Jack Monroe #282 Cumin: 2p, onions: 8p, fingernail dirt: priceless

[Thank(space)you]

So she HAS an accountant then .... But between them there is absolutely no will to keep on top of her accounts.

I thought her accountant was a Sunday school teacher?

 

[Vanelope]

Any learned fraus and herrs - with her non payment of tax, should she have qualified for furlough payments?

Not that I believe she even had an employee back then.

I don’t think she should have qualified for furlough because she was still getting work and Caroline could work at home. But that’s a different point…

 

['EllsBells]

Given that Jackanory has all these states conditions / ailments should even be in public life? I would have thought stress and exhaustion has to be avoided. Oh dear, sorry my bad. Poor little smol pixie is endangering her own health to crusade for The Poors. Dear Blue Ticker Kween.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Can we have a tax based theme new thread title? I am no good with words but surely it needs to be something that can sign post people here? A quote from her deleted tweet or something?

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Oh Jack, your woe is me won’t stop HMRC.

TD is forever a hero. I wonder if this heralds another incoming chaos.

 

[Silver Linings]

Can we have a tax based theme new thread title? I am no good with words but surely it needs to be something that can sign post people here? A quote from her deleted tweet or something?

Next title is tax based, i’ll do it in a mo.

 

[Vanelope]

So two years of accounts late. Potentially two late company tax returns, two incorrect or incomplete personal tax returns. Penalties, surcharges for all.
I think her fines could get up to the 5k mark without even paying the tax. That’s worth it for HMRC to have a go.
Oops

 

[Ninch55]

Next title is tax based, i’ll do it in a mo.

View attachment 1182266

I’ve got a big autistic brain and I’m mesmerised by the horror that’s on the plate.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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Fish? Genuinely thought it was dry chicken shawarma

 

[Silver Linings]

New thread

Jack Monroe #283 Tax Jack, tax Jack, needs to start paying back

Title by @Ostapbender Nominated by returning champion @Brian Butterfield Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please, mystical sky daddy is watching. Wiki is the pink button for newbies.

tattle.life

 

[Captainmouse]

That’s a new worktop!

Probably one of the gazillion rolls of whatever she uses as backdrop

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Dear Jack,

I’ve thought about how I can help my least favourite smol pixie with my SKILLS (which are more valuable than grift casho). I’ve designed you a special mail merge template tweet which you can use to save oceans of your valuable time, hopefully enabling you to cut down your working week from 100 hours to less than ten, enabling you to get some rest.

PS this is my gift to you, so you can still say you’re doing it all by yourself

————————————————————-
Template tweet

I <<Did/Did not>> <<insert MERGE FIELD ONE here>> because <<insert MERGE FIELD TWO here>>
————————————————————
Here are some merge fields here to start you off; I’m sure fellow Fraus will add more for you, and you’re always welcome to deploy more

MERGE FIELD ONE
Pay my taxes
Start/finish the VBI
Finish my book
Pay my rent
Disclose or pay the rest of the Teemill monies
Cause an internet pile-on of <<insert additional merge field>>
Exploit people whose income is far lower than mine
Exaggerate my pov story/foodbank use
Usurp the place of someone far more knowledgeable than I to spout ill informed nonsense in print or on TV
Shut down any sort of dissent on my social media
Make everything all about me
Lie
Laugh up a lung
Buy more hats
Post a promised recipe


MERGE FIELD TWO
Puppy brain
crappy bungalow
Autism
PTSD
No forever home
Ouchy mouth
ADHD
Arthritis
Single parent
Former foodbank user
Feral children in my childhood home
Moved 25 times
SHE LEFT
Depression
My grandfather’s DEAD
I can’t swim
CPTSD
I can’t drive
Too many teeth
Recovering alcoholic
HELPING THE POORS
Stock cubes and Paxo
Everyone clapped
I RENT
34 pounds in bank
OH
fighting this fight for ten years
Accidental confronter of fears
Doing it ALL BY MYSELF
Living on crisps
Exhausted
Rent is 94% of my wage
Fell under a train
Other supermarkets are TOO FAR

 

[Lazarus]

I'm going to need a full DNA profile to prove that was at one point fish because that cannot be fish. I don't think it's even fish-adjacent.

It might not have come out of the sea, but it can get in the bleeping sea. It looks like slurry.

I thought her accountant was a Sunday school teacher?

The accountant is relying on HMRC to apply the Lords Prayer to Jack’s tax bill:
Forgive us our debts