Jack Monroe #27 Jack's career move after cooking with cans? Who’d have thought it would be OnlyFans?

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doop

She wants us to comment on her gender non-conformity. Yeh, we don't care how you dress. We are worried about you.
 
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I steal names

I steal names

Why are they all speaking like Vivienne Westwood has died? It's all, "It's what she would have wanted".

Now I'm doubting myself, I'm going to have to google.
 
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GrunkaLunka

GrunkaLunka

Saint_clemmie said:
I’m actually quite upset that her name is being placed along side Marcus Rashford’s when she’s done duck all.
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I feel the same, it is disgraceful.
PoorPatrol said:
Am I the only one on this thread who is in a permanent state of Grunka-ing? Every time I catch up, Jackanory has moved onto another realm of cuntishness. I can’t wait to settle down with the Live later, what a treat!
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I like to stay true to my name, and am currently Grunka-ing for my life.
colouredlines said:
I got bored so I wrote a song that covers the last 3 months of Jack's life.

To the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire"

Single mum, not a cook, newfound fame, writes a book
Alcoholic, vegan, trans, immunocompromised
THAT MAN on Channel 4, angry tweets, she's still poor,
Lockdown Larder, spinach cans, Daily Kitchen Live

Coughs a bit, stays at home, tech problems on her phone
Grated corned beef, horse spunk sauce, superhero pose
Cans of veg, cans of roots, passive-aggressive citrus fruits
Rinsed beans, dry cake, now in the studio!

She didn't put out fires
She just answered phones
Although you'd never know
Some would call her a liar
But they're all just bitter
And her lawyer's with her

Fat in mince, bread knife, borrows Matt from his wife
Cheeky duo, rising star, laughing up a lung
Suing Tattle, printing pages, hasn't felt this good in ages
Nigella-lite, wants renewal, phone stays unrung

Big announcement coming soon, superfan is on the moon
Garden camping, buying paint, renovates the shed
Apologies to THAT MAN, camping stove, lots of cans
Youtube show? No but look, now she's shaved her head!

She didn't put out fires
She falls under trains
The Tories are to blame
Her food always looks dire
Salmon paste and rinsed beans
On a bed of tinned greens

On the train, pervy men, same old tit once again
Bloke says "hi", Jack gets mad, kicks him in the shin
New book, depressipes, This Morning, veg and cheese
Uncooked pasta, no chicken, straight into the bin

Posting books, all by hand, anything for her fans
None arrive, what's gone wrong? Blame the Royal Mail
Makeover for Instagram, lifts 93 kilograms
Fridge breaks, begs a Smeg, going off the rails

She didn't put out fires
She's a maverick leader
With a million readers
She's available for hire
Four jobs and patrons online
She's still on the breadline

Hellman's mayo, grey hair, Miguel Barclay sure looks scared
Potato salad, tofu sandwich, comments all turned off
Stays up late, many tweets, tucks her labia, then deletes
Now she has severe hayfever - wasn't it a cough?

Video in black and white, #JackLivesMatter so let's fight
White as mayo, small advance, where is Mrs J?
Racist drama, shielding mother, now here comes her black brother!
Lockdown haircut, Twitter break, lasts less than a day

She didn't put out fires
She supports black dreams
But just behind the scenes
Why do her fans admire
Her suspicious fiction
And Twitter addiction?

Lost weight, overshare, photoshops her body hair
Sexy photos in weird clothes, Stuart's going mad
Mrs J has run away, time for a new fiancée
Sports bra, skin-tight skirt, but she just looks sad

Grenfell Tower memories, nuggets of mince, fat and cheese
536 days off the booze
Marcus Rashford, Twitter fights, thirst trap photos, sleepless nights
Bathing in her own ephemera, hardly any views

She didn't put out fires
Small Boy's dad is helping
But she won't stop yelping
Maybe she should retire
She'll use her Hellman's riches
To sue Tattle witches
As the lawyers conspire
To pay legal fees, er,
She could sell a freezer?
While we sort court attire
She's triangulating
So let's all stop hating...
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That is bleeping beautiful, my eye make up is ALL OVER THE SHOP. Tears of laughter streaming down my face.
 
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Miss Anne Thrope

Miss Anne Thrope

Argh 12 pages to zoom through - halp! Budget Clemmie was on?! The Tattle worlds are colliding - it's like a Thor movie. BRB (runs back to page 36)
 
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lipsticktaser

lipsticktaser

doop said:
She wants us to comment on her gender non-conformity. Yeh, we don't care how you dress. We are worried about you.
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I definitely think she’s leaning back into genderqueer since the split. Short hair, not shaving and I think she had a binder on today.
Im sure this coincided with drinking last time.
Each to there own and if she’s happy, go for it. I think to the general public it’s just really jarring after the Nigella cosplay.
 
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Silver Linings

Silver Linings

lipsticktaser said:
I definitely think she’s leaning back into genderqueer since the split. Short hair, not shaving and I think she had a binder on today.
Im sure this coincided with drinking last time.
Each to there own and if she’s happy, go for it. I think to the general public it’s just really jarring after the Nigella cosplay.
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Personally (and I swear i’m not doing a gay Stuart), I think she just carries weight on her boobs and her shirt is the same she always wears which is normally tighter. I dunno. She’s deffo come back to herself, which good for her if she feels better, just, as you say, very jarring.
 
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Motherwellgirl

Motherwellgirl

That’s a terrible photo. I agree. She’s gone downhill since the split from her partner.

It’s not the fashion. It’s how sad she looks. How much weight she has lost and the hair cut. She looks sad. She’s faking it. You can see it.

I didn’t even recognise her outfit as a dress. What the hell is it?
 
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