Jack Monroe #219 Why you sob? Russell Hobb

[kachoochoo]

Today has been next level slopdom.

Is it a pisstake or does she actually think what she is producing and posting looks good enough for human consumption?

It feels as though since the SM break, we have had Jack cubed. You don’t need to make up for that missed time hun, that is the point of the break. I know it’s all shits and giggles, but this stuff she is actually producing is going to be published in a month isn’t it?

How?

Why?

(we cry)

I doubt very much anything will be published... it's all on my list innit?

no poverty memoir, no tinned fish or fruit recipes, no #jackshacks will ever make it into print

if I am proved wrong, I will eat a sardine and inexplicable egg combo - with celery

 

[Lanie]

Hasnt it been almost a year since she published anything. Didnt her misery book come out last autumn?

 

[NP]

How long should I cook that one mushroom in the slow cooker though? I need the recipe.

4 days. Serves zero.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Dear Publishers of the world please push this book back until after Christmas. She can’t ruin Christmas two years in a row.
Thank (space) you
A mithering ninny named Shesaidwhat?

ETA: my ? I misspelt my own name

 

[kachoochoo]

Hasnt it been almost a year since she published anything. Didnt her misery book come out last autumn?

misery book is still Coming Soon

last published was

⁹

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I feel there is going to be some tidal wave of slop coming our way- all published in December, just after everyone has done their shopping- say 24/12/21 because we all know Jack never quite makes things on time.

1. Christmas DM pull-out article full of timing and costing errors.

2. Poverty tome full of illegally obtained stories (in my humble opinion).

3.Mrs Beeton handbook featuring fluff.

4. Surprise book - recipes she has discovered since becoming a nutritionist (maybe).

5. New collab “gig of a lifetime” - fry light featuring lots of food cooked in tins. ( note links to SW ).

 

[Lanie]

I feel there is going to be some tidal wave of slop coming our way- all published in December, just after everyone has done their shopping- say 24/12/21 because we all know Jack never quite makes things on time.

1. Christmas DM pull-out article full of timing and costing errors.

2. Poverty tome full of illegally obtained stories (in my humble opinion)

3.Mrs Beeton handbook featuring fluff.

4. Surprise book - recipes she has discovered since becoming a nutritionist (maybe).

5. new collab “gig of a lifetime” - fry light featuring lots of food cooked in tins. ( note links to SW ).

Fingers crossed for a prune collab

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

You've got to hand it to Jack, she manages to out slop herself every time. I'm going to get sympathy runs if I see much more.

 

[JuliaGulia]

Grunkaing, so probably already been said. How small must her tins be if she reckoned she made two? Definitely not a tray bake either. Also, that batter would be runny as the tit it's likely to produce if you're foolish enough to eat it. I'm certainly making noises seeing those pictures, but they're not ones of pleasure!

I've got one of the smaller size enamel tins (Tesco) - I got it to make an individual pie, if that helps you with scale (Like a Hollands pie!). They are very small.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

misery book is still Coming Soon

last published was

View attachment 851179

View attachment 851180⁹

If anyone was having a bad day the last book I’d suggest is a Jack Monroe recipe book coupled up with the inane ramblings of Matt Haig.

 

[Cookiecookie]

I've got one of the smaller size enamel tins (Tesco) - I got it to make an individual pie, if that helps you with scale (Like a Hollands pie!). They are very small.

I'm gutted to have missed the cook-along! Figured they'd be Jack's usual miniscule portion sizes. The squigs are demented

 

[Jelly Bean]

I am fascinated to know if Jack knows how rank her food is eg the prune pie. Or does she actually genuinely believe it is nice?
Either way it is worrying

 

[kachoochoo]

If anyone was having a bad day the last book I’d suggest is a Jack Monroe recipe book coupled up with the inane ramblings of Matt Haig.

tbf, haigy's ramblings have largely been silenced recently by him being outed as a sex pest

(cf his DEAD thread on here)

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

tbf, haigy's ramblings have largely been silenced recently by him being outed as a sex pest

(cf his DEAD thread on here)

Spoiler: OT Matt Haig

Plenty more versions of his crap in me yet kach, I am just waiting for the right time to unleash “frost” (tunnel’s version)

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Dear Publishers of the world please push this book back until after Christmas. She can’t ruin Christmas two years in a row.
Thank (space) you
A mithering ninny named Shesaidwhat?

ETA: my ? I misspelt my own name

I love the idea that your real, official, government name is Shesaidwhat.


Am I right in thinking that books aimed for the Christmas market get realised in October or about that time?

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Am I right in thinking that books aimed for the Christmas market get realised in October or about that time?

Now you mention it when I went into WH Smith’s to ask about Diva mag (never again) I’m sure there was Christmas books out on the shelves there was definitely one about a dinosaur with Santa on the cover.

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

For a special treat, put your prunes in to soak with your tea-pickled eggs #jackshacks

The Jack Shack is a little ol place where fish'n'eggs can slop together

 

[Sideboard Bob]

View attachment 850603
One lone brave squiggle amongst the arse lickers

omg that’s the same squiggle who said…

Spoiler: This is disgusting..

Insomnia is great fun

…about the “Salted caramel pecan butter”

 

[Wooh]

My hardworking, 15 year old kettle asked me to say hi, and is open for chats on how it keeps so clean and shiny while I catch up

 

[Cookiecookie]

I love the idea that your real, official, government name is Shesaidwhat.


Am I right in thinking that books aimed for the Christmas market get realised in October or about that time?

Pretty much. When I worked for Waterstones, there was 'Super Thursday' at some point in October where all the *big* titles were released. I wouldn't imagine too much has changed tbh. It's the time when people start thinking about buying gifts and gives plenty of time for authors/media to hype it, quick reprints if need be etc