Jack Monroe #26 Jack be bitter, Jack be quick, Jack stop being such a dick.

[NorthernSoul]

Morning all . Came across this little gem of an article that you might like to peruse for your Sunday morning reading. The article is from Feb 2019. Quite a few LOL moments contained for you to splutter your coffee on. My personal favourite alla Twitter Thank goodness JM keeps us all under control...... via the block button

“Recently she’s cut her online media time, aiming for 15 minutes a day.
“To have that many people demanding your attention – if I wanted that kind of bloody nonsense, I’d have been a primary school teacher at a pupil referral unit! It’s like being playground monitor, all these unruly people expecting me to keep them under control. I’ve walked out the gate now, you can all do it yourselves!”

Jack Monroe, Bootstrap Cook interview - spilling the beans on tins, Twitter and talking about gender

The campaigning cook is on a mission to help everyone on a budget find the fun in feeding themselves

www.scotsman.com

 

[Britney Spiers Morgan]

Noooo! I thought i’d done it right!! *headdesk* Gah. And I was only paid a five figure sum to do it, too.

in all seriousness, i’m really sorry.

ps it’s happened to me too so I really am.

pps the threads move so fast hopefully it will still be fitting for the next one.

Ah, don’t worry about it. I only cried a little bit when I saw what had happened.

Just regretting not liking my own suggestion now because that would have forced a dramatic tiebreak situation in which @Blurp and I would have gone toe-to-toe while everyone else stood in a circle around us chanting “fight, fight, fight” (please say that it wasn’t just my school where that was a thing!)

 

[Pocahontas]

One of my favourites:
“I've been watching you. Especially you, prancing like a tit. You want working on boy.“.
But I love the whole film (first saw it in a Leicester Sq cinema solo when it first came out in 1987) and know it almost by heart.

You see, I always knew I liked you.

...the cheating was much worse than I thought. Im devastated. Absolutely devastated.

You poor love. What a shit. It’s clearly going to hurt so much for a while, but one day you will wake up and it will hurt a bit less, and the next day a bit less, and then the next day a bit less.

Until then, try to remember that there are people in your life who will treat you the way you deserve and treasure your love as it should be. Love is precious and trust is precious and if he cannot value those things with you, he isn’t worth the time and love that you have given him. Get lots of good hugs off your kids. I’m very sorry that this has happened to you

 

[Againagainagain]

Morning Hausfrau,
I’ve spent some of this morning catching up on other Tattle threads as this one has been a full time job recently.
One in particular is a local influencer with questionable...everything; who initially brought me to Tattle with her rants about the site.

Some of the posts literally breath away. Opinions and comments on everything, stuff in public/private knowledge. Really really unkind. Jack.’s thread is not at like that. This is an interesting and thoughtful thread with genuine community spirit and care. She should have a read of some others...

 

[Hunty]

I'm watching Sir Matt of the Forearms South Africa TV show, oh man, he laughs and smiles so much, it's fab to see him like that plus rolled up sleeves for daaaaaayyyys

 

[Tabitha D]

It must be break-up related surely. “Look what you’re missing, all my followers think I’m smoking hawt” etc. Either that or she is about to set up an OnlyFans account.
Who’s advising her, for pity’s sake.

 

[AmTellinYa]

Be right back, I'm going to rinse my eyes with bleach.

 

[Harrybosch]

Hopefully they'll invest in more into creating ethical vaccines one day.
And vegans wont have to use animal ingredient vaccines.

The amount of judgement people who decide not to vaccinate for their beliefs etc is colossal.
Bar the royal family.

Piss boiling everywhere.
Probably another bladder infection.

Oh, don't worry. I judge the royal family harshly.

 

[NP]

Love it! Is she responding to us with the pallet of mayo comment? I feel she's reaching out to us from the other side, much like the voice. 'You're on and we're here, Jack!'

Also, what is the new format? Have I missed something? It was always her rambling, the eye of Sauron and a much more competent guest.



View attachment 152557

Maybe the new format is turning off comments and only having approved Hellman’s employees viewer queries. I wish hitting my stride at work meant being paid at least £10k to make a sandwich.

 

[Saturn.]

I'm not familiar with Twitter etiquette, but is retweeting your own posts that got attention the online equivalent of the Uncle who keeps on repeating the joke he told that got a laugh back in 2014?

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[MancBee]

"Details to follow, this is just a light teaser," she said on Instagram.

It's the Instagram equivalent of vaguebooking isn't it? It is no less obnoxious and annoying, the tool of a teenager desperate for attention. If you've got something to say, just fucking say it. What's with all the stupid intrigue?

 

[Starsanddaggers]

Had nightmares about egg sandwiches and defaced cats.
Woke up with the baby bungee jumping off my nipples like a free for all buffet.
Have to take no1 to hospital appointment psych CAHMS paediatrics.
So tired.

This is why i get so cross at Jack glamourising her mental health, "disabilities" and crap sandwiches

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

View attachment 153401

Less likely to say 'What the fuck is this supposed to be?'

There isn't much more soul destroying than to come home with loads of lovely ingredients, looking forward to some relaxing cooking at the weekend after your high profile and pay job has meant you've barely had time to grab a sandwich, only to get up at 9am to find somebody insists upon doing the cooking 'because it's MY job' and then proceeds to massacre everything because they got bored and wandered off halfway through, didn't bother cooking half the ingredients and has left the kitchen in such a state that you can't get in there to make a cuppa and if you could, you'd have to climb over three fridges and two sideboards to get to the milk.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

She's added 'queer' to her Twitter bio.

This isn't a very interesting update to report, but we can't expect weird underwear photos every day.

 

[blurstoftimes]

The maddest thing about Jack's vegan(ish)ism is that after curing herself of meat addiction (to be added to the list of ailments?) and banging on about cruelty and abattoirs for a week or two and forcing SB to buy his own sausages...

...she went back to the cheapest, nastiest meat products. She's always eating jarred hot dogs FFS. There was no "veganism's not for me but I have learned to pay attention to provenance", it was "I now eat vegan 90% of the time and grated corned beef the rest!"

(Do we think the 90% veganism falls entirely into the 99.9% of her life lived outside the public eye? I suppose it's the sort of thing a professional food writer would prefer to keep quiet...unlike labia tucking.)

This really bothers me too - Gizzi Erksine is a good example of someone who eats meat but is so passionate about promoting ethical farming and being aware of where you buy your meat from ie not battery farmed supermarket shit. But going to buy ethical meat from an organic local butcher is too FANCY for jack isn’t it

 

[blurstoftimes]

Perhaps she wants to date people who don’t know how to cook / know even less than her about food so they can’t be judgmental about what she prepares.

If you were served a bowl of corned beef chilli or her lasagne, and could cook yourself, you’d be like ‘Good god, woman - what IS this?’
If you couldn’t cook yourself, maybe you’d think ‘Ah we’ll, it’s better than super noodles for the third time running’

Haha totally - I can only imagine that this strong relationship preference is a direct result of Allegra giving some much too honest feedback about Jack's slop

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

"I've hit my stride as a presenter"

Ok.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

...the cheating was much worse than I thought. Im devastated. Absolutely devastated.

Bless you, don't really know what to say hun
At least you know the truth now and aren't being deceived anymore. That's probably little consolation at the moment though xx

 

[Readingismyhobby]

I remember reading JM saying she had tried alcohol to find out if she really was an alcoholic! If you are recovering you don’t do that!
Plus if you relapse, you start again counting the days/weeks/ months of your sobriety. Also, recovering alcoholics do not drink low alcohol wine/beer.
She is a joke. Definitely not a recovering alcoholic.

 

[Saint_clemmie]