Jack Monroe #296 Over cooked, under cooked, pumbling free

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People-huv-tae-know

br2491 said:
Didn’t she say she threw her router in the bin, companies usually send a paid envelope/bag type thing for it to be returned. Or you can arrange courier collection.
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Yes that's right, routers can be recycled so she should absolutely have returned it but Jack doesn't give a bagged up shit about the environment.
 
Reactions: 53

Jelly Bean

Yes I imagine it is a thoughtful gift he is excited for her to see. He sounds just a bit gauche darling. I'm in two minds over this one. His insistence she videos herself unboxing it is a bit . But harmless.
 
Reactions: 47

Shawads

Space squig is the new fish squig from days of yore.
Prior to that it was trolley squig
 
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D

Dulux

Jelly Bean said:
Yes I imagine it is a thoughtful gift he is excited for her to see. He sounds just a bit gauche darling. I'm in two minds over this one. His insistence she videos herself unboxing it is a bit . But harmless.
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Iqbal's revenge?
 
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Reactions: 45

Marmalade Atkins

br2491 said:
Didn’t she say she threw her router in the bin, companies usually send a paid envelope/bag type thing for it to be returned. Or you can arrange courier collection.
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She did.


The same day she told everyone she turns everything off at 10 pm.
 
Reactions: 68

Ostapbender

I'm imagining it'll be a painting of Jack and spaceman, similar to father stone's masterpiece
 
Reactions: 58

JombleWomble

Oh no, someone on the celeb gossip thread already besmirched the name of my womble friends by bringing them into a discussion about Miriam Margolyes's antics. Now they've had their theme song snatched by the pumble. Run wombles, take cover before Harold drives across the common in his famous Big Car!

I jest, of course. Loving the thread title. The pumble puns have had me laughing all day. I would contribute a few of my own but I'm TIRED from my 100 hours of work shit at puns.
 
Reactions: 27

Falkor

Another throwback for middle-aged Fraus, and Gods knows why I have this stuck in my head, but

Way down deep in the middle of the bungalow,
Our Jackie took some pastry and some meat and some crumble,
She stuck it with the others and she danced a ballet tango,
And Cooper said, 'I know...we'll call it Um Pumble.'
 
Reactions: 76

SlopAmbsase

I know we’re all having disgusting fun with the Pumble at the moment, but earlier this evening I remembered the time Jack got in a strop with us for calling Cooper overweight and it made me .

The end of Pumble is going to be when Coops eats it, the fat bastard.

Disclaimer; I am a vegan and love all animals, even chubby malevolent ones.
 
Reactions: 65

PoorPatrol

Scenes upstairs at the shitty bungalow, when Everyone’s a Tattler Conspiracy Jack comes out to play:

Harold: come to bed, Jack darling, let’s have a fumble ()
Jack: The fuck did you just say to me?? Did you say Pumble?? You’re one of them aren’t you? Haunting me with their Pumble songs and Pumble puns, you’re part of it, I know you are!! I’m deliriously happy, toot toot!
Harold: Jackie, love, are you malfunctioning?
Jack: No babes, but there’s something you should know. There’s a nefarious cable of mithering ninnies who won’t be happy until I’m DEAD! They take screenshots of my fiercely private Tweets and everything
Harold: screenshots, you say?
jackie:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

https://giphy.com/VFr04OJiqNMA1CRnfW
 
Reactions: 38

Cookiecookie

I've just realised, I made that chocolate cake meatloaf looking thing she did on Lorraine. It wasn't good.
 
Reactions: 51

holliebollie

I’ve learned a lot on these many, MANY JM threads. One thing I’ve learned tonight is that the song lyrics to La Bamba aren’t: ‘A la la la la la bamba, a la la la la la bamba (insert Spanish here)’. I’m shocked. Honestly. My only Pumble take is that other Spanish song, ‘Pumblelayahhhh, pumblelayaaaaah… *taps the sign again for ‘Spanish lyrics’*

I read the ingredients for that ‘meal’ (reminds me of the scrapings of a secondary school toilet ceiling, IYKYK), but it wasn’t until you all wrote ‘risotto’ that I even guessed that was what it was meant to be. I had bread slices, butter, egg, mayonnaise and pepper earlier, aka an egg sandwich. Twat.
 
Reactions: 53

StatusWoe

BubbleDuck said:
Is it wrong that my lust love for Sir Matt still burns strong even when he has a Pumble head ? I mean, he may part evil pudding, but he’s still got those forearms and cheeky smile
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Well...I am a bit worried for you, but each to their own.

Also, was going to say that Harold got eaten by the Pumble between Georgia and Georgia, but another frau got there first.

Questions of the thread:
Will Space Squig's Not-IED reach its destination?
Will Jack's deliriously infected lymph glands prompt her to see a doctor? Or will the infection spread, like an unruly labia, until she is as green and gloopy as her meals?
Will the Broadband bills get paid?
Will the angry Patreon people lead the Squigs' rebellion?
Will we be forced to call Ghost Pumblebusters?
Will OH's identity finally be revealed?
 
Reactions: 28

People-huv-tae-know

BubbleDuck said:
Is it wrong that my lust love for Sir Matt still burns strong even when he has a Pumble head ? I mean, he may part evil pudding, but he’s still got those forearms and cheeky smile
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You have been well and truly pumbled. I pity you. Its like Invasion of the bodysnatchers, only with pumbles.
This thread is fast becoming Jack Monroe: The illustrated edition.

 
Reactions: 52
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