Jack Monroe #271 David Cameron does far more charity work than Jack Monroe

[Vanelope]

Carl is a European name, Karl in Sweden and we roll our rs's too. It comes out like Karol but faster iykwim. I always felt Scots pronunciation of English words was very accurate compared to parts of England. Just my opinion though and no disrespect to English Cabal members

I’m v OT but I love the way Scots pronounce my real name (that is Scottish origin) and don’t like it so much down here.

Never bleeping happened. Getting into the Palace of Westminster takes ages, even if you work there. Nobody gets 'waved through ' you liar. As you were obviously in the HoC (the carpet is green so it is the Commons) you would have had to go through the pain the backside security queue at the front of the building. Your photo is taken and a pass is printed which you wear round your neck. It has to be visible at all times.
You would then be escorted to Westminster Hall to whoever sponsored your entry in the first place. Guests can't wander round on their own. As you were part of a group you would wait until the rest of the group arrived and all would be escorted together.
The fact she thinks she was just wandering around by herself and tried to get into a meeting room without an escort is just not true and pathetic. That's not including the fact a police officer just opened a door for her without checking a pass and letting her in because she is 'a legend'.

Even in the story telling - that didn’t happen - he didn’t recognise her by sight because in real life there was no photoshop pink curtain and the face on a thousand selfies does not exist.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

“Being disbelieved can be such a big deal” - (autism, trauma, being a compulsive liar who forgets *all* of the lies she tells etc)

“so I’ve snapped back for once” - hehehe

but we can we all take a second to appreciate the beautiful hypocrisy that is Monroe, accusing someone else of using Twitter as a means to beg for attention not moments after posting a self-concerned, bullshit story about being recognised in the real world…on Twitter.

Oh lord, give me the self-confidence of such a shameless, self-unaware simpleton.

But she wasn't recognised? He looke at her passport and went "oh yeah" its hardly a thing to brag about.

 

[instacharlie]

Well, she coulda shoulda given Gingerbread a moment in the sun, but no.

Her recent parliamentary appearances have been marked largely with her squee-ing about her being in the limelight.
Perhaps at some point this will be noticed by those that promote her and think that she is a good spokesperson for their events.

 

[Notmycat]

Grunking, so I’m waaaay behind, but tbf I do still refer to my ex’s parents as my in-laws. But she was never actually in a relationship with SB’s dad afaik, he’s just the baby daddy (so all her rants about being a ‘single parent’ would have people believe…)

Not sure where this will land as I'm grunking.

Same, my partner's parents count me as their DIL as we had planned to marry and had to postpone for health reasons, that was 2010. All cards are for DIL, I'm the only DIL they have. Against popular opinion I love my in laws.

Severe cases of ouchy mouth and arthritic hands. He DIDN'T LEAVE.

Jack, have you paid the TT yet?

 

[Clapster1]

Ooh look! It's idyllic childhood in Northern Ireland Jack.

Also..... she is NOT a single parent and never has been. She co-parents and that is very much not the same thing.

 

[Django]

What the hell happened last night? She went to some event at parliament where she obviously got smoke blown up her arse and immediately she's like 'I'm going to stand for parliament! Everybody loves me! A security guard recognised me! Actually it was MY event! My name was EVERYWHERE! I'm going to become the first minister of Scotland!' So embarrassing.

Her most recent 'liked' tweet.

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Jack certainly has something in her upper lip

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh what a delightful morning grunk! I’m almost disappointed my insomnia isn’t playing up at the mo, I could have seen that in real time if it was. Funny how the pretend armed policeman who waved Jack in talks just like Jack. “Absolute legend” indeed.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Ooh look! It's idyllic childhood in Northern Ireland Jack.

Also..... she is NOT a single parent and never has been. She co-parents and that is very much not the same thing.

So she had her photos taken with the DUP then? lol

 

[Ninch55]

she's been buying again. very convenient, that everything £1 bookshop and pals to chip in

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Snippy witch - open dig at the ex there. What a cow.

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Funny how she led any snark to the flying monkeys, yet a genuine question about the £10k Trussell Trust donation goes unanswered.

 

[Eurgh]

I think ‘I finally snapped because I’m HUMAN OK!’ Jack is one of my favourite Jacks.

 

[LilyLilyPot]

Ooh look! It's idyllic childhood in Northern Ireland Jack.

Also..... she is NOT a single parent and never has been. She co-parents and that is very much not the same thing.

Pisses me off no end. My friend and neighbour is genuinely a single parent, living in a mouldy council house which the council don't want to know about. Typical Jack, taking up space and stealing the spotlight from those we really do need to hear from.

What does Jack know about anything?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

She'll only publicise it if someone gives her a paid commission to write. Despite the fact that with 0.5m followers, Twitter is a pretty effective platform for talking about the event, what it means, and what it aims to do.

In the beginning (despite her shonky origin story) I think she did have a real desire to work on behalf of people in poverty (in no part because influential people bigger her up) but fame (social media fame I mean) has ruined her. Tip in her complete inability to manage money and her cluster B ability to exploit empathy and sympathy in others to make up for that and you get an absolutely dysfunctional existence.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She also has to concentrate on Scotland because she's an ex-member/ hanger on of just about every other English political party, and presumably has her card marked in each of them. The Greens, the WEP, the Labour party, and even that obscure party I can't remember the name of. So she has to literally move country if she wants any kind of formal political career (which she obviously is not cut out for). But wouldn't she be better off in Northern Ireland, given her heritage? Not that I'm wishing her on our NI fraus or anything. It's just - why does she think she can randomly represent any of Scotland??

 

[definitelynotvlad]

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STAY AWAY FROM SCOTLAND! We don’t want you!!

 

[ednaturnblad]

Oh what a delightful morning grunk! I’m almost disappointed my insomnia isn’t playing up at the mo, I could have seen that in real time if it was. Funny how the pretend armed policeman who waved Jack in talks just like Jack. “Absolute legend” indeed.

‘Cor, you’re an absolute legend you are pal. I’ll just pop you through.’

 

[skronkywildcat]

"I literally can't lie" is absolutely amazing. I can't stop laughing at it.

Off the top of my head, Jack, you have lied about:

* having covid
* owning a toaster
* drinking coffee
* drinking grapefruit juice
* eating sugar
* having some intersex condition which leads to "intimate physical abnormalities"
* the number of steps you walk in a day
* taking a severely disabled animal to the vet
* feeding 3 people for 20£ a week
* going to Asda and not finding budget rice

That's without even going into the poverty backstory, which is demonstrably false based on the evidence of your own blog.

Face it, you are the living version of the guard from the riddle who never tells the truth. You are an outrageous, non-stop liar. Those Tory politicians you were hobnobbing with were probably there to take notes, because who better to learn from?

What with intimate physical abnormalities and ‘unruly labia’ I’m assuming the issue is that she has flaps like Dumbo.

 

[Veronicaaa]

‘Cor, you’re an absolute legend you are pal. I’ll just pop you through.’

It's a variation of the man sidling up to her in Asda and whispering about how much he loves her work. Remember how she blatantly asked her followers to send her fan mail?

 

[Captainmouse]

But she wasn't recognised? He looke at her passport and went "oh yeah" its hardly a thing to brag about.

But which face is in her passport? she has so many to choose from

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Anything is possible with her. Can you imagine though, she'd be smug as anything, thinking she's all important. Meanwhile the cabal will be at the thought of Jack having an employer to answer to and having to do some actual work. It'd be hilarious

I recently had to deal with someone not passing their probation. They went full Monroe, combing through emails and meeting notes for anything that wasn't exactly in accordance with policy and clinging on to any suggestion that a piece of work was up to standard and produced quite an impressive document detailing everything we had done wrong. I imagine jack would be like that if anyone suggested she wasn't doing a good enough job.