Jack Monroe #238 Honestly, they're like two stupid pigeons fighting over a discarded doughnut

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
She adds the soy sauce to the water she's boiling the egg in 😂😂 And adds none to the noodles 😂😂😂

 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 50
i genuinely believe jack has no sense of taste due to her enlarged adenoids - it is surely the only explanation ?!

oh yes…if you can’t get yourself to either of the two most well known london ramen chains then you simply have no choice to make this horrid recipe :rolleyes:

edit: i’ve read the recipe. It’s just beef stock with noodles and egg in it?! why am i even surprised
ABBA6FAB-1B9C-4557-B4DE-202BA0E3B90B.jpeg
 
Last edited:
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 39
This is bananas (or should I say it's avocados?). Jack's recipe for 'Thai inspired meatballs' in which the ingredients for the meatballs are onions, garlic (she says in the intro you can leave both of these out), turkey mince and a barely-there pinch of chilli. She mixes these up, forms them into balls, and PUTS THEM IN THE MICROWAVE FOR 4 MINUTES. That's it, that's the recipe.

Why on earth had she given up her oven for Lent?

Not getting even a hint of Thai from those meatballs either.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 31
She adds the soy sauce to the water she's boiling the egg in 😂😂 And adds none to the noodles 😂😂😂

Ffs, buy a pack of cheap noodles with a soup and oil sachet, make up the soup, chuck in your chopped/julienned/ ready packaged veg for a couple of mins in the simmering soup, add the noodles, cook them , put it all in a bowl, add the oil sachet, stir, add your hard boiled egg if you want one at all, 10 minutes max and a damn sight easier.There you go Jack, budget ramen.
ETA - may not be cheaper but def easier.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 39
Soon after, friends and readers started asking me for a ramen recipe. My eyes widened in horror: who was I to try to create the orgasmic utopia of my rainy-day experiences? No way. Not me. Ramen recipes are for Other People, I said. I couldn’t. Wouldn’t know where to begin. I tried to let you all down gently, but still the requests trickled in.
At which point, any sensible person could have directed their dear readers to one of the many chefs who create delicious and easily accessible ramen recipes for the home cook. And yet she didn't.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 42
Just shouted through to Mrs ST that I'm making Thai Meatballs for dinner. Didn't catch a reply as she's up in the loft looking for her suitcase.

Dogs crying now, thanks Jack.
 
Last edited:
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 68
She adds the soy sauce to the water she's boiling the egg in 😂😂 And adds none to the noodles 😂😂😂

I now want to know why the hell it takes three days to make beef stock, and what Whoa duck dressing is.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 33
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

First line "I'm not back", I love it already. #classicjack
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 48
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

So she was sitting at the dinner table, in someone else’s house, with her phone on the table? Your parents obviously didn’t teach you any manners then, Jackie.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 43
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

Blah blah blah. All she had to write is I was at dinner and someone sent a nasty message. I got scared so I caught a taxi home and it affected me badly the next day. Be nice to me, I'm so smol and shy like a woodland pixie.
By Jack Munroe.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 41
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

'... unprompted and apropos of nothing.'
Hahaha!

ETA.. Why mention the new friends are 'in the public eye' and leave it there?
Was she not with precisely the right people to help and talk her through that?
Oh, it must have been the shyness.
 
Last edited:
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 30
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

Incredible. It reads like someone here wrote a parody!
‘I’m shy but I was always the lead in school plays’ was a particular favourite.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 51
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

" In the autumn last year, I was at a dinner with some new friends, a lot of whom are also in the public eye. "

Absolutely bleeping lol.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 52
bleeping LOL

"My doorbell rang again and again, young men with notepads that I glanced at through my window that I can only assume were journalists as various newspapers reported on the incident."

 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 55
Lads, lads I've just found a real gem. God, I don't know where to begin. Owl champagne all the way.

Does she want the Woman's weekly treatment? That first sentence, oh god, the whole thing is 'extraneous' Jack.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 27
Without 🔺️ myself and from what I remember Mortons of Ilkley sell glue and padlocks and gate hinges. They do have a crockery section but it's all flowery knee trays and old people tea sets. Happy to be corrected if they have stepped out of DIY and 1990s household goods but that cutlery is far more likely to have come from a different, expensive artisan shop on The Grove in Ilkley.

Ilkley also has a Booths. FANCY!

*insert who bleeping knows*
Without 🔺️ myself and from what I remember Mortons of Ilkley sell glue and padlocks and gate hinges. They do have a crockery section but it's all flowery knee trays and old people tea sets. Happy to be corrected if they have stepped out of DIY and 1990s household goods but that cutlery is far more likely to have come from a different, expensive artisan shop on The Grove in Ilkley.

Ilkley also has a Booths. FANCY!

*insert who bleeping knows*
Smol pixie was talking at the literature festival about four years ago ish.Same time as Nigel Slaters Veggie books. ( I only associate the two because I contemplated going to his ) Please don't let her know about Booths I can't cope with her version of butter pie or brandishing the puntastic bags for life
 
  • Like
Reactions: 21
Reading through that pity post was painful!

LJC on a bike, you can even tell where she would choose to make her voice go shaky, where she'd stare out like a waif, and of course, where she would sniff and wipe her nose with the back of her hand.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 38
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.