Jack Monroe #269 The secret ingredient is … SPITE

[Silver Linings]

Title by @Veronicaaa Nominated by @DisgruntledGoat

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Good luck with your job interview, Jack.

 

[Clovis]

I was hoping that one would win!

/chef's kiss a with black pudding crumble and cod roe jus.

 

[instacharlie]

I hope the interview is soon........I care as much about other people's sandwiches as I do trifle. About the same amount as Jack cares about tidyness

 

[kachoochoo]

doesn't even make sense cos jimmy's book's not about him being a bellend (ooh, edgy!) personally

I did enjoy this part of the thread though

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Title by @Veronicaaa Nominated by @DisgruntledGoat

Please remember no thread titles until the tail end of the thread (after 750 posts/page 35ish) and to add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies.

Good luck with your job interview, Jack.

Job is definitely to do with sandwiches.

The night before an interview and just before doesn’t everyone go through potential questions with partner/family/in head?

She is so going to be asked about food in the interview.

Or…curve ball… as previous poster mentioned, job has been secured and this is entirely for our benefit as a borefest/gotcha moment.

Jack. Go and watch Julian Cookies on Instagram. He is hilarious. He will take your mind us off for a while .

 

[Smeghead]

Just bringing over from last thread
1. Not paying the TT money when she could

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I suppose we should be grateful she hasn't elevenifed Pandan.

 

[Feck]

Job is definitely to do with sandwiches.

The night before an interview and just before doesn’t everyone go through potential questions with partner/family/in head?

She is so going to be asked about food in the interview.

Or…curve ball… as previous poster mentioned, job has been secured and this is entirely for our benefit as a borefest/gotcha moment.

Jack. Go and watch Julian Cookies on Instagram. He is hilarious. He will take your mind us off for a while .

I definitely thinks she's been offered something. This performance is entirely for our benefit even though she absolutely DOES NOT read here or care what we think AT ALL. She was desperate for us to say that we hoped she didn't get whatever it is but sadly we're all too lovely There will be no "Ah ha, gotcha, I DID get the amazing dreamed for job. Stick that ninnies!" for you Jack.

Furthermore, a JOB would be delicious content. It might even make her STFU about sandwiches.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I hope the sandwiches die a natural death soon, it's just supposed adults crapping on about their gross fillings and that's just not satisfying my need for chaos and

 

[Orphan_Black]

This performance is entirely for our benefit

And we don't really care all that much! We just want her to pay her taxes and give Trussell Trust the 10k.

 

[jenny2603]

Morning Jack,
I hope you see this before the big interview. Here is a link to some positive affirmations that might help get you in the right frame of mind for the interview. https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/g25629970/positive-affirmations/

I promise not to mention the missing charity funds until after the interview so as you're not distracted trying to sort it out.

Best of luck.

 

[ednaturnblad]

Didn’t she say her London thing was ‘kind of’ like a job interview? I’m being too lazy to check soz.

Guys I really think it’s Strictly. Neil brace yo self.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Guys I really think it’s Strictly. Neil brace yo self.

Oh I hope so. That would be perfect.
Hard to see how she could square it with her numerous debilitating ailments tbh but
She could become the nation's sweetheart like Rose

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Imagining Jack dancing & actually thinking she has the fortitude to do that amount of practise has made me hoot-covid coughing jag-fizz.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Didn’t she say her London thing was ‘kind of’ like a job interview? I’m being too lazy to check soz.

Guys I really think it’s Strictly. Neil brace yo self.

Yeah she didn't say it was an actual interview, just that it was best described as an interview for job she's always dreamed of or some shite. So could be a pitch for something, could just be bullshit I'm past caring now anyway, I feel like my IQ has just taken a tumble after all those sandwiches.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

I definitely thinks she's been offered something. This performance is entirely for our benefit even though she absolutely DOES NOT read here or care what we think AT ALL. She was desperate for us to say that we hoped she didn't get whatever it is but sadly we're all too lovely There will be no "Ah ha, gotcha, I DID get the amazing dreamed for job. Stick that ninnies!" for you Jack.

Furthermore, a JOB would be delicious content. It might even make her STFU about sandwiches.

A JOB would be hilarious. We can do a bingo card about all the different sick note opportunities she’ll muster

 

[HotesTilaire]

What’s been happening?
Jack has bored us all to tears playing completed it mate: sandwich edition.
Prelude was same but trifle edition. Then she made the usual basic-ass birds trifle abomination.
Big Dave guffaws at trifles sprayed gold. Also it annoys us. Win-win all round!
A Jaccident occurred, which can only mean one thing- she’s supposed to be somewhere, doing something, soon!
Turns out she has a big interview for the thing she’s dreamed of for the last 10 years - what can it be? Surely being given free money for tweeting is her goal, and she already gets that?
She used the word “guff” but she doesn’t read here. She just references this evil corner of the internet all the damn time!
Which Frau nominated “nobody puts tattle in the corner” for threaddy title? I think Manc
She’s put disabled in the bio again...but you popped your own dislocated kneecap back in at 5am with nae bother, maybe she’s gonna compete in the next paralympics representing one of her origin lands, like NI?
She dreamed about the time as a small child, a stranger took her hand and attempted to lead her away but her mum stopped them. Short dream, then.
Still no word on whether the charity money has been forwarded on to Trussell Trust and others, or if it’s just resting in her account....

 

[usefullyuseless]

I'm still grunking through the last thread but I really really REALLY hope her interview is for a celeb version of the Crystal Maze. I want to see Jack tackle this game:

 

[ednaturnblad]

Oh I hope so. That would be perfect.
Hard to see how she could square it with her numerous debilitating ailments tbh but
She could become the nation's sweetheart like Rose

Same. I have a ton of work to do and now all I can think about is which pro dancer Jack would get paired with.

Neil or Karen. You heard it here first.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

The magic puddle has gifted her 'Max's Sandwich Book' hasn't it?
That even has a whole section on which crisps to pair with each sarnie.