Jack Monroe #269 The secret ingredient is … SPITE

[Onestorytoomany]

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She eats the biggest amount of shit corned beef and Billy bear ham. Foul! Full of processed crap.

Also if a property is 10,000 it's a big fixer upper. Just sayin.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

She’s probably got a packet of maize snacks binding her teeth together.View attachment 1127946

Take it she hasn’t tried visiting a dentist? She could prob afford it with all the patreon money!

 

[Smeghead]

If she keeps shrinking like this she may disappear completely….

I’m no economist…but is this something to do with deflation? The very opposite of inflation and the infamous VBI, where prices sky rocket but she keeps getting smaller?

 

[Arsov Cooper]

Wonder how many litres of water it takes to an boilersuit entire wardrobe pink black , or does Jack use waste water for her dalliances with Dylon

I have to say, when the whole black dye thing cropped up with mention of Dylon, I had forgotten my dalliance with tie-dye in the 1960s and thought you were all referring to the Prime Minister's dog.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[FlirtyThirty]

What’s the difference between a writer and author?

I'd say being traditionally published - but I think author should be reserved for fiction writers, not any twat whose shat out a slopbook...

edit to add: SAYING that, I suppose Jack IS a fiction writer...

 

[Dogmuck]

What’s the difference between a writer and author?

I got that far then thought - nah can’t read anymore of her garbage because in my head I’m hearing her nasal drones. I’ll wait for those tolerant good hearted fraus to pull it to pieces.

 

[LydiaDeetzHat]

Does no one say butty?

i do. Northerner who has been living in London over 20 odd yrs here

 

[Onestorytoomany]

just get em all pulled! the stuff she cooks, it's not like she's got much use for them!

Why doesn't she get them pulled and save for a bridge or whatever it is. I mean she eats slop anyway so it hardly matters

 

[BananaSmith]

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Vampire Jack! Was not expecting that one!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Whoop trending in your birthday.

Also is she mates with Mr twitter now?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Will she celebrate her birthday by making the £10k donation that is owed to the Trussell Trust? Look at me, ouchy mouth, all alone, but making this big selfless gesture?

I bet that’s what she’s been waiting for!!

 

[Clovis]

Hooray, I found the list I was looking for, thanks @Django in thread #240
I’ve added the latest. Could this go in the Wiki if it’s not there already? I looked but couldn’t see it.

Jack Monroe #240 Schwankend

There are so many Jacks. A veritable plague of Jacks. Just when you think you've exhausted the list, more pop up like peeky minks.

tattle.life

ADHD (severe)
Alcoholism
Allergies- tomatoes, onions, shellfish ***Coopsie**
Anaphylaxis
Anxiety
Arthritis (severe)
Asthma
Autism
BFRB
Borderline diabetes/hypoglycemia
Broke 46/47 bones in her foot
Broken ribs
Broken toe
Burnout (severe)
Chilblains
Concussion (severe)
Covid 19 and long Covid
Depression
Disfigured legs
Distended ribs
EDS
Eye injury (see @BeautifulTrauma )
Fucked up lungs (death rattle)
Hair loss
Hay fever (severe)
Heart problems
Heart attack
Hypersensitivity (wrists)
Immuno compromised
Lactose intolerant
Mouth ulcers and ouch mouth (severe)
Panic attack
Poor mental health
***Popping Knee***
Port wine stains
PTSD
***Respiratory problems***
Scarring
Sexual abuse
Sinusitis (chronic)
Sprained shoulder
Sprained thumb (washing up injury)
Splinter (severe)
Stutter
***Too many Teeth***
Trauma
Weakened knees
Whiplash

 

[Lazarus]

I broke 11 bones in my foot many years ago (came off my bicycle real nasty like, crunch). At the time, it was so painful I would have cut it off at the ankle if I had a saw to hand. Had to wear a full supportive boot for months! To this day my left foot is all weird looking.

Is it that unusual to not own jeans? My husband doesn’t wear jeans, he mostly wears combat trousers so he can stuff tools in his pockets and if he’s being a bit smart (he doesn’t do properly smart) he wears chinos.

Don’t know where this’ll land but I’m an early 40’s Frau and got my first pair of jeans (since teens) about 2yrs ago. Wearer of vintage, mostly dresses, skirts and traazers - jeans made their way into my wardrobe around pandemic time.
doesn’t feel unusual.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

You can see from Tipps profile pic that they aren’t overcrowded. I have actual ugly snaggle teeth right across so she can fuck off with her one cutely angled tooth.

 

[YenE]

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So why bother posting at all?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

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Toothache tweet deleted.

Chicken and slop, mm-mmm.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Who calls it a sambo?

Oblivious people, I'd imagine. I remember the slang for packed lunches back when I was in primary school and still kinda cringe now thinking about it.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Could call her parents to be guarantor on a loan but couldn't tell them she was doing so poorly she needed to use a food bank. Okay. Sure. Okay.

Big Dave would be paying that off the second the first month's payment bounced. Also if her parents are anything unlike her at all they'd tell her to fuck right off.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I’ll see if my mum still has my Polly Pocket for the last part of this decade.

That would be the perfect size for the smol pixie!