Jack Monroe #271 David Cameron does far more charity work than Jack Monroe

[BlendedSlop]

Can "Literally cannot tell the truth" please be the next thread title?

She's high on the smell of her own farts tonight, isn't she? And if she's threatening to stand as an MP again...lol. Actually, bring it on. On the off-chance she doesn't take to her stinking pit with burnout after the first day of campaigning, this will get even more eyes on her, and more people looking into her background. There's nothing people enjoy more than seeing a corrupt politician brought down - she might finally get that Daily Mail article she's been fishing for!

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

I missed the live flauntathon but, oh my, does someone need a glass of warm milk and a lie down! Obviously feeling a little spikey after being petted at parliament. This is all rather tedious. Same old routine - I did a brilliant thing, haters are attacking me and a good slug of transference “ They’re always so desperately, transparently, begging for attention.”
You’re not the only person to ever speak to MPs. Humblebragging to get your ego stroked is quite crass. Get back to us when you’ve actually achieved something rather than just rehashing the same old stories.

Don't tag people to get pile ons. Then it isn't little ol' you, it's 476.3K followers. Not cool.
But of course...

ETA
Ah thanks luv, the black is back (well, trousers at least).

 

[Captainmouse]

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She’s trawling his replies! (As was I).

How do we know when mackie is lying?
her mouth is moving! It’s like breathing to her
I mean she's there under false pretences, for a start

 

[lilamay]

Jack, less than a month ago, discussing her lanyard for keeping her keys safe:
It holds a few cards, and I tuck it under my T-shirt, I’m quite funny about things around my neck but this is light enough and comfy enough to be fine, while hefty enough to be obviously missing if I’ve not got it with me!

Jack, now: turtle neck top and necklace.
plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

This actually really grates my mushrooms, fraus. As a genuine autistic person with heightened sensitivity, I would never be able to wear a turtle neck jumper or necklace like that. She has no idea of what it's actually like, how distressing it is, and pretending she does is downright offensive.

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She’s trawling his replies! (As was I).

I just hate how she tries to use autism to get away with things. She pulls out the autism card purely to serve her own purposes.

 

[Captainmouse]

I think that’s a Monday night chaos three weeks in a row now.

But isn’t Monday ‘meeting' night?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Well, I'm all caught up, and my hole may never unfurl itself again.

 

[Captainmouse]

You are a pretty rubbish campaigner Jack. There's no shortage of evidence of that but tweeting defensively about speaking to MPs representing the party in government exemplifies it more than anything. Away and sit in your skip you ridiculous Guardian avatar.

#thread title Away and sit in your skip you ridiculous Guardian avatar.

 

[hollowhusk]

I’m thrilled to say I hadn’t either. I then inflicted more sphincter puckering mortification upon myself by watching her make a “casserole” containing the cheapest bollock sausages she could find (which she says it’s best not to think too much about), rinsed beans (cheaper) and gravy granules (for meaty flavour)- oh and I “learned” from her that if you don’t have any herbs in your house, you can just use dried Paco stuffing mix instead. I cannot understand why she seems to want to suck any and all possible nutrition out of her “cooking”, OR how and why she thinks of herself as a “presenter”

I must admit I enjoyed this tit being inflicted upon Pippy Schofield though!



ETA wait, is THIS the reason she’s experienced so many “burglaries”?! She is her OWN BURGLAR! The rest of us just call it “moving stuff around” Jack you fuckwit
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I love the way she sneers at the 5p sausages the whole way through the piece, first telling the hosts not to ask questions about them (presumably the ethics of the midle classes eating them) and then adding gravy because they lack taste. I bet that feels amazing for the people out there who are eating those sausages because they fill a hole in their kid's belly.

It is also not the smart price sausages she is using in the recipe, they look completely different. They are a completely different shape and size to the ones to the ones she is using there.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Sorry to be all “booots! spoooons!”, but, BOOOOTS?

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Are they made from horses?

 

[hollowhusk]

She can have our mangy village ones. In the winter, they come in your garden, rip open the bags. Last December, they tit on my doorstep, which froze, and I nearly broke my neck skidding down the path on frozen sheep poo ballbearings! like some mothers do ave em without the bus...

Try having a cow field behind your house. Roughly once a year they make a break for it. The most fun is when they don't just get into a garden but get into the street.

When the farmer comes and gets them he normally has to take them up the stairs in someone's garden, take the fence down and let them back into the field that way.

Fun bit of trivia for the day: cows can walk upstairs but they can't walk downstairs.

 

[L3moning]

Are they made from horses?

You'd have to assume that's what "horse leather" means, although to be honest who knows at this point?

 

[usefullyuseless]

You'd have to assume that's what "horse leather" means, although to be honest who knows at this point?

I think the name of the style is Crazy Horse and they're leather Chelsea boots

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

You'd have to assume that's what "horse leather" means, although to be honest who knows at this point?

It’s ok. Horse means the colour.

Thank f***.

or your explanation @usefullyuseless . Either way. The leather isn’t horse.

Sorry for chaos.

 

[hollowhusk]

Imagine the property owner coming in to check it over between guests to find an ineradicable lingering honk of fish and all the light bulbs gone. Live music too, fancy! How much do you think a chicken drummer costs?

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I got all excited there when you mentioned a chicken drummer because I thought you meant the beautiful Bernard Mathews turkey drummers I used to love when I was a kid. I wonder if they still make them?

I currently have ham and mozarella crispy pancakes in my freezer (from Asda!) and they are amazing. I might get off Tattle for a minute to put a couple in the airfryer for breakfast.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

This actually really grates my mushrooms, fraus. As a genuine autistic person with heightened sensitivity, I would never be able to wear a turtle neck jumper or necklace like that. She has no idea of what it's actually like, how distressing it is, and pretending she does is downright offensive.



I just hate how she tries to use autism to get away with things. She pulls out the autism card purely to serve her own purposes.

She has read “autism 101” from 1972 and thinks she knows it all, harming those with autism in the process.

The variation within the diagnosis is so great that what was originally considered the “triad of impairment” is now long gone and the amazing research (which goes at such a pace) allows greater understanding and funding for those of all ages. What I learned under B-C 20 years ago is light years away from what we know know, but Jack is still peddling her out-dated ideas and using them for her own benefit.

I am so sorry that you have to explain in order to put your point across. You shouldn’t have to. The understanding is there. Schools know, researchers know but Jack is making people think having autism is like what we thought it was 20 years ago and that breaks my heart.

 

[BubbleDuck]

 

[Whaa?]

Gingerbread were hosting that event, not her. I remember an article or podcast where she gushed about co-parenting her son and how wonderfully that had gone/was going. . Her whipping up her flying monkeys is the kind of behaviour that could see her prosecuted under the new internet laws (still under discussion).

 

[veronica71]

That's a lie in itself. Autistic people will take things literally but can absolutely tell lies and know that they are doing it. Most lack empathy so won't consider how their lie affects other people. She's such a tit.

Sorry but just to quash that myth - autistic people can and do feel empathy and often feel so much it’s overwhelming for them and they shut down which can make them seem uncaring



back to Jack - imagine being such a busy single mum and you’ve been out all day and got home late but have nothing to do for your child or the next day you can spend hours on social media getting into fights for no reason. Why is she so angry all the time? She’s so passive aggressive with her tweets even the happy ones are written with such a sense of the world being against her and only her.

 

[Boyo]

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She's never going to top this. I'd love to know what work it is she imagines she's being being praised for.

“…and said ‘you’re an absolute legend, thanks for all your hard work, I’m a Tattler and your chaoses have got me through many a quiet shift”

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Spoiler: Modern Studies

It's a school subject, covering politics, current affairs, citizenship and so on. There's no equivalent subject in England and Wales as far as I know (not sure about further afield). It's sort of a social science. At my school, history, geography and modern studies made up one department. In class we studied elections, the United Nations, the NHS, US politics etc. The teachers were all right weirdos though, did anyone else find this?!

Spoiler: Modern Studies Reply

I loved Modern Studues! Every time anyone mentions Tomintoul I think of it - we did an entire project on the differences between Aberdeen and Tomintoul.

I liked my MS teacher! And I’d been left school for a few years when I got a taxi home after a Christmas party and he was now a taxi driver (know how when you’re drunk, that’s the best thing, meeting someone you haven’t seen for years). Anyway, we went round leaving Christmas presents on the doorsteps of my neighbours and I never saw him again).