Jack Monroe #261 Serial loser

[BeautifulTrauma]

I bet she hasn’t even dyed her hair, it’s just another source of tweeting absolutely every random thing that comes into her head. She would be off her face on the dopamine of a licking comments if she posted a picture, so it didn’t happen.

Also, I have never known anyone change their identity so much over the space of a few years, gay, straight, bi, trans, non binary, not trans, disabled, all of these things she has appropriated over the years. When you write it out, it just shows how bleeping ridiculous she is.

 

[Pavlova]

What was she going to sue you for?

If I say, she will 🔺️ me, and so will her flying monkeys. I'm actually more scared of them, than what she'd do to me. I can say that I did stand up to her, I stayed calm, was firm and to the point and she ducked off. I think if I ever saw her irl, I'd her on the nose, kick her in the shins.

 

[jenny2603]

If I say, she will 🔺️ me, and so will her flying monkeys. I'm actually more scared of them, than what she'd do to me. I can say that I did stand up to her, I stayed calm, was firm and to the point and she ducked off. I think if I ever saw her irl, I'd her on the nose, kick her in the shins.

Bloody hell. What a bleeping rotter she is and you're right about the flying monkeys. She does attract some absolute horrors.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh I didn't read the tweet properly, my bad.
I don't understand why the working title is apparently an inside joke, but that's probably because I'm not enough of a maverick.

Well, I'd better get back to hoarding rubbish in anticipation for Jack one day telling me how I can feed myself or heat my bed with it.

Jack doesn’t either
The joke is everyone knows she does F all work

I feel sorry for Mr Slocooker too - sounds like he’s put in far more effort than Jack has.

Yeah he’s doing something good and twitter twunts are projecting oppression on to him

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I just want to say I have been reading up the posts on the dr and I think he is doing a great job. i hate the way people claim only they can understand
Without going into detail it was amazing when a charity reached out to my parents on a particular issue and they were given the option of a place to stay.

 

[EllaEm87]

I just want to say I have been reading up the posts on the dr and I think he is doing a great job. i hate the way people claim only they can understand
Without going into detail it was amazing when a charity reached out to my parents on a particular issue and they were given the option of a place to stay.

YES. Stop kicking people who are trying to help. Just cos they’ve never lived it / are not connected enough doesn’t mean they don’t want to help. Stop being martyrs and let help come!

 

[Boyo]

Hi folks! It’s your favourite smol slop goblin here, coming to you via a time portal from the year 2579. As you can see, I’ve ended up as a talking-head-in-a-jar, so something of a positive turn of events really. The #VimesBootsIndex is nearly complete. I just need to add some additional items, like SP Jet-pak Polish and of course my now famous own-brand line of faves, like ‘Just beans (pre-rinsed)’, ‘Aunt Jackie’s Ready Grated Corned Beef’, and ‘Mandarin Mis-shapes’, all available in handy tins, I mean cans, no…tins. I keep forgetting that those words are interchangeable (like herbs). Unfortunately, due to a mix-up at my producers, none of the cans will have ring-pulls but don’t worry! Just think of all the injustice in this world, like my constant side-lining by the establishment just cos they can’t handle the truth from a tattoo-wielding, gob-in-a-jar, and you’ll soon be ripping those cans open with your bare hands! Right, gotta go. I’ve heard that Space-Waitrose Lidl has a new line in stair shampoo and it’s only one teleport stop away for me. Byeeee!

 

[Orphan_Black]

Hi folks! It’s your favourite smol slop goblin here, coming to you via a time portal from the year 2579. As you can see, I’ve ended up as a talking-head-in-a-jar, so something of a positive turn of events really. The #VimesBootsIndex is nearly complete. I just need to add some additional items, like SP Jet-pak Polish and of course my now famous own-brand line of faves, like ‘Just beans (pre-rinsed)’, ‘Aunt Jackie’s Ready Grated Corned Beef’, and ‘Mandarin Mis-shapes’, all available in handy tins, I mean cans, no…tins. I keep forgetting that those words are interchangeable (like herbs). Unfortunately, due to a mix-up at my producers, none of the cans will have ring-pulls but don’t worry! Just think of all the injustice in this world, like my constant side-lining by the establishment just cos they can’t handle the truth from a tattoo-wielding, gob-in-a-jar, and you’ll soon be ripping those cans open with your bare hands! Right, gotta go. I’ve heard that Space-Waitrose Lidl has a new line in stair shampoo and it’s only one teleport stop away for me. Byeeee!

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I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to see her BBQ sauce hair!!!

 

[StringyMango]

@Boyo
Tattoo wielding gob in a jar
🧑‍

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Since she says it's both 'bbq sauce' and 'purple', I'm gonna hazard a guess that it's...brown with perhaps a purplish undertone in a certain light. As you know she loves to build things up way beyond what they actually are. So yeah, brown. The main question is how the duck are the fans meant to recognise her at ASDA now.

Remember when she was no longer using hair products? Embracing her greys? She really will make literally anything into a massive social media post and declare it everything she's ever wanted then duck off and do something else the next day. We're TIRED.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Poor Doctor Slow Cooker. Does he not realise that now she’s all famous and on the telly box her endorsement doesn’t come for free. Why else would she be so keen to dissociate herself from this? Yet when questions are asked about genuine areas of concern it’s complete radio silence. He probably makes more difference in a morning’s work than she’s ever done so it’s sad to see a grovelling apology. At least everyone is absolutely clear: some random, qualified at nothing twunt, with even bleeper hair than last week doesn’t approve of what he’s trying to do. That’s what’s important...right?

She mentioned the P word...interesting.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I presume she is getting her hair dyed somewhere nice before or after her meeting with her publisher.
After her weekend announcement her Big Week has been quiet so far hasn't it?

 

[HotesTilaire]

I thought the Patreon being mentioned was odd. There some reason why, we just don’t know what it is yet.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I'm not normally a fan of benefit challenges and the like as they can be a way to try to prove it's doable and do have an air of poverty tourism about them (like a certain trip to Tanzania...) However the doctor is doing it from such a genuine place, recognises it's not the full story/experience and is doing so much to raise funds/promote excellent work that the vitriol he's been subject to is completely ridiculous and a twitter storm nonsense of the worst kind. He'll have raised more funds and provided more practical support than Jack has in the last few weeks, with none of the self promotion.

£10k due to the trussel trust in how many days??

 

[Cookiecookie]

From an 2013 AIBU thread on that other site . The full post is on page 7 if anyone wants to read her entire reply View attachment 1083844

She alternates between implying it was a magical, drunken one off, to it being a planned thing on her part. I lean towards her baby trapping the guy, but it obviously takes two to tango, and condoms exist for a reason. She's just lucky she picked a decent bloke who wants to raise SB, because let's be honest, it's not her doing it.

I can't believe she still acts like tattoos and hair dye are so out there. They've been mainstream for so long now, it's unusual to meet anyone who doesn't have a tattoo tbh, and my great granny (who is DEAD) was fond of a blue rinse back in the 80s, and she was born in 1900.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I'm not normally a fan of benefit challenges and the like as they can be a way to try to prove it's doable and do have an air of poverty tourism about them (like a certain trip to Tanzania...) However the doctor is doing it from such a genuine place, recognises it's not the full story/experience and is doing so much to raise funds/promote excellent work that the vitriol he's been subject to is completely ridiculous and a twitter storm nonsense of the worst kind. He'll have raised more funds and provided more practical support than Jack has in the last few weeks, with none of the self promotion.

£10k due to the trussel trust in how many days??

Next Friday is 4th March when the teemill monies will be transferred to Fack. I’m giving her until 4pm Mon 7th to post the receipt of the donation before I log it with action fraud

She alternates between implying it was a magical, drunken one off, to it being a planned thing on her part. I lean towards her baby trapping the guy, but it obviously takes two to tango, and condoms exist for a reason. She's just lucky she picked a decent bloke who wants to raise SB, because let's be honest, it's not her doing it.

I can't believe she still acts like tattoos and hair dye are so out there. They've been mainstream for so long now, it's unusual to meet anyone who doesn't have a tattoo tbh, and my great granny (who is DEAD) was fond of a blue rinse back in the 80s, and she was born in 1900.

Don’t forget there’s another version of the conception

Spoiler: TW CSA and basic AF views on gender and sexuality"

That the primary school teacher abuser was stalking her so she cut her hair and made herself unattractive to men and became a les and SBs dad protected her from the stalker who followed her that day hence they ended up at the flat and that’s when the magic happened

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[HotesTilaire]

Morning Marm, nice work there catching a bit of Rankin shade

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 1083004

Does she not know the difference between £ and $

 

[SarcasticEllis]

View attachment 1084207

maybe you picked it up from the Rose St Sainsburys, Jack