Jack Monroe #260 Stop trying to make macro philanthropy happen, it’s not going to happen

[Dogmuck]

Jack

Also Jack

Jack Monroe #108 You’re really good on camera mate, honestly

At this point she probably could skip a week and save herself £20 as she has so much already in her cupboards plus all those frozen batch cooked meals she hasn’t eaten yet. Seems a bit silly to keep spending £20 and making so many leftovers but not eating them. Unless...

tattle.life

 

[instacharlie]

I'm going to make two assertions. I have no evidence for these claims, but I am willing to bet that -

a) almost all women have, at some point, used a wad of toilet paper as a makeshift sanitary pad when unable to find the right products for whatever reason.

b) nobody in the history of the universe has ever used a sport sock as a makeshift sanitary pad.

Sock I can kind of get, but newspaper? Not very absorbent but I'm assuming very crunchy? I just find it hard to believe that Jack went through anything this bad whilst her parents were down the road.

 

[Thank(space)you]

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I wouldn't feed this to my imaginary dog

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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Pink squig gives off big client director vibes with this cringe needless overhype of what is really just a tweet. An unneeded throwback to pre pandemic times being the first to a meeting and having to endure this uniquely deranged #business small talk

 

[EnglishRoseIrishRover]

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So didn’t she say the Volcanic Bile Index would be coming mid February? As today is the 20th which I calculate to be 71.4% of February- significantly over the 50% which would be mid February.

Can we therefore conclude that it is late (like her taxes) or it is not coming?

 

[jenny2603]

One of the polls was deleted.

And this:
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I'd like to think Jack's mum has been in touch "behind the scenes" and said she's never made champ with a gammon steak in her life.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Geetbo]

Thank god egg Jack is back. I was worried we were going to get something much worse after the chaos of the last two days. Also pleased to see she’s still got the knack of both under and over cooking the same egg.

 

[ednaturnblad]

That tweet in the last thread about needing a TV co presenter who would help her as she is so shy, is so annoying.
Why should another presenter have to carry her? Presuming they would be on the same wage. She has zero talent for TV, especially when cooking.
It would have happened by now if it was going to. Even This Morning keep giving her opportunities but they are never backed up with a regular slot - which in this age of rising food costs is quite amazing. She *should* fit the brief exactly. But she is awkward, almost rude and her food revolting. She is the anti face of nice food on a budget.

Her TV appearances usually come with her moaning as well. Eg taking about how stressful it is, how she takes 20 hours to prep for a 6 minute segment, gets up in the early hours, needs to be helped to bed after a busy media week and so on.

Her lingreenie segment on This Morning came off like she hadn't practised or thought about it at all. Basic stuff like not having her back to the camera and pre chopping/crumbling the feta for example she didn't do.

I'm sure TV appearances are quite hard but it's not exactly professional is it. Give the opportunities to someone who wants them and can cope with them.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

Fucking hell, it’s taken some time away and a two week foreign holiday (not Edinburgh) to get over the Vindictive Bog Index and I come back to a revisit of Topless Jack and bum guns. Fellow Tattlers, you do the work of both God and the devil .

 

[SquattyPotty]

Do you think her Glastonbury lanyard has The Talent printed on it?

Argh, this is up there with the biggest cringe moments. As well as that pinned tweet with the DKL announcement that said "EMBARGO LIFTED!" (that is TV parlance don't you know, for when you have been quietly working on something behind the scenes and are finally allowed to let your waiting, adoring public in on the big secret). Oh and ofc the "Mornin' boys!" at the firefighters' tent at Glasto.

Dear god...why is my brain full of these things? I was watching some videos the other day of when my (almost 4yo) daughter was about 18 months old, and it was like seeing them for the first time as I can't remember those specific moments. Yet I can remember this shite. Who is the dickhead really?

 

[Django]

If she is allegedly disabled by all these afflictions and ailments why have we never heard of her being assessed by the disability bodies to ensure she can get the appropriate benefits and support? She could become the smol pixie poster person for disability activism. Oh, but of course no tip jar / PayPal allowed then I am assuming?

It's also worth remembering that no disability charity is aligned with Jack, despite her claims of arthritis, autism, BFRB etc etc.

 

[Django]

UK Generation X: most popular supermarket chains 2024 | Statista

In the United Kingdom, Aldi, Tesco, and M&S Food were the most popular three supermarket chains among the Generation X cohort surveyed in the first quarter of 2024.

www.statista.com

Jack really is a parochial little twerp.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Ahhhh the mystery male….taking our Jackie gal to Asda-
Probably going to sneak some decent non- pulse/beans into the trolley

I honestly think it's SB's dad. She has to have supervised visits only for some reason now (imo). Maybe something to do with the catastrophes over new years?

 

[FlashBoof]

Seeing and reading that Samsung PR campaign has sort of reassured me a little. At least I wasn’t completely insane to think highly of her back in the day. Clearly, so did others.

it also highlighted just how massively her brand has criumbled. Here we are - 5 years down the line, and all she has in her life is a big old cat and the poor fishing for cash. Even when she grabs a brief moment in the sun like this Asda PR stunt, she still has to embellish, outright lie or be a knobber and ruin it for herself.

Imagine going from being feted by worldwide brands, national newspapers, righ girlfriends, government high rollers, private club memberships, award ceremonies and everything else …to what she is now - and to know it is ENTIRELY of your own doing. I’d be pretty depressed too.

She is still a twat though.

 

[LavaFlake]

This was definitely the "look what you're missing LJC" era.

 

[Hollaaa]

Spoiler: Ooh la la!

 

[HotesTilaire]

I hate cooking bacon Jack, fucksakes we get it, you can get really cheap shit bits of leftover bacon to have with the shit leftover bollock sausages. She goes on about it like she’s discovered a Primark dupe for Urban Decay eyeshadow that’s just as pigmented but only costs £4. BORING. Also I’m almost afraid to mention it but remember when she couldn’t stop quick fucking pickling everything. We get it, 15 minutes in vinegar, it’s pickled
Get some new material. Go and pretend there are no petrols in your local BP then get the petrols put back or something

 

[Raker]

Hang on.. I thought she knew every tin ingredient like the back of her hand. I feel cheated!

Jack’s idea of what’s happening in Asda warehouses across the country

God she’s such a dim fucker. Honestly…

<Jim Macdonald voice> she hasn’t the brains she was born with

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

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Surely farmers hand rearing meat aren’t producing such volumes of waste they can fulfil orders from big chain stores…?