Jack Monroe #288 Only a psychopath separates a bunch of bananas for a photograph.

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Ah, that traditional Northern Irish Protestant tradition for Easter Sunday. Get up, wrap the mini eggs in tinfoil hide the toaster in the cupboard and rip into a Catholic.

Full of the joys of celebration, so she is.

It won't be in her preferred big book (most likely a children's one), but if we're bandying around Scripture, how about

'Beware then of useless grumbling,
and keep your tongue from slander;
because no secret word is without result,[a]
and a lying mouth destroys the soul. ' ?

'Hide the toaster in the cupboard..'
That's done me!
Toaster on the side here!

 

[Pavlova]

I'm grunking so apologies if this lands in the middle of another appalling chaos/pensioner pile-on, but basically all her food reminds me of the photos of infected wounds we have pinned inside the clinical room store cupboards at work.

My first of the day - ha ha ha.
Happy Easter lovely ninnies x

 

[Candytuft]

I understand what you’re saying but not sure I agree, she uses Twitter to keep up the poverty cosplay and remind them she’s “in need” and that’s why her Patreon subscribers stay, I think. I’m not sure that they get the stuff they’re ostensibly paying for (can’t recall what it is exactly but I think recipes, postcards, pics) with the regularity that they should.

To those saying she should leave Twitter: she can’t. She’s not only addicted to it but I also think it’s become the core of her constructed identity (since TV and radio Jack is drastically different from Twitter Jack). And now more than ever, she has to keep an eye on what all these brand new critics are saying about her.

a certain poetic justice, I guess. Live by the sword…etc

I agree with you as well. I know what you mean. It’s difficult to say sometimes. I stand by my my thoughts that she will have a good income for as long as the patrons have an active account. The thing is is that it’s not enough. Nothing ever is.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Was scrolling through tik tok and here’s Kim K talking about being a 98% vegan. Has Jack made her first tik tok yet?

 

[BubbleDuck]

So know Jack has been criticised for attacking a practicing Christian ( who also happens to be a cockwomble ) on a major day of observation , they are leaning into their religious faith and Sunday school ( was she the accounts colleague or successor?) background . hmmm sure that’s just a coincidence

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Where is she getting her facts from. He was not alone before he died he was on trial in front off crowds, he was maybe alone for a couple of hours in his cell but not 72 hours. Crikey !

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I really hope that you are right, Lanie.
I've not commented much recently but Jack seems to be in some sort of a manic phase, obsessively on Twitter despite claiming to be living her best life ever, toot toot! She's obviously not managing to complete any of her promised books and is flailing around trying to insert herself into the most pointless arguments for no reason
I wouldn't put it past her to consider a new baby to be 'content'.

Oh I am fine, thanks. These are not recent concerns, we have had them for a few years. I am quite content now with the knowledge. I am just sayin that it's easy to say I would have another but you need to actually think before you do.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

I don’t want to keep the Cable in suspense, so let me just tell you this is as far as I got. The banana was too ripe and mushy so when I pressed it down the inside tried to escape which I did not like. Immediately after this, I was interrupted by a couple asking for directions - from a woman trying to stick a bursting banana to the back window of her car.

Never fear though fellow fraus, for I am unbowed by this ripeness/consistency setback and will return another day with fresher fruit
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Actual LOLZ

 

[KebabGirl]

If the oft mentioned but never asked about OH is male, do we think she'll monetise the fact with a nice Guardian article? We had trans Jack and alcoholic Jack, I can see bisexual Jack coming out to earn some...

Absolutely x

I am laughing as I've spotted it isn't any old friend, it's his BEST friend.

 

[trueblue222]

Ok, I like it, Picasso.

This has completely ended me .

 

[Captainmouse]

Post 10, scroll down to see the gifted fish in their expensive jackets

Jack Monroe #214 Obviously not quite such a big name in Southend

Nom by @Sideboard Bob Words by @Falkor

tattle.life

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 1200564

I can’t see the labels that say jack's taxes, charity money

 

[trueblue222]

It depends what OH identifies as. Unfortunately, I think she'll adjust to suit OHs preferred coupling label.

ETA Gender identity and sexuality are separate although intertwined in many ways.

And you have not come across badly. You are essentially asking a question.

Thank you. Perhaps because so much of her identity does centre around being lesbian and trans/non binary she won’t want to say if she’s dating a man. Tbh. I don’t care who she dates.

Her life etc. However. How is she going to deal with it when she gets engaged? Like. She gets engaged. She tells twitter. The press pick up on it. So at some point her OH will end up in the press unless this time she does keep their identity secret.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I’m still trying to imagine her face when her paying B and B guests ask for the breakfast, dinner and packed lunches she promised them!

“I’m BUSY!”
“It’s cooking bacon or nothing at all”
“What do you mean have I rinsed the beans? Of course I have”
“You’re not going to stop until I’m carried away in a coffin made of spoons. I try and help people and all they do is mither on about lunch. Nobody gives me a second thought. Did I tell you I have arthritis?”

I get guest house paradiso vibes. The rotting nuclear fish that makes everyone sick,

" Mrs twat" is all fits.

 

[Elastoblast]

Actually Vlad, the scam occurs when people offer Jack money

 

[Itchy of Itchington]

sorry if I'm mithering, but aren't most fentimans products slightly alcoholic. like, as much as shandy or kombucha is? they're all described as being brewed or fermented?

anyway, just went to check and, ugh, the horrible misuse of punctuation on the fentimans site's making my teeth itch

View attachment 1199756

It has a low ABV yes, less than 0.5% which I seem to remember got it banned for children in part of the USA. Orange juice can have a similar abv potentially. I don't know any people in AA so not sure what the stance would be on Fentimans etc but if she/they won't drink Kombucha then it should be a no to fentimans as well.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Well according to things I have read the speculate last supper was on a wed and he got betrayed just after that and put on trial and died Friday, then rose Sunday so in all that time he was not alone for 72 hours. I like potential facts!

Exactly! Also he’s not real (sorry religious ppl and rev)

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I just got virtual whiplash on my grunk she's gone from one extreme to another so quickly.

It's not normal - and I'm seriously wondering whether any of it (including cooking for these people) is true or if she's descended finally into a complete and utter fantasy world.

Who knows?

I spend too much time thinking about it, get too invested and say things I maybe shouldn’t.

 

[Clapster1]

Quick question thank may have been answered but missed by my frazzled brain...... when was Queer added to the bio? I'm sure it didn't used to be there?

 

[Cookiecookie]

I always just assumed a guest house was another name for a b&b. I had no idea people stayed there full time.

I think there was two types. One that just took your regular holiday makers, and others that took on a more long term basis. I don't know the legalities of it, my lot just took the tourist crowd