Jack Monroe #296 Over cooked, under cooked, pumbling free

[Cookiecookie]

There are dinners we all cook where you look at it and think: ‘that’s a masterpiece’ and there are other dinners where they look like crap, taste okay and more importantly, fill a hole.
that fake risotto falls into the latter category and should never have been photographed by someone who makes their living out of cooking.
worse still (for me) is that she got one of those background rolls of paper out, and colour coordinated the bowl with it.
like, you can polish the turd as much as possible; it still looks like tit.View attachment 1227934

I'm still not over the fact she put edamame in a risotto. What the hell?!

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

Her other half must really really like her. That's all I can say,

Because if my OH when we were dating invited me around for terrible food, lights out by ten and listening to podcasts on the regular and for them to spend alot of time and get increasingly wound up on twitter. I don't think I would still be here a decade later.

Thankyou! Now I finally understand how my husband feels about me (except for the terrible food, natch)

 

[Hollaaa]

There are dinners we all cook where you look at it and think: ‘that’s a masterpiece’ and there are other dinners where they look like crap, taste okay and more importantly, fill a hole.
that fake risotto falls into the latter category and should never have been photographed by someone who makes their living out of cooking.
worse still (for me) is that she got one of those background rolls of paper out, and colour coordinated the bowl with it.
like, you can polish the turd as much as possible; it still looks like tit.View attachment 1227934

I don't understand the thought process here at all. If you know the bowl and the background has to be visually appealing, which not extend this concept to the bleeping FOOD?

 

[Veronicaaa]

There are dinners we all cook where you look at it and think: ‘that’s a masterpiece’ and there are other dinners where they look like crap, taste okay and more importantly, fill a hole.
that fake risotto falls into the latter category and should never have been photographed by someone who makes their living out of cooking.
worse still (for me) is that she got one of those background rolls of paper out, and colour coordinated the bowl with it.
like, you can polish the turd as much as possible; it still looks like tit.View attachment 1227934

Also, imagine you started seeing someone who, you know, cooked for a living, and being asked round to their place for dinner and they served you up this crap . You'd be baffled.

 

[Geetbo]

"Apple sauce, which you might have on the side of your roast, if you're that sort of person." Why does Jack make apple sauce consumers sound like the local peeping tom?

To be fair I think adding any kind of texture or flavour to food is a perverse act to Jack.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Also, imagine you started seeing someone who, you know, cooked for a living, and being asked round to their place for dinner and they served you up this crap . You'd be baffled.

I'm risking Candymanning here, don't care, because I don't think Harold exists.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Southend Pier train door failure leaves passengers trapped

Passengers help to prise open the doors of Southend Pier's new train named after Sir David Amess.

www.bbc.co.uk

That you, Cack?

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I'm stuck on the vase, is that a regular feature?! it looks like it's mooning the cookery
View attachment 1227880

That is the Vase Bum Index!

 

[JombleWomble]

I'm currently waiting for them to guess the secret ingredient in Jack's pancakes. I'm having far too much fun

Quoting myself like a total ninny but some reactions to the "Surprise! It's banana peel!" are in:

I'm going to go and do some real work now before this game accidentally becomes my entire personality

 

[Helatruralhome]

Gutted to have missed a watch along yesterday, but added to the gallery. She must have recorded this one first given she's shaking like a hostage victim. Maybe they ditched the filmed clip for last week as it was that bad?

It's still not been added to the Lorraine site

View media item 1282

I really don't get this whole pricing thing as surely for a cooking program listing the weight of the ingredient needed is more important/useful unless they don't actually want you to make the recipes....

 

[HotesTilaire]

Quoting myself like a total ninny but some reactions to the "Surprise! It's banana peel!" are in:

View attachment 1228021
View attachment 1228022

I'm going to go and do some real work now before this game accidentally becomes my entire personality

But this is the best game ever, I do declare!
I see pink hair journo patreon squig is building up to another twitstorm, and I’m here for it.

 

[Ostapbender]

when I find myself in times of trouble, mother tin can comes to me, speaking words of wisdom:
"I'm here to tell you you can replace anything in a recipe"

 

[Lazarus]

I'm still not over the fact she put edamame in a risotto. What the hell?!

It’s definitely not risotto rice either. And in her earlier tweet yesterday it was cheese and broccoli risotto with extra cheese and butter to make her feel better.
What was actually presented to HALF A MILLION PEOPLE was rice, celery, onion, pesto, frozen edamame, frozen spinach, chicken stock, broccoli stocks and eyelid sausages.

 

[Elastoblast]

I don't know about the rest of you ninnies but I am waiting with bated breath for a health update from the little Pixie. Yesterday was infected lymph glands (as opposed to enlarged lymph glands doing their work to fight infection), what could be the latest development apart from the acute mentionitis she's had recently.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Game continues…

What broccoli risotto is meant to look like:

What Jack produced:

 

[Ostapbender]

I don't know about the rest of you ninnies but I am waiting with bated breath for a health update from the little Pixie. Yesterday was infected lymph glands (as opposed to enlarged lymph glands doing their work to fight infection), what could be the latest development apart from the acute mentionitis she's had recently.

will or won't she go shopping? we need answers

 

[Elastoblast]

will or won't she go shopping? we need answers

Well it's nearly two weeks since she braved the hike to Asda. She must be nearly out of tit sausages and broccoli stalks by now

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Guten tag frauen!

I’ve been lurking from the beginning pretty much… drawn in on another thread and then stayed for Jack Monroe.

I’m neither poor or much of a cook (am I Jack?) it’s mostly the comedy of the canal that keeps me here.

On many occasions, I’ve been close to leaving my dark, lurkers cave, drawn out by the hilarity of (in no particular order) the kumquat salon, DKL, Go Henry, Novak Nail, Shimmery Black Eye, Vintage Spoons, The Chairs, the brave fraus who have followed a recipe with the most hilarious commentary and results (mince pie sandwich anyone?), the wonderful poetry (Why you sad? Geography bad), The Vaginal Boils Index, Pet Slop Bots Landslide (thankspaceyou) The Onion Police...

I could go on, the laughs have been endless.

However lads, today is the day... I finally cracked.

The Power of the Pumble has overcome me.

I’m also eagerly awaiting thread 300. I’m sure the Cable will have something spectacular planned and I’m (finally) here for it.

This is without doubt, the funniest place on the internet.
Now duck off!

Thanks for posting! Hmm, she seems somewhat rounded of tum…… Nah, I’m probs just imagining things. I’m a bit mad, me. Pay me no mind!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack wore the same cardigan on Lorraine in January. It must be her special Lorraine cardi.

January 2022.

April 2022

 

[Lazarus]

Well it's nearly two weeks since she braved the hike to Asda. She must be nearly out of tit sausages and broccoli stalks by now

I buy broccoli all the time, it is one of my favourite vegetables. When I buy it loose, I break off most of the stock and take only the part I need. I’m paying by weight and don’t use the stock so…