Jack Monroe #268 May I ask where you work?

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Siiiigh. Who does the 9 year old belong to that she's aiming this at, then?
Oh fuxk that’s just made me think…she’s got some school meal gig of a life time
@Hollaaa (can’t do bit quotes now) but this “ I will say of my experience it has never been right since and I should have been taken to A&E, even if it was in the last century when 'walking it off' was regarded as cutting edge technology” reminded me of my Narc mum (who seems more like Jack every day) telling my big brother his leg was just badly bruised and he should go out and play. Some days later he walked himself to the childrens hospital in Manc (Boothhall) which was about 3 miles from our house, where they had to operate on his gangrenous leg, they said it was a couple of days shy of being whipped off, where he remained for 3 months. Said it was the best 3 months of his childhood, had his own bed, fed 3 meals a day, didn’t get battered daily and the nurses were lush, I was jealous!
 
Reactions: 57
I am glad the squigs managed to restore her faith in sandwiches. I dread to think what manner of existential crisis may have ensued if Jack hadn't regained her faith in sandwiches.

This is like when I'm watching the garden birds out the window and they all decide to go and hide in the big hedge. Only more boring.
 
Reactions: 46
I'm confused - has she forgotten how old her child is?
Why is she asking for butties for a 9 year old, then saying it's for SB's lunch. Am I missing something?

Also - squig who said Ghee, jizzum and waffle - get to fuck. Kids want Billy Bear meat and dairylea.
 
Reactions: 41
STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT YOUR IDIOT FOLLOWERS WITH BULLSHIT ABOUT SANDWICHES AND DONATE THE TEN THOUSAND POUNDS TO THE TRUSSELL TRUST IMMEDIATELY YOU THIEVING FUCK.

And wafer thin ham. Now fuck off.
 
Reactions: 61
Make it stop! Why does all her food have family names?! Why lie about making and eating sandwiches nightly?

WHY THO?!
Makes sandwiches nightly, has to crowd-source sandwich ideas. Also enjoying the stipulation that it needs to be a simple recipe when she is the master of overcomplicating things. Just see what's in the fridge and slap it between two slices of bread DEAR GOD

ETA:
Peanut butter and mayo between two slices of toast every time. I tried to get my ex to try this once and she refused point blank. Couple years later she text me about it and told me she had misjudged me. Try it.
 
Reactions: 45
Hard relate - walking myself back from Hope after a trampoline accident at school was NOT FUN - had to ask passersby for directions and my back has never been right since - ironically RMCH would have been easier but it had closed its A&E by then I think.
 
Reactions: 23
Why would you make a sandwich for yourself the night before, in order to eat for lunch the next day, in your own home. Why would you do that?
 
Reactions: 76
I am prepared to inform Jack of my favourite sandwich from when I was 9 once she confirms the £10,000 is safely in the hands of the Trussell Trust and provides a breakdown of the other funds raised and which charities received this.
 
Reactions: 61
I can't love this enough. Superb work
 
Reactions: 20
She never seems to have lasting repercussions from these accidents either, unless there's a deadline/charity donation/tax man looming. I got a traffic cone into the coccyx aged 10 playing footie and it still fucks me up now sometimes. I might start using that as my go-to for pulling a sicky. 'Sorry but I took a cone to the arse 24 years ago and therefore am too incapable to come to work'.
 
Reactions: 52
You know SB is not gonna let that horror ruin his school lunches too. Bet his dad fills up his card and says “just take the butties, bin them on your way to school and tell her it was the best sandwich ever, get yourself some fish fingers, chips and beans from the canteen”
 
Reactions: 47
Even though she didn’t put a date on it (reader, she did) the VBI is now a month overdue. Wonder what the Pratchett family think about it all? Funny how no one else who blew smoke up her arse and all the media outlets that went on about it, have followed it up. Me, I can’t wait to see it. All those receipts with no brand or weight information on, contributing to a truly forensic economic masterpiece…must be days away, surely
 
Reactions: 41
Why she acting like she invented putting brown sugar in crumble it would be my first choice lol
 
Reactions: 33
I was just thinking that his dad probably gives him the lion's share of lunches and SB must be so popular when he brings in all his leftovers from Greggs.
 
Reactions: 40
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.