this a subtle admission that she likes to take on the personality of whoever she's in a relationship with?

Remember when Jack said something about how she doesn't show up to every fight on Twitter? And that other thing she said about always being in bed by 10pm?

Ha she doesn’t get being a football fan AT ALL.

 

[trueblue222]

From a personal perspective I never go to games as a neutral. I went to see Espanyol when I was on holiday in Barcelona and that is it.

No jack sorry. If you support a football club you support your own club

Edited to say I get that some people might go and watch football with their partners but have I ever gone to watch a junior team in my area? No. Because they aren’t my club and I don’t support them

She’s talking complete mince. Like how the hell is watching a team you don’t support a good day out? I’ve worked at football grounds and trust me there is nothing more tedious that having a game of football in your line of view that you have no interest in whatsoever.

 

[Clapster1]

It's never about the filter guys.... NEVER!
It's sunshine and excellent bathroom lights.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Thanks dear heart @People-huv-tae-know xxx

loving my new avatar.

as for her QPR tweets me thinks the mamapapa protests too much!

 

[JombleWomble]

Ha she doesn’t get being a football fan AT ALL.

She really doesn't! She doesn't even seem to have done a basic Google to make sure she doesn't look stupid. How can she claim to have never been prouder to be a Liverpool fan so soon after they won the Champions' League?! I'm not even a Liverpool fan and that's annoyed me!

I'm a Spurs fan and flew to Madrid just to watch the 2019 CL final in a pub because it was such a huge occasion that we felt we had to be there! I know we're extremely privileged to have been able to do that so don't expect Jack to have actually gone, but to not even mention it when she is so chronically online that she live tweets her bowel movements?! Jack was absolutely not a Liverpool fan in 2019!

ETA- being a female football fan is bleeping tedious sometimes because there's a certain type of Football Lad who simply cannot comprehend that a woman likes sport. It's getting better over time but there are still frequent demands for us to prove that we know the offside rule or weird jokes about us just being there to see men in shorts. So Football Jack really winds me up because she's making it harder for genuine female fans to be taken seriously because she is reinforcing the view of us as silly little women who don't even know which team we support. I know it's quite a small harm in the grand scheme of everything she does, but playing up to sexist stereotypes is harmful.

 

[MsGilmore]

‘Glory hunting wool’ is my favourite! Nail on head!

 

[jenny2603]

Hi Jack, I would love to sell a kidney and one of the twins so that I have more money to hurl at your grift.