Jack Monroe #296 Over cooked, under cooked, pumbling free

[People-huv-tae-know]

Well...I am a bit worried for you, but each to their own.

Also, was going to say that Harold got eaten by the Pumble between Georgia and Georgia, but another frau got there first.

Questions of the thread:
Will Space Squig's Not-IED reach its destination?
Will Jack's deliriously infected lymph glands prompt her to see a doctor? Or will the infection spread, like an unruly labia, until she is as green and gloopy as her meals?
Will the Broadband bills get paid?
Will the angry Patreon people lead the Squigs' rebellion?
Will we be forced to call Ghost Pumblebusters?
Will OH's identity finally be revealed?

Canal inspo is strong tonight.

 

[StatusWoe]

You have been well and truly pumbled. I pity you. Its like Invasion of the bodysnatchers, only with pumbles.
This thread is fast becoming Jack Monroe: The illustrated edition.
View attachment 1227198
View attachment 1227200

The head emerging from the pumble!


Is there any rule against posting stuff from another thread? I'll put it in a spoiler just in case, but it is somewhat relevant to Jack Monroe.

Spoiler: Bad Food

On the Ruby Granger thread, Tattlers were horrified to see that she put frozen peas into her porridge (again). It reminded me of a Monroe 'recipe'.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

There’s an inexplicable head in that! I’m calling the Onion police.

The head emerging from the pumble!


Is there any rule against posting stuff from another thread? I'll put it in a spoiler just in case, but it is somewhat relevant to Jack Monroe.

Spoiler: Bad Food

On the Ruby Granger thread, Tattlers were horrified to see that she put frozen peas into her porridge (again). It reminded me of a Monroe 'recipe'.

View attachment 1227229

Omg even the bowl is on point

 

[StatusWoe]

View attachment 1227230


Omg even the bowl is on point

Lol! I'm impressed with your images. I can't choose a favourite.

And yes, the bowl is very appropriate for the gruel that's being served, though tbf the breakfast didn't look that bad until the frozen peas were added. I'm not sure Oliver would want any more of that.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

I've just realised, I made that chocolate cake meatloaf looking thing she did on Lorraine. It wasn't good. View attachment 1227179

She never misses a trick.

 

[Cookiecookie]

She never misses a trick.

I know. She was with LJC then too. Goodness knows what I was thinking to still be buying her shite books. That's the only thing I ever made out of that one.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

You have been well and truly pumbled. I pity you. Its like Invasion of the bodysnatchers, only with pumbles.
This thread is fast becoming Jack Monroe: The illustrated edition.
View attachment 1227198
View attachment 1227200

This is truly, truly a work of art. I mean, I didn’t think you could surpass Pumble DKL, but this….

MWAAAAAH, fabulous dahling

I’d rather be the Pumble than her gruel
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would

I’d much be THAT MAN than that fule
Yes, I would
If I could
I surely would

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

REVEALED the contents of the box

 

[Wooh]

See, I thought this meant, "ah, by the, I've finished a podcast..." and that's the story of why no one ever asks Jack

 

[Captainmouse]

The head emerging from the pumble!


Is there any rule against posting stuff from another thread? I'll put it in a spoiler just in case, but it is somewhat relevant to Jack Monroe.

Spoiler: Bad Food

On the Ruby Granger thread, Tattlers were horrified to see that she put frozen peas into her porridge (again). It reminded me of a Monroe 'recipe'.

View attachment 1227229

Where’s the porridge? And how has she managed to steal mackies bowl? Also her ingredients are identifiable =not jack

 

[Hollaaa]

Hmmm, threw the router in the bin, or was it a case of the contract LEFT with chief bill-payer LJC?

 

[Boyo]

Lads! I’ve found the first Pumble. It was a prehistoric banger known as a Pumblecephalosaurus. Isn’t he magnificent.

Now this is just an artist’s impression obviously. A fossil hunter found the first remains in the vicinity of the head of the Missouri River in the 1800s and, as you can see below, only the Pumble has survived intact. 🫢

 

[Whaa?]

I wondered if the person who keeps asking if she got her package has sent her something he sells, and this is the reason he is so keen for her to video herself opening it and has suggested she share that on social media. I find it really odd he has done that once never mind more than once.

 

[welcomespins]

I wondered if the person who keeps asking if she got her package has sent her something he sells, and this is the reason he is so keen for her to video herself opening it and has suggested she share that on social media. I find it really odd he has done that once never mind more than once.

I’m imagining some kind of absolutely hideous hand painted wine glass including wonky LFC insignia, that as a parent you’d have to display proudly if your child did it at an arts and crafts event
ETA: agree the persistence of the squig is weird but I think it just shows how Twitter is a different world, where ‘civilians’ can converse with their ahem ‘celebrity heroes’. This one obviously believes they’re friends of some kind…..

 

[humpty.]

I wondered if the person who keeps asking if she got her package has sent her something he sells, and this is the reason he is so keen for her to video herself opening it and has suggested she share that on social media. I find it really odd he has done that once never mind more than once.

He needs to let it go, there’s no way she’s going to film herself, her public demand filters

 

[FlashBoof]

One of my great amusements of social media in general is the way stupid people talk to famous people like you would a mate on the street. Jack is in the minority in that she cultivates and replies to it, for her special form of grift but you can see it on any public figures “replies” across all platforms. Many really believe their hero’s are browsing the comments and nodding sagely to Janice and her proclamation of support… or in agreement that yes, the weather is bad, or that they are pleased you have just sat down with a cuppa and put the news on or some other inane shite.

With half a million followers, and the way Jack both latches on to trending subjects, as well as liking and replying to squigs, I am astonished the number of Vampire squigs/Space squigs etc is as low as it is. She is quite lucky in that regard. It could be a lot worse.

 

[Powershower]

See, I thought this meant, "ah, by the, I've finished a podcast..." and that's the story of why no one ever asks Jack
View attachment 1227350

As on time as ever, S Town only came out in 2017. She thinks she’s so edgy saying tit town when that’s not even the name of it.

 

[Veronicaaa]

 

[Geetbo]

This might be my favourite thread title ever.

 

[Mr Krabs]

See, I thought this meant, "ah, by the, I've finished a podcast..." and that's the story of why no one ever asks Jack
View attachment 1227350

Let me guess, every podcast recommendation is met with “yeah completed it mate. Listened to all 1,000 episodes the other week.”