Jack Monroe #206 I wouldn’t trust her with a spam fritter

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Sorry to interrupt the creative writing, but another influencer posted this today - I would assume she’s only at the £750 stage fine (and whilst she’s an awful human she 100% deserves it to be wiped she was in a coma for 3 months then in a residential rehab unit for another 3!) and is describing it as bombardment? Surely they’re close to kicking down Jack’s doors isn’t hers £3k now?!

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SlopAmbsase

Active member
Interior; a large spacious house bungalow with period features. It is assumed the resident is well off financially as we see a large Smeg branded fridge, a number of bland but inoffensive large Cotswold Company sideboards and a towering stack of cardboard John Lewis boxes. Are they empty? We can attempt to triangulate the reassuringly expensive but unimaginative contents but a large cats anus obscures the open flaps.

Other clues would suggest the resident is a middle aged person, prone to hoarding and with expensive yet basic Home Counties tastes. However, we see a Burberry leather jacket hung to a claw of a mismatched set of wall knobs. This would suggest a masculine inhabitant, or at least a person attempting a look which may or may not be too butch for them.

There is a space amongst the multiple bookshelves, empty amongst the busy and groaning piles of assorted ephemera. This is labelled, first a hastily scribbled ‘tins for Brexit’ which is crossed out and overwritten with ‘SHE LEFT’.

In the far corner, we have a sliver of a view into an airy and light entrance vestibule. What must surely be an optical illusion seems to portray discarded tiny dishes and saucepans. We cannot see the contents of these; all that protrudes from these vessels is a series of increasingly impractical and grubby cutlery items.

An open door suggests a downstairs cloakroom. The footfall is marked by a noticeable wearing of the carpet to this convenience. What may be dark food stains cling to the eroded carpet fibres. Through the door we see a framed drawing, in the distinctive style of artist Tracy Emin.
 

Vanelope

VIP Member
Sorry to interrupt the creative writing, but another influencer posted this today - I would assume she’s only at the £750 stage fine (and whilst she’s an awful human she 100% deserves it to be wiped she was in a coma for 3 months then in a residential rehab unit for another 3!) and is describing it as bombardment? Surely they’re close to kicking down Jack’s doors isn’t hers £3k now?!

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Have you told them that in anything other than a tweet? The computer will send emails letters (they are in the stone age) until it has had a reasonable excuse inputted. I would argue that coma and rehab counts, but you need to inform them in writing to appeal the fines, not just flap on Twitter and expect HMRC to know what you have been doing. Make too much of a fuss they might start to check your ad revenue?!? Or are you a ‘good’ influencer? Grace?

ETA for letters - HMRC v rarely do email and only once you have agreed to correspond that way. Beware phishers!
 
Have you told them that in anything other than a tweet? The computer will send emails letters (they are in the stone age) until it has had a reasonable excuse inputted. I would argue that coma and rehab counts, but you need to inform them in writing to appeal the fines, not just flap on Twitter and expect HMRC to know what you have been doing. Make too much of a fuss they might start to check your ad revenue?!? Or are you a ‘good’ influencer? Grace?

ETA for letters - HMRC v rarely do email and only once you have agreed to correspond that way. Beware phishers!
Oh she’s 100% attention seeking and the only engagement she gets is around coma stuff hence this carry on. I would assume they’d back down on that fine as soon as the evidence was submitted and not tweet anything until then? She’s moaning when she just needs to do a bit of admin? I’m absolutely horrified at Jack’s tho, we’re only a week and a bit away from accounting solstice in next year’s are as due as this year’s are overdue!
 
Can you imagine Jack writing her own image descriptions? They'd be interminable.

I, Jack Monroe, writer, author, writer, campaigner, former single mother on benefits, one-time food bank user, cook, famously non-binary, quasi-religious, accidental conqueror of my own fears, undiscovered singing talent, television presenter taking time off, inventor of #thunderclapforcarers, saviour of political prisoners stand in the kitchen of my shitty bungalow (which is RENTED) leaning up against a wooden worktop in a completely relaxed and not uncomfortable looking position. I, Jack Monroe, am wearing an outfit consisting of an impeccable but stained navy blue cable knit sweater with a blue formal shirt buttoned up to the neck underneath. I, Jack Monroe, am also wearing a light wash denim jacket with faux sheepskin collar and a pair of stone-coloured jeans. I, Jack Monroe, have completed my masculine aesthetic with a pair of very clean and stylish trainers. I, Jack Monroe, stare confidently into the lens as I (Jack Monroe) am finally feeling happy and content and like my true self after months of misery and suffering.
 

Dogmuck

VIP Member
Sorry to interrupt the creative writing, but another influencer posted this today - I would assume she’s only at the £750 stage fine (and whilst she’s an awful human she 100% deserves it to be wiped she was in a coma for 3 months then in a residential rehab unit for another 3!) and is describing it as bombardment? Surely they’re close to kicking down Jack’s doors isn’t hers £3k now?!

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🙄 honestly hun if you were PAYE or did your accounts on fucking time, this wouldn’t be a problem. You generally have 9 months to submit your accounts to HMRC if you’re operating through a company if your doing it through a personal tax return then you do it in January and you pay your tax then...it’s Fuxking September, have you been in a coma for 9 months😏

Jesus, these people who moan about this shit like, can’t understand why I got a speeding ticket I was only doing 45 in a 30 mile zone, get to Fuck! You decide you want to be self employed or have a company which allows you to “take advantage” of that situation then you need to learn the law on tax or pay someone to do your accounts! Are you listening Jackie? Pay your way you scheming Fuck. Grrrr 😡
 

Emmapism

VIP Member
To be fair to Grace (even though I find her problematic) she wasn't out of the hospital until the start of this year and her and her partner had a new baby to deal with. Neither of them seem like they have their heads screwed on so this probably wouldn't have occurred to them.

Like most influencers, she's irresponsible and dim.

Hopefully she has someone sensible in her corner to advise her to write to HMRC though, or this will only get worse.
 

Dogmuck

VIP Member
To be fair to Grace (even though I find her problematic) she wasn't out of the hospital until the start of this year and her and her partner had a new baby to deal with. Neither of them seem like they have their heads screwed on so this probably wouldn't have occurred to them.

Like most influencers, she's irresponsible and dim.

Hopefully she has someone sensible in her corner to advise her to write to HMRC though, or this will only get worse.
I have no idea who this person is tbh so may have been harsh, but like was said above, HMRC would consider this a reason for not having your accounts done if you explained it to them. I don’t know when she was in a coma but also I know that when you run a company or are self employed you need to be on the ball and have a plan b in case of emergencies. You don’t just tweet about it, when you’re clearly up and running again, in an attempt to shame them, you deal with them and deal with the outstanding issues ASAP or employ someone to. It’s like paying your mortgage, you can’t just ignore it and hope everyone is gonna have pity forever because you were ill at some stage.
 

Lanie

VIP Member
Oh she’s 100% attention seeking and the only engagement she gets is around coma stuff hence this carry on. I would assume they’d back down on that fine as soon as the evidence was submitted and not tweet anything until then? She’s moaning when she just needs to do a bit of admin? I’m absolutely horrified at Jack’s tho, we’re only a week and a bit away from accounting solstice in next year’s are as due as this year’s are overdue!
Why do these people not pay their taxes. These are the first people to moan that theres not enough money to help those in need, yet if they pay what they owed there would be more money in the pot. Im sorry she was ill but shes seems ok now so perhaps pay your taxes.
 

Switchstreetz

VIP Member
Can you imagine Jack writing her own image descriptions? They'd be interminable.

I, Jack Monroe, writer, author, writer, campaigner, former single mother on benefits, one-time food bank user, cook, famously non-binary, quasi-religious, accidental conqueror of my own fears, undiscovered singing talent, television presenter taking time off, inventor of #thunderclapforcarers, saviour of political prisoners stand in the kitchen of my shitty bungalow (which is RENTED) leaning up against a wooden worktop in a completely relaxed and not uncomfortable looking position. I, Jack Monroe, am wearing an outfit consisting of an impeccable but stained navy blue cable knit sweater with a blue formal shirt buttoned up to the neck underneath. I, Jack Monroe, am also wearing a light wash denim jacket with faux sheepskin collar and a pair of stone-coloured jeans. I, Jack Monroe, have completed my masculine aesthetic with a pair of very clean and stylish trainers. I, Jack Monroe, stare confidently into the lens as I (Jack Monroe) am finally feeling happy and content and like my true self after months of misery and suffering.
The impersonation was so good that I can't even read it, after the first sentence my eyes just kept jumping to the next "I, Jack Monroe" until I was safely at the end 😄
 

Django

Active member
Photograph of a well known campaigner, fighter for the poor, champion of the left and well known TV personality, two images of said well known and very important person at the Guardian circa 2016 standing back to back. One is wearing a red frock and lots of make up, her hair is stuck up in a budgie quiff. The person on the right is wearing a suit and wears a lot of make up but her hair is slicked back in a masculine anesthetic. This represents non binary parlance about 90 years ago.
 
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