Jack Monroe #269 The secret ingredient is … SPITE

[Orphan_Black]

also anyone who calls them 'sammiches' can get to absolute fuck and not come back

Well then! Byeeeee lolololol

(Can I come back by admitting I used it to take the piss more, ouchy teef baby speak, innit?)

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Happy birthday Jack! May your cake be glittery!

 

[jenny2603]

Will she celebrate her birthday by making the £10k donation that is owed to the Trussell Trust? Look at me, ouchy mouth, all alone, but making this big selfless gesture?

...and if you want to make my birthday extra special please donate to the Trussell Trust and these other charities.

If she does that she'll still have been a total dick for not updating people and being transparent but at least the money will be going where it's supposed to.

 

[Silver Linings]

New thread

Jack Monroe #270 I’m even tired of myself right now

Title by @Valiofthedolls Words by Jack herself. Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread (after 750 posts/page 35ish) and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please. Wiki is the pink button for newbies. Happy Birthday, Jack. 🎉

tattle.life

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

The magic puddle has gifted her 'Max's Sandwich Book' hasn't it?
That even has a whole section on which crisps to pair with each sarnie.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Hacky Blurpday Jacky! Hope you donated that 10k today, as a feel good birthday present to yourself!

 

[Elastoblast]

Fixed that for you.

Why thank space you

 

[StringyMango]

Or to put it another way. No humility /capacity to learn.
Jackie, you are (probably) the most uncool person on the planet.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Happy saints day, Patrick!

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I got that far then thought - nah can’t read anymore of her garbage because in my head I’m hearing her nasal drones. I’ll wait for those tolerant good hearted fraus to pull it to pieces.

I got as far as leg of lamb and champagne.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

How bad must her respiratory problems (which were never mentioned prior to the recent Evil Landlady breadcrumbing) be if she can't take codeine? Is she going to start performatively dragging an oxygen canister around with her on her yomps to That London?

Might have more to do with the Diva claim of being off her tits on prescription medication last year.

 

[StringyMango]

"Boho bog witch"

 

[KebabGirl]

It’s just insane isn’t it, like Twitter being a resource you can just tap into for free cash? The idea of strangers just randomly sending me money is

Idk why she doesn’t use this free unearned cash to become the Pablo Escobar of crypto, like she has sooo much free time write some DCA scripts across the top 100/200 and buy the forever home with a gr8 deposit?? Grifting is truly wasted on the grifters!

You forget one vital thing - she cannot be arsed to do anything that involves effort. Especially on her birthday!

Really hoping her agent pops up with another "call me" message. It's not too much to ask

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

View attachment 1131172View attachment 1131173

Iconic?

Not ~entirely~ sure about that one Jack, but each to their own.

 

[Orphan_Black]

How do you even get half a GCSE.

Short course religious Ed, I did it too.

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

Do you sincerely believe you are an honest person?

…..
WHERE IS DASH??

 

[Froggies]

Has Jack shrunk? I am sure she used to be 5 foot 1.7

She’s SHRUNK, ok?!

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

HATS!!!

as you were….

 

[Jelly Bean]

Mmmmm, cold bacon and possibly luke warm pancakes.

Well we know how she likes to make her meals hours/days before they are due to be consumed.

 

[Wooh]

I have been busier than Jack, if you can believe it. I won't be catching up so I'm starting here.

Is this a correct summary:

Brags about dream coming true tomorrow, has debilitating tooth pain again preventing attendance?

Jack, you're just pathetic