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[Flash123]

I don't know where this will land, so sorry, but....are they not meant to be on the left?! I think every house I've ever lived in has had it on the left.

Grateful for any donations to help rectify this situation *rattle rattle*

Mine is on the right and I don’t know if it is supposed to be. Think any family I recall is on the right too. Maybe it’s a Northern Ireland thing to have it on the right and her mum has commented on it

 

[Skyfall]

I seem to remember when someone came on here who knew the landlord that it was on a rolling month by month contract, and she was late with her rent. I can see no reason for either of these things to have changed

Maybe our Jackie gal got herself a guarantor?

 

[HotesTilaire]

I don’t want her to cook but I’m not guilty on the kitchen design that Jack did
I really looked for smeeee heeee in the gifs, without wanting to “completed it, mate” y’all. That’s tonight’s insomnia viewing sorted!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Have I got to boycott Marmite too? Ffs.

I'm a Vegemite gal myself, anyway.

 

[threeSMEGfridges]

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That’s a 2nd hand shop not a library FFS

 

[Captainmouse]

Idk if any of your know Muthahood on Instagram but she sellotaped wallpaper on her walls using double sided tape. It actually looked pretty good and she did a tutorial of how to do it

That said, I wouldn't wallpaper a kitchen because of the grease

Also steam

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Speaking of Jack Does Italian...

In the run-up to the Brexit referendum, Jack decided to do a series of recipes celebrating the many cultures of Europe. This lasted for precisely one entry: pizza.

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"the Sicilian chef who snuck across the ocean" suggests a poor understanding of both geography and immigration law. Later, Jack encourages people to put leftover tikka masala on their pizza, which is possibly the fastest way to piss off an Italian.

PIZZA.

First up in celebrating our multi-cultural foodie society, is the great Italian classic, pizza. For those of you so deeply ingrained in patriotism that you have never had, enjoyed or endorsed a piz…

cookingonabootstrap.com

As a footnote, Jack's This Is England Brexit tag would later be used for mushroom rogan josh, ramen, and peanut butter frozen yogurt. If she ever returns to Tattle, WHY?! will be my one question for her.

This was when she was doing her multicultural cookery book.

 

[Skyfall]

Absolutely love the forensic Patreon spreadsheets. Of course what we need to also bear in mind is the ‘tip jar’ and the ‘Twitter tips’ that are separate.

Rehab & therapy for 12 weeks sure is expensice

 

[FrumpyCat]

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Random fucking capitals and Renting. Jack is so fucking trolling me

 

[EllaEm87]

Ahhh, so she's sleeping in the stockroom.
Gotcha!

Also the room that has her huge chest of makeup

 

[Boyo]

I did too! Was also fine after my first two apart from being tired and arm pain. Day after my booster I had chills, felt sick, no energy etc. On the plus side it was gone after 24 hrs.

Same here. First two AZ, no probs apart from sore arm, booster Pfizer, awful for 24 hrs afterwards.
On topic - when is the squiggle uprising? She’s not even trying any more, it’s all so blatant.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Surely they must see her lies?

Also: mildly OT but seen this and wish someone would catch on to Jack’s fauxverty.

Rhodes scholar who claimed she was poor loses place at Oxford

A woman who won a coveted scholarship in the US to study at Oxford after claiming she was poor, overcame childhood abuse and grew up in foster care lost the opportunity after it emerged she was middle-class and went to a $30,000-a-year private school.

www.standard.co.uk

Or maybe her own room is so strewn with steamed clothes, she’s in the spare room!

I screenshot that story yday thinking to share it - gave me huge Jackie vibes!

 

[ecdb]

TREATMENT FOR NEW CHARITY AD

*Sombre piano music*

Grave voiceover:

"Cooking in a functional kitchen is something most of us take for granted. But did you know there are people in the UK right now who don't have a draining board on the right side of the sink?

This is Jack."

*Fade to closeup of Jack's sad little face as she forlornly holds a miniature cardboard sink up to the camera*

Voiceover cont'd:

"Jack works 28 hours a day and hasn't been on holiday since before she was born. This month, she's only bought three pairs of pleather trousers and a ninth Cotswold Co sideboard because the stress of having an incorrect kitchen configuration has made her forget her John Lewis password and she can't buy the other essentials she needs."

*Greyscale montage of Jack washing a filthy antique spoon, mistakenly putting it to drain on the wrong side of the sink, howling in anguish, dropping to the floor, clawing at the lino and silently pulling the radiator from the wall*

Voiceover cont'd:

"It's appalling that Jack has to live like this. But it doesn't have to be this way. For just £99 a month, you can help people like Jack get the kitchen they deserve."

*Small print on screen at this point reads "Actually, just Jack."*

*Music changes to an upbeat, jazzy tune*

*Full-colour, sunlit shots of Jack happily placing washed crockery in her new sentient draining board - NOW ON THE RIGHT SIDE - and charging one of her seventeen phones in it at the same time, applying ridiculous eyeshadow in its gleaming reflection, etc*

"Please give today by calling 0901 149 0600 or by visiting the website onscreen.

Together, we can help stop kitchen nightmares.

Thankyou."

*End on Jack's gurning face*

FTFY (too short)

 

[Vanelope]

Last two kitchens have been right to left, so is mum’s, first flat left to right as was Grandma’s. I’m a lefty but I don’t think I mind which way it is. Best bit was getting first dishwasher.

 

[Pavlova]

She's not much more than a pundit at best.

I was thinking more along the lines of Gobshite....

 

[Captainmouse]

Well, bugger me. A shiny spoon.

Don’t worry, it won’t last

 

[Lanie]

She's a bit pub obsessed is that good for her treatment?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

You cheeky little Candyman!

I constantly feel like I'm being told off by your avatar. Should I sit on the naughty step?

 

[ecdb]

They do say this - it’s not a law but it’s a rule of thumb to recoup any of the costs of buying, also it does raise questions why you’re leaving so soon but considering the last 2 years it’s happening more often. Also they generally say any cash you invest in anything should be held 5+ years to ride out any market perturbations lol.

I couldn’t believe she didn’t own either, but after 2 years of witnessing her excessive consumption can fully believe it!

I bought my first house at 22 (>20yrs ago) and since then have bought/sold a few times. Didn’t know this, and always assumed you couldn’t/shouldn’t really sell in the first few years simply because of fixed term mortgage rates.
My point being that if you sell within your fixed term 2/3/5 years in my experience then the bank will give you financial penalties.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Draining board to the right. Makes no sense to have it to the left. Can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Jack