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jenny2603

VIP Member
Why would you have a drawer full of cancelled cards? Cut them up and bin them. And who has a ‘spare’ bank card? Is that even possible?
This weeks Star Tip comes from Jack in Southend. Jack wins a £25!

Confuse burglars and visiting fraudsters by using a selection of cancelled cards as decoys. The thieves will be so busy gathering up your decoy cards they won't have time to take your valuables.
 
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MancBee

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Froggies

Chatty Member
I’ve not seen that photo before 🤣 that has to be one of the worst fake sleep photos I’ve seen 🤣🤣
 
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TurnedUpInTipp

VIP Member
I was a school nurse in a PRU until a few years back- I was chased round the room once until I agreed to sing along to a fall out boy song out loud (it's a long story.)
It was the best nursing job I've ever done ❤
I LOVED every minute of it.
Had a kid take me out to the car park to point out my car so he'd never break into it!
 
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ednaturnblad

Well-known member
Why does she always makes"fancy food"
This is Jack in a nutshell. She doesn’t do edible budget recipes, she does shit versions of ✨fancy food✨.

Rather than just admit that some meals aren’t cheap, she insists you can make anything from tins, bottled lemon and black pepper. With an egg on top ofc.
 
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ChickenPorridge

VIP Member
I can picture 5 years from now: a lone straggler squig softly, gently inquiring whatever happened with the VBI only to be squawked at by an ever increasingly bitter Jack that it's AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF WORK!!!
 
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ednaturnblad

Well-known member
Yes that is my feeling. Her absolutely nauseating toadying is self preservation. Surprised Asda are going along with it but I suppose she is completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

(And that cheap bacon is awful. I tried it once thinking it could be a sort of background flavour in something - but it is so fatty, salty and slimey most of it was unusable. I would go without bacon than ever buy that again. A completely false economy).
Oh so you didn’t get the secret artisan hand reared bacon then? Maybe next time.
 
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Django

VIP Member
The only thing I ever do with tinned spuds is drain and rinse thoroughly (no, really), crush with a fork and add sea salt, POBP and a good slug of a peppery olive oil. Works hot or cold.

Coming soon: what to do with all that saved potato water. :D
You should save it and add all that salty brine to your next bath. Punch some holes in the tin and add a tealight for your very own home made Dead Sea spa experience.
 
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instacharlie

VIP Member
An hour's walk for Jack is around 40 minutes for us non grifters. Just over 2 miles. Still no-one in her life that would offer a lift if needed?

As for cooking bacon it's like a cheap meat roulette. 3 quarters of the pack may well be just fat. Even if it were a decent bit of meat there's no way you can get 10 meals out of 500g, even for a smol teeny tiny urchin.
 
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Clovis

VIP Member
Not to go all Sali Hughes but some cheap things are just better because that’s what you grew up with, or you prefer the flavour. I’m sure the Queen sometimes just fancies some beans on toast. The fetishisation of food is peak 21st century.
There are some cheap things that I prefer:
own brand Jaffa cakes (lovely dry sponge, rubbery jelly, heaven!)
tinned tuna (don't like the glass jar ones)
tinned soup (I don't like the FANCY fresh ones)

Some things taste pretty much the same to me so I get the cheap ones, i.e. packets of nuts, peanut butter, fromage frais.

However, I got some chocolate biscuits from Lidl last week and they were not good. Reader, I could barely finish the entire packet!
 
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Orphan_Black

VIP Member
I actually bloody love tinned spuds!
Can't lie, tinned spud curry is still a fav of mine from my student days. (Just tinned spuds and a jarred sauce, you can go fancy and add peppers, treat yo'self).

It's sounds like a proper Jack recipe written down, I feel shame.
 
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BlendedSlop

VIP Member
We get it Jack, you have a FRIEND and are possibly getting your leg over. Nobody cares.

Hope your telegraphed absence from the shitty bungalow doesn't result in all your very existing work on the Vigorous Bootycall Index being stolen by your regular burglars.

 
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jenny2603

VIP Member
Ha ! Thank you @Clovis
Wasn’t the Edinburgh trip strange ? All that way for a lovely but expensive sleep on her own and then she didn’t do anything. Apart from the usual nonsense of course. But what was it for ? Why go all that way to do stuff that she does at home ?
It was bizarre. I *think* it was intended to spark nostalgic romantic feelings in LJC after she LEFT. I just keep trying to imagine how you'd feel if you'd split up with someone and they responded by going to Edinburgh, titting about in wigs and then posting evidence of this lunacy all over social media.
 
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Wooh

VIP Member
French hand soap! But suggests 40p washing up liquid for the piss poor members of society!
Do you ever go to the linked ancient scrolls of previous threads, forget to return to current thread and read a couple of pages quite happily *because her rubbish is just on permanent repeat so it makes sense*! Everyone here is so switched on, witty, doing things. Jack's still running around with wigs and funnels and yellow stickers like a marble in a wheel
 
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