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Alansbigplate

VIP Member
Another sloup made with dust
Another sloup made with dust
And another crouton and another crouton
Another sloup made with dust
Hey! I'm gonna get two sloups
Another sloup made with dust
 
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MancBee

VIP Member
I've had my hair cut today.
Did I go to T&G? No
Did I have an "Artistic Director"? No
Did I pay a fortune? No

Do I look an twat? No!
 
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MooBelle

VIP Member
I feel sad thinking about Jack sitting at her dining table with her son and Louisa, all studiously drinking their Christmas dinner while struggling to think of compliments to stop her howling and clawing about how she prepared a meal despite her longest COVID and nobody appreciated it.
Oh bless you for thinking she actually ate that disgusting Christmas Dinner.
It would have been scraped in the bin once the photos were taken, like the majority of her slop is.
She would then have either gone to her parents or eaten her Ocado/Waitrose Dinner.
SB was fine. Dinner is at home with his Dad and siblings.
 
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FlowerOfTheEast

VIP Member
🥳 Happy thread 200 to the best bunch of ninnies on the internet! I can't afford to go to a hairdresser because I RENT so I drew my wig on with my hand-sausages. Loving all our new 'dos!
 
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onlysunshine

Well-known member
Happy 200# thread to everyone of you beautiful ninnies 💞. Who's baking our celebration cake ? I would offer but I don't have any butter in would dog hair be a good substitute ?
Jack and the Cabal haven't been in my vagina so I can't on principle, sorry
 
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Thank you so @ChickenPorridge much, @ChickenPorridge for finding it. His first name is spelt that way because it's a portmanteau with Jack's favourite childhood corner shop treat, the Marathon bar. Do you remember when Snickers was called a Marathon? Penny sweets, Opal Fruits, bright blue Panda Pops, packet of cigs for a couple of quid etc.
 
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DinosaurSenior

VIP Member
I've been looking at a few different threads tonight, and I love it when I see "one of us" commenting on something with the inexplicable Kumquat barnets.
 
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LennyBriscoe

VIP Member
It’s so weird she portrays things like anyone in recovery is absolutely gagging for a bit of neat almond oil and a red wine reduction…. That’s literally just a you problem pls stop writing so extensively about it 😷

Happy thread 200, remember when she threatened us with court action? 🥰 Tbh would still be nice to get out the house and attend, it’s been a long old pandemic hasn’t it x
You’re on the money again lovely. Alcoholism is complicated enough without going down that road.

Ah the memories of planning court outfits! Classic Jack and her 100% success rate in Court 😂
 
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Deej

Active member
Apparently she didn’t tweet for 48 hours once, and someone reported her as missing to the police! Yeah, ok.
 
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Hollaaa

VIP Member
Impossible to commit to 2x15 hour force service Call Handler shifts with a newborn (wot no maternity leave?)
This is the bit that stumps me, people not doing their sums properly before they make decisions about maternity leave.
If you've been in post more than a year, a year of mat leave in the public sector breaks down to about half pay, provided you average it across the year and don't spend every penny as soon as it hits your bank account. It works out as slightly more than 50% if you take 9-10 months ML and use the annual leave you accrued to be paid full wage for 6-10 weeks at the end of your period of leave, depending on where you're up to in the annual leave year.
I had (data analyst 🤨) colleagues (with parents providing free full time childcare) pulling a face saying I was lucky to be able to take the full year because they couldn't afford to take more than 9 months because their SMP finished at that time and they wouldn't have any money coming in, pure Jack maths. It was more cost effective for me to take full mat leave plus 2 years' worth of annual leave on full pay than go back to work any earlier and pay more than half of my take home salary out on childcare - which cost me £10k ish a year for 4 years and cost them literal zip. Yeah, lucky me in that scenario, I guess?
I'm not still salty over it but can't believe how many 'educated' people can't do basic financial planning and make life-changing decisions like quitting their job based on pre-conceived ideas, incorrect assumptions and an inability to divide a number by a figure of 12 or less.
JACK MATHS.
 
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Hollaaa

VIP Member
Noooooooooooo 🥺
Should we keep them?
I'm torn between thinking:
a) they're the best thing ever and should stay
b) they won't be as fun if we wear them for every thread
c) it's like a secret handshake to cabalistas on other threads
and
d) fuck off x
 
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onlysunshine

Well-known member
On a grunk and OMG, the hair styles!! 26 pages already! Has she produced original content again?
And I am feeling like a dickhead of all dickheads having even stated in the previous thread that one can indeed freeze glass jars. I feared that my cabal membership might have been cancelled in my absence.
Now let me find out what she has done in the meantime. Slooooooop right now, thank you very much.
Slop right now, thank you very much
I need somebody with a vegan touch
Hey Jack, always on the run,
Gotta slop it up baby, can't have no solids
 
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kachoochoo

VIP Member
I can't even remember what we had for xmas dinner last year, but I remember Jack's Express pullout atrocities vividly 🥴
 
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Alansbigplate

VIP Member
Jude!
I’m gonna take you to see Redcar!
I’m gonna take you to see Redcar!
I’m gonna take you to see Redcar!
Redcar! Redcar!
 
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Switchstreetz

VIP Member
Morning cabal, had the most horrifying dream that me and another tattler were out with their baby when we bumped into Jack. She was being really passive aggressive and drawing on the walls of the shop, when she twigged we were fraus she stole my trainers for her collection and ran scampered off (unrealistic I know, tragically my trainers are just normal affordable ones not hideous triple figure monstrosities 😂)

Yeah, the ‘four foot love of my life with holiday hair’ is just a massive smartphone with one of our orange wigs on top.
Maybe it's a mannequin of nigella, she feeds it fishy eggs and dresses it up in wigs.
 
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Marj24

VIP Member
When was this? This is really vile.
I am happy to be corrected if my recall is wrong but I think this is a completely over the top response to an innocent squiggle asking if SB was with her in Edinburgh
 
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