Jack Monroe #269 The secret ingredient is … SPITE

[ChactFecker]

Okay, I have figured out the ouchies she plays a bastardised hybrid of Musical Chairs and Heads, Shoulders, knees and toes....

Picture the scene:-
Earlier this evening in the Slopshop:
<music playing>
JM: "You there!, small urchin, yes, you! Stop this music at at a random time"

<Mumbling and arms flailing>
Heads, Shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, and arms and ears and mouth....

[Click]

 

[Elastoblast]

I'm in Tesco just now. Should I take Jack's advice from her extensive research and buy the own brand gluten free bread for the FODMAP diet I'm getting put on?

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

My question: I just want to know what in the Sally Army clothes bank pavement overspill was going on here please?
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The Toilet Roll Cover outfit, an interesting look!

 

[Vanelope]

Stormzy is 72 years old

heehee makes me laugh

 

[HotesTilaire]

Hooray, I found the list I was looking for, thanks @Django in thread #240
I’ve added the latest. Could this go in the Wiki if it’s not there already? I looked but couldn’t see it.

Jack Monroe #240 Schwankend

There are so many Jacks. A veritable plague of Jacks. Just when you think you've exhausted the list, more pop up like peeky minks.

tattle.life

ADHD (severe)
Alcoholism
Allergies- tomatoes, onions, shellfish ***Coopsie**
Anaphylaxis
Anxiety
Arthritis (severe)
Asthma
Autism
BFRB
Borderline diabetes/hypoglycemia
Broke 46/47 bones in her foot
Broken ribs
Broken toe
Burnout (severe)
Chilblains
Concussion (severe)
Covid 19 and long Covid
Depression
Disfigured legs
Distended ribs
EDS
Eye injury (see @BeautifulTrauma )
Fucked up lungs (death rattle)
Hair loss
Hay fever (severe)
Heart problems
Heart attack
Hypersensitivity (wrists)
Immuno compromised
Lactose intolerant
Mouth ulcers and ouch mouth (severe)
Panic attack
Poor mental health
***Popping Knee***
Port wine stains
PTSD
***Respiratory problems***
Scarring
Sexual abuse
Sinusitis (chronic)
Sprained shoulder
Sprained thumb (washing up injury)
Splinter (severe)
Stutter
Trauma
Weakened knees
Whiplash

Cool can we add in Migraines and Seizures during migraines?

 

[FlirtyThirty]

It's an autoimmune condition - I don't believe that 'stress' is a good thing to blame a malfunctioning immune system upon, as it makes it the fault of the individual for not thinking right or coping well, rather than a biological process. Uncontrolled inflammation from an autoimmune disease has been found to affect mood and emotions entirely separate to any pain, feelings about having the disease or other circumstances - deal with the inflammation and the symptoms evaporate, in the case of steroid pulses, that can happen within a couple of hours of injection. Inflammation also increases the likelihood of cardiovascular events and some cancers - so the logical progression from putting the immune system fucking up down to 'you're a bit stressed, dear, that's what causes it' is 'you've given yourself blood cancer because you're not good with stress/didn't meditate or take antidepressants twenty years ago' - which is ridiculous, you can no more think yourself into cancer, celiac, RA or Psoriasis (or T1 Diabetes, which is also an autoimmune disease) than you can think yourself out of needing insulin, beclomethasone or radiotherapy.


The medication they're talking about there is one that has been used for many years and can help many, but it can have some tough side effects. If she feels able to, requesting injectable MTX is a lot easier in terms of side effects, she needs to make sure that she takes her folic acid as prescribed on non MTX days, follows all their instructions on what to do if she has symptoms of any infection and gets well informed, as MTX has to be tried before biologics in most cases. Oh, and if she hasn't, asking about a steroid pulse to keep her going whilst waiting for the methotrexate to kick in is very, very useful.

Thank you for this - massively useful! It was her doctor that said it can start with stress, and it did start when her long term partner told her out of the blue he wanted her to move out & she struggled to find somewhere to stay and hates being alone so I guess she just believed her when told that’s what started it off. She knows it’s progressive though, so I’ll tell her about the MTX.

 

[colouredlines]

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Please let there be a new series of mayo lives...

Aneurysm time?

Go for it, Jack - I use Kewpie mayo, so no need to start another boycott here!

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I still can't work out what is going on with her nose at the start of that video, it looks so different?

 

[rogueapostrophe]

A repetitive shame injury.

She feels no shame as exhibited in the Lingreenie debacle. Just one of several examples!

 

[Elastoblast]

Yes she has said it’s Rheumatoid Arthritis which I think is more akin to invisible illnesses like fibromyalgia in its symptoms, (especially fatigue and “flares” from exertion)than actual arthritis which isn’t that invisible.
So in a sense I agree with @Shawads that I think it’s likely she does have an invisible illness which can be wildly variable -myself being in the ME slash Long Covid gang, I can totally get dolled up and go out for an evening, about 4 times per year equally I can spend 4 weeks housebound.
However I also think Jack has issues with personality disorders and possible ADHD/Autism (because other frauds think they could be present) and all those things together are a very different thing than invisible illnesses without PD. Hence I’m happy to call her a cunt because she absolutely doesn’t do anything to help herself.

Rheumatoid arthritis results in joints swelling and becoming quite painful and distorted so it is normally quite visible. A friend has very painful hands and her fingers are shifted to an odd angle as a result of repeated flares. She's in her 60s so didn't have the benefit of many of the drugs commonly used for it now. When I was working as a nurse I saw people quite disfigured (I'm hesitant to use that word but can't think how else to put it) by their RA

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[BubbleDuck]

It'll be all that used pasta water she hoards.

quackhack #2603 - when destroying perfectly good clothes for some Big Sad Cosplay , using reclaimed pasta water to rinse will leave your costume perfectly starched without the need for starch spray or ironing. Top tip- if you are running low on pasta water, grab some from a muddy puddle - if you are lucky you may find a designer accessory floating in it

 

[Feck]

I fear her use of the word smear in relation to a sandwich may be the start of Jewish Jack. From Wikipedia-

Schmear is a word of Germanic origin, equivalent to 'smear' or 'spread' (usually fat or butter). In some Germanic languages, the cognate of smear itself means butter.

The use and spelling of schmear or shmear in American English is a direct loanword from Yiddish, where its original usage referred to cheese.[1] In modern usage it has extended to anything that can be spread, such as cream cheese spread upon a bagel.

I sincerely hope not. When Jack uses it (and in relation to the aforementioned ham sandwiches) it very much screams the cervical variety.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Sorry grunking again. I would ask her how on earth Jack considers they are disabled? I am not including neurodiversity, so maybe that’s what Jack means. I hope I haven’t mangled this or offended anyone.

View attachment 1127264

Is there nothing jack doesn’t know?

 

[GoLando]

View attachment 1131323

Oh fuck right the way off!!!

 

[Silver Linings]

I’ll do the new thread in a mo.

 

[Emmapism]

Showing great restraint with only the middle finger tbh!

I saw an ad pop up for pub in the park the other day. Maybe Jack will be given a stall? I can imagine a lot of pissed off punters if she did

 

[Elastoblast]

I know we've moved on from sandwich chat but I'm having cheese and cucumber today 🔺️ which I'm taking to my very real office job in the very real world. How do I get one of these fantasy world jobs please? Sounds much more interesting

Sadly they are only available for Smol Pixies so unless you are 5ft 1 or 3 then no chance

 

[ishant]

don’t give her ideas, Vlad

 

[StringyMango]

Wonder if LJC will give her a present this year?