Jack Monroe #251 There isn’t a big enough salary in the world

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Here we fucking go guys, it’s Patreon month end:

Firstly please ask questions & question any assumptions, it only stands to make this work better. This is not the VPL index for people with KS2 maths.

Secondly pre empting some confusion re: opening / closing versus what we can see online now. She closed the month with 728 Patrons so will have been paid on this figure, the figure you’re seeing now is plus additions. The monthly updates have always worked on v specific timings so it’s staying that way for comparability, we can do ad hoc updates as the situ changes.

Our traditional monthly update, she gained 198.4% in month and lost no one.



Yes this is depressing but interesting as we’d always assumed that those that left did so passively through payment failures - this suggests otherwise, that they are active cancellations as no one went in to cancel their unfulfilled subscription

With regards to revenue estimates, we always go the most conservative with our £3.50 min less max 12% fees. This shows a range, going from left to right in the blue row you see how a change in platform fee effects her take home. From top row to bottom you see how an increase in the blended avg sub (eg how people are distributed across the tiers) impacts her take home.


* going left to right along the blue line you see how a change in fees effects her take home, still assuming 100% of ppl are on the £3.50 tier depending on their fees, she could take home £2.2k - £2.5k this month.
* I think the reality is closer to the higher end in grey. Doing some playing with distributing her subs across tiers, keeping the majority in the £3.50 but moving just 20% (n = 146 subs) up to the £7.0 physical goods tier yields an avg sub of £5.25. Again keeping everyone in £3.50 but moving just 10% up to £24pcm (n = 73) yields an avg sub of £6.17. Very small changes can have quite an impact on the avg sub figure so it can quickly move above our assumed minimum or £3.50
* conscious of sharing too many tables and overwhelming / boring you all but I created a distribution I felt happy with, with 45% of subs still in the minimum tier and 85% of total paying under £10pcm and this gave us an avg sub of £8.77.
* Therefore I think it’s wholly reasonable to assume she could have taken home something between £3.5k - £5.1k this month. This doesn’t account for the double payment she’d have received.
 
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I hope she's uses the spare change to buy some Waitrose biscuits for the poor urchins in the foodbank.
 
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Like seriously, I don't buy the Value range for myself so why on earth would I pick it for someone else? It wouldn't even cross my mind, Speaks volumes that her mind works that way.
 
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Like seriously, I don't buy the Value range for myself so why on earth would I pick it for someone else? It wouldn't even cross my mind, Speaks volumes that her mind works that way.
Exactly, like nobody reading/hearing her is a non-foodbank user who buys all value range?
Also, calling @discokebab as foodbank Frau, I assumed (maybe wrong, pls let me know) biscuits is a rubbish foodbank item. You can get a pack of biscuits for 20-30p anyway, biscuits in the collection points get crushed, of all the sweet treats to put in biscuits are the worst unless you’re going to donate a whole retail pack.
 
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Quoting myself to say that this is England only, which makes her "I live in one of the most deprived constituencies *in the UK*" even more, uh, disingenuous.
 
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Why has no squiggle pointed out that instead of spending £15 on a MAGA t-shirt that brings in £3 to the TT (figures are estimates), you could just donate £15 directly to TT?

You also don't need to announce it or get praised for it. Try it out, little squiggles. It might blow your minds to do something good non-performatively.
 
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Dead People Can’t Riot?? I can’t decide if this is incitement to riot, or saying kill the people who do riot?? Like what other version of this is there - where’s the good meaning? Even trying to think from her perspective, I don’t see how this could mean anything good?

Rioters end up hurt, dead, or in prison. Innocent bystanders, homes, businesses are hurt and destroyed. Even if the cause is ‘justified’, rioting is never the answer, and never has been the answer in the whole of history. I would love to see an example where a nice contained riot has made a massive change, and nobody was killed. As someone who calls themselves variously a writer/author/word wrangler/journalist, does she have so little faith in her ability to effect change without inciting violence? What a stupid fucking loser.

I had a newborn baby during the last lot of riots, living in central London, and it was absolutely terrifying. That’ll fucking DO Jack!

(oh and PS I had Healthy Start vouchers and went to the local children’s Centre for support LOADS in that period 2010-2013, because they existed!)
 
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We don’t call our old riots that any more, in Liverpool it’s known as the Uprising.
That shit in London ten years ago wasn’t an uprising that was a riot in Tottenham followed by some bored young people doing full scale asbo shit mostly.
 
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I find her exchange with orange juice squig so wrong on so many levels. I think @Veronicaaa has already summed it up better than I could. What did you do for YOUR POOR? Well look what I did for my personal poor. It's disgusting and one of the aspects that makes Twitter such a 'hellsite'.

This constant performing of how good you are, when it's probably all lies or weird exaggerations to make yourself look better.

Jack, I'm glad to see you've finally encouraged squigs to donate to TT. You could and should do this EVERY SINGLE DAY. You have so many people looking to you right now. Stop making t-shirts and talking about M&S biscuits. There is no wrong way to give to a foodbank. Just tell people to google what their local foodbank is looking for and give that, or better still, give money.
 
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Quoting myself to say that this is England only, which makes her "I live in one of the most deprived constituencies *in the UK*" even more, uh, disingenuous.
Her only exprience of Scotland is George Street in Edinburgh. Given that she has no imagination (as per evidence of her recipes), perhaps she can't picture thre are any deprived areas that are not near her in Essex.
 
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Adding to that, can you just imagine Jack (either the real version or even Twitter gobshite Jack) at an actual riot? She’d be calling daddy to come pick her up pronto. And then collaborating with the police because she’s definitely a grass
 
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Now that her tip jar runneth over, I'm really hoping for some new sideboards tbh.
 
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Adding to that, can you just imagine Jack (either the real version or even Twitter gobshite Jack) at an actual riot? She’d be calling daddy to come pick her up pronto. And then collaborating with the police because she’s definitely a grass
Defo have her stab vest on
 
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Omg,

I am all for this I hate the performative bollocks that comes with a good deed.

If you want to do something nice, just do it.
 
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