Jack Monroe #201 Queen of Sharts

[HotesTilaire]

Who’s the LGBTQ+ Person lined up for this years strictly then SHAN’T rest until I know it’s NOT the only cookery writer to live tweet their own food making a speedy exit out the back

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Saving the best to last then!

I would be totally giddy if she was on it. In the VT she’d try hard to be the toughie she is on SM but Craig RH would just look at her and she’d be clawing at the floor.

I’ve managed to source the audition tape she sent them though:

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Sadly I don't think Jack allowed to participate in Strictly, she's a professionally trained ballet dancer which disqualifies her.

Dare to dream though!

PS thanknospaceyou Traumi S for my new avatar

 

[Emmapism]

I think I would watch it just for the judges critiques.

I'd be sitting there like one of those battery operated monkey toys with the cymbals, clapping away.

 

[HotesTilaire]

We could gather together and watch every Saturday night, for one or two weeks until the inevitable being voted off happens.

 

[Marj24]

Jack may well have been offered celeb Big Brother around the time of the Katie Hopkins case. She is far too obscure to ever be offered Strictly. Also BBC have a long memory, rembember DKL and her confrontational tweeting to people who had used the DKL hashtag, but not tagged her in. She is bad news and they know it, much as I would find watching her crash and burn entertaining.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Three Strictly contestants have been announced so far and she ain’t one of them! Another one being announced on Radio 2 breakfast tomorrow.

I can’t totally rule her out (because I don’t want to). Sometimes they reveal the big names first so it looks like a stellar line up and sometimes they save the best til last. If the best have been revealed so far, I reckon she’s in with a shout!

Fear not, dear heart! Big names are pulling out of IACGMOOH faster than a woman on 2 wheels cycling out of Southend. They'll be scraping the (very) bottom of the barrel soon enough...

-unless raw pasta really is a dealbreaker at ITV.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Did she get onto strictly?

Remember when our lovely insider told us she asked them

I must admit I was secretly praying the reveal would include Jack just for the Cabal commentary.
Sadly due to her well just being her I don’t think the Beeb would touch her with a barge pole.

 

[Toffee finger]

Farewell kumquats!

I think I would watch it just for the judges critiques.

I'd be sitting there like one of those battery operated monkey toys with the cymbals, clapping away.

Could you imagine her responses to their criticism?! Howling and clawing at the floor shouting “but I’m pooooor and SHE LEFT”

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Farewell kumquats!



Could you imagine her responses to their criticism?! Howling and clawing at the floor shouting “but I’m pooooor and SHE LEFT”

She would also, of course, make a grand announcement about donating her fee to charity and then...never, ever mention it again

 

[Emmapism]

Are the contestants banned from tweeting during Strictly? That would be a deal breaker for her I reckon. Her head would explode if thousands of people were talking about her and she couldn't say anything

 

[Orphan_Black]

Fear not, dear heart! Big names are pulling out of IACGMOOH faster than a woman on 2 wheels cycling out of Southend. They'll be scraping the (very) bottom of the barrel soon enough...

-unless raw pasta really is a dealbreaker at ITV.

Oh my gosh I could totally see Jack signing up for the jungle-castle!!! They'd declare themselves camp chef and duck up the rice and beans, the fact they're not in can,. needing a rinse, will confuse the hell out of Jack! Jack would show Gillian McKeith levels of shenanigans to get out of tasks and/or evoke sympathy.

And the telephone box question! Jack will claim they know the answer, sorted mate, stops the camp getting treats. Chaos ensues.

ITV; MAKE IT SO!!!

 

[Pocahontas]

Three Strictly contestants have been announced so far and she ain’t one of them! Another one being announced on Radio 2 breakfast tomorrow.

I can’t totally rule her out (because I don’t want to). Sometimes they reveal the big names first so it looks like a stellar line up and sometimes they save the best til last. If the best have been revealed so far, I reckon she’s in with a shout!

I love how the possibility of Jack going on Strictly is like your granola.
#hopefulLenny

 

[Hollaaa]

Are the contestants banned from tweeting during Strictly? That would be a deal breaker for her I reckon. Her head would explode if thousands of people were talking about her and she couldn't say anything

(Am deliberately being meta because it's Wednesday, and why not?)

 

[traumatised sideboard]

PLEASE somebody put Jack in Strictly. She's probably about to pop up on Twitter saying they asked her this year but she had to say no due to her deliberately vague intensive treatment, horribly severely arthritic joints and fragile ego. Not to mention we're still waiting for the dance number in six inch heels with Marcus that's somewhere on the cutting room floor at GQ.

Thanks for adding the link in the recap post Poca, I thought it would be a bit gauche darlings to poke with a single hooked finger my own synthesised horn sound. Can I also just say that @Lanie has unparalleled avatar selections (although I am still haunted by the moulded ring of beans one).

 

[HotesTilaire]

Are the contestants banned from tweeting during Strictly? That would be a deal breaker for her I reckon. Her head would explode if thousands of people were talking about her and she couldn't say anything

Probably been practicing these last few months....

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Farewell kumquats!



Could you imagine her responses to their criticism?! Howling and clawing at the floor shouting “but I’m pooooor and SHE LEFT”

Jack would never make it to Movie Week. Which is a crying shame with that practically perfect outfit languishing at the back of the wardrobe. Surely her very own, long lost Bert would be BACK to sweep out her 'chim chim cheroo' gor blimey?

 

[NomDeGuerre]

If Jack is on Strictly, her first dance simply must be a hesitant, faltering Waltz to her tremulous cover of Landslide.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Oh my gosh I could totally see Jack signing up for the jungle-castle!!! They'd declare themselves camp chef and duck up the rice and beans, the fact they're not in can,. needing a rinse, will confuse the hell out of Jack! Jack would show Gillian McKeith levels of shenanigans to get out of tasks and/or evoke sympathy.

And the telephone box question! Jack will claim they know the answer, sorted mate, stops the camp getting treats. Chaos ensues.

ITV; MAKE IT SO!!!

can you be 90% vegan in the jungle?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

If IACGMOOH (Eye-Ack-Gamoo in celeb parlance) was the Aussie one she'd fit right in. The 'celebs' we get often have to introduce themselves to one another because nobody knows who they are. We had Charlotte Crosby one year, most of the country was like ''Who dat?'' I only knew of her as I'm an avid reader of trash-mags. BRB, just off to ping an email to Channel 10 with my suggestion.