ASK HER ABOUT THE TOXINS, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ASK HER ABOUT THE TOXINS.
Jack Monroe #282 Cumin: 2p, onions: 8p, fingernail dirt: priceless
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Don't be a moron. Do the pasta as absorbtion - boil a kettle (cheapest), put into pan, put on lid, bring straight back to the boil, add pasta, bring back to the boil, take off heat with the lid on for ten minutes, do the slop shite and bring up to heat (takes no time at all due to it all being tinned/precooked), drain cooked pasta and stir through. Result: stuff that still tastes like crap, but only costs 2-3 minutes of gas/electric rather than 15-20 and isn't the consistency of wallpaper paste.
Or even better, do the pasta whilst you fry up sliced sausage, thick cut onion, some sliced cabbage and some Caraway seeds (add a splash of water to help it steam at the point of adding the cabbage - there's plenty of salt in the sausage - and put the lid on to help it steam with that and the moisture from the onions). When it's done, put on a plate with the pasta.
Then use the chickpeas to make a separate meal for the next day rather than wasting them.
Exhausted Jack is bloody exhausting. Yet how is she exhausted? It's obvious that this is the time of day she gets up! I'm halfway through the day already, whizzing through jobs so I can sit down this afternoon with a coffee and see what shite she's come out with today 
Falls out of bed at lunchtime and she’s exhausted
sb sorted his own breakfast/ lunch, fed the cat etc?
They are all under her nails
In keeping with her usual attitude - yeah, but it's £3.30 to catch the bus to ASDA (and Tesco's, Sainsbury's, Morrison's and LIDL/ALDI). The local versions don't do the cheapy loss leader products.
But I don't have an ASDA near me Jack.
There's Tesco, Sainsbury's, ALDI and LIDL, but you don't use them, so I suppose I don't matter.
Me too, the poor woman must be embarrassed enough at being associated with that shitshow, without her bringing it up. Poor old Jack, she's so desperate to seem impressive "look, look I used to live with an important person. I wasn't always a hoop rinsing Harold pumper".
Actual snorted at that!
'I coulda bin a contender'
Toooooo early!
So tired of Jack wheeling out adhd when she needs attention. I have inattentive ADD and I have worked my ass off to cope without meds. Ive held a job down full time and I manage money. She just relies on handouts as usual. And she is so blind to realising how privileged she actually is.
Yes, sending a tweet is exhausting eh Jack? Not like working in the mines or anything?
I think she‘s salty over Harold’s lovely big car. Hasn’t been mentioned since Croydon has it?
I think she‘s salty over Harold’s lovely big car. Hasn’t been mentioned since Croydon has it?
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Why is she exhausted? She’s done bloody nowt except tweet.
Luckily for LJC' Jack has a proven track record for being a liar and fantasist. All she needs to say is no such conversation . You know what she's like.
"hoop rinsing Harold pumper"!! Yet again I'm laughing n the office
Yesterday LJC was “a senior body” that she used to live with. She does like her senior body OHs, that one.
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Harold has decided to go and visit his sister Margaret in Bristol and Jack is all put out because Harold felt it was too soon to invite her along, "our Margaret is very set in her ways Jack". Jack has thrown an enormous tantrum and accused Harold of being ashamed of her for being a poor.
While Harold is away there will be a Jaccident, which is intended to make him feel guilty. This will work because Harold is too nice for his own good as Margaret will tell you.
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