Jack Monroe #268 May I ask where you work?

[jenny2603]

No Squig, there is no transparency at all. Any normal fundraiser would be keen to let everyone know how much they'd raised and what was happening but Jack is a maverick and does not play by the rules and she also doesn't get results.

 

[JombleWomble]

She doesn’t even read our nonsense!

View attachment 1123502

She doesn't want to give us the chance to monetise our "obsessive hatred"? Monetise? MONETISE?! Does this mean I can charge people for the guff I write here? How about the legendary recovery time, after I've written an especially long post?

Jack- not everyone writes things online to make money. Some of us do it because we've found a group of likeminded people who are fun to chat to. You should try it sometime.

 

[Captainmouse]

She doesn't want to give us the chance to monetise our "obsessive hatred"? Monetise? MONETISE?! Does this mean I can charge people for the guff I write here? How about the legendary recovery time, after I've written an especially long post?

Jack- not everyone writes things online to make money. Some of us do it because we've found a group of likeminded people who are fun to chat to. You should try it sometime.

Errrr she might struggle with the like minded bit

 

[jenny2603]

I'd love to know how many reports there have been.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Has Jack been sniffing Gold1g tonight?

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The bottom layer looks like she’s flung water into a stale ashtray and left it for an hour

Omg it's rusty it's a serial killer trifle.

So the (no longer) silver stars and gold balls on that “quit smoking by filling a jar with fag ends and water and sniffing each time you’re tempted to smoke” trifle must have had Big Dave wetting his kecks

Please let it be the next one

 

[BubbleDuck]

Trifle dish? are they fancy now?

Also I really hate the current trend if serving food of things that aren't serving dishes. Like slates and bleeping dog bowls. I mean honestly you can get cheap white plates for like few quid out if the charity shop.

How do you feel about the similar trend -spoons that are made to look like not spoons ?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

How do you feel about the similar trend -spoons that are made to look like not spoons ?View attachment 1123614

You know what those would be perfect for?

 

[jenny2603]

OMG! Jack's dad is going to explode with the laughter when he hears about these little discoveries. I won't lie I'm taking a big flight in the old ROFLcopter myself!!!!! You know how you get gold food spray to enrage a corner of the internet? Well you can also get spray in bronze and silver!!!!!!!! Call me an ambulance. You could so have a competition with three levels of trifle - gold for the winner like in the Olympics.

 

[Alansbigplate]

My kid is reading a book about space penguins. I know it's weird. Anyhoo the good penguins have just met up with the bad penguin and I tit you not this is how it went down.

Good penguins"So how's it been going?"

Bad penguin, "oh I have improved myself so much since I worked with you, I have completed all these tasks"

Good penguins," sure you have'

Bad penguin rages," how dare you speak to me like that, I have achieved all of this in xx years"

Good penguins, " it's taken you xx years to achieve this"

I'm sure I have seen a similar convo somewhere else?!

I can screen shot it for proof if required. I have the receipts.

 

[colouredlines]

I for one will be monetising my obsessive hatred by launching a range of t-shirts. Slogans include:

SOUTHEND SLOP SLINGER
MACRO MEANS BIG
APOSTROPHES DENOTE POSSESSION OR CONTRACTION
HEAT THE OIL FIRST YOU IDIOT
JACK MONROE SHITS IN BAGS

All profits will be donated to a charity I choose not to name, because I want to protect them from this hellsite full of mendacious bullies etc.

 

[Hollaaa]

Please can you do bags too if we promise not to tit in them, LineyC?

 

[jenny2603]

I for one will be monetising my obsessive hatred by launching a range of t-shirts. Slogans include:

SOUTHEND SLOP SLINGER
MACRO MEANS BIG
APOSTROPHES DENOTE POSSESSION OR CONTRACTION
HEAT THE OIL FIRST YOU IDIOT
JACK MONROE SHITS IN BAGS

All profits will be donated to a charity I choose not to name, because I want to protect them from this hellsite full of mendacious bullies etc.

Will you be adding anything gold trifle related? I'd be very keen to purchase BIG DAVE LAUGHS AT GOLD TRIFLES merch.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Jack has mentioned us a lot lately. You can't shag Tattle Jack mate.

Too early for you know what?

 

[colouredlines]

Please can you do bags too if we promise not to tit in them, LineyC?

Yeah, they'll say THIS BAG PAID FOR 20 GRIME-ENCRUSTED OLD SPOONS AND SOME CHEAP RICE, SO UP YOURS BORIS

Will you be adding anything gold trifle related? I'd be very keen to purchase BIG DAVE LAUGHS AT GOLD TRIFLES merch.

I'm scared the mere thought of the hilarity that is gold-sprayed trifle would cause widespread hysteria, leading to traffic accidents, heart attacks, etc.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Please can you do bags too if we promise not to tit in them, LineyC?

That's it, I'm deceased.

(This is the high quality guff the Haunted Bird Site criticise us for. Such trolling. So mendacious. Mither. Mither.)

 

[MsGilmore]

OMG! Jack's dad is going to explode with the laughter when he hears about these little discoveries. I won't lie I'm taking a big flight in the old ROFLcopter myself!!!!! You know how you get gold food spray to enrage a corner of the internet? Well you can also get spray in bronze and silver!!!!!!!! Call me an ambulance. You could so have a competition with three levels of trifle - gold for the winner like in the Olympics.

View attachment 1123622View attachment 1123623

I have to confess, I have used shimmer spray on cupcakes but only a bit. I didn’t cover the things like Jack did! It’s not a car!

 

[jenny2603]

I have to confess, I have used shimmer spray on cupcakes but only a bit. I didn’t cover the things like Jack did! It’s not a car!

Was this to amuse a relative or to annoy a hostile corner of the internet?

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Is Jack’s dad Shakespeare? #1578truther

 

[colouredlines]

Yours for the price of 2 weeks' shopping. Looks great with hats.

 

[kachoochoo]

ah man, i really need to learn how to monetise keeping jack's to do list along with creating the occasional meme and writing the odd poem/song/play. I have clearly been missing out on the big bucks


anyhoo, I'm off to wet the bed