Jack Monroe #199 Just mind-bogglingly, gobsmackingly stupid

[FrumpyCat]

Oh my days. I may be some time, as I try to turn myself back from the inside-out I’ve just cringed myself into.

Of particular note is the chastisement of the host, who hands over her copy of Cack’s book with a self-deprecating comment about ignoring the corners she’s turned down, only to be shamed in front of the room cos, in Cack’s opinion, “There’s not very many of them”. Jee-zuz, the arrogance.

I think that was Jack's attempt at bantz. It usually falls flat.

Multi-layered as ever. Countering the distant parent narrative, playing up her Earth Mother Twitter profile, but as others have said, most importantly, sending out an unsolicited tag to Nigella in the hope she will respond in any way possible. Yes, a recipe with lashings of Amaretto liqueur is simply the perfect and obvious first choice for an 11 year-old boy and a recovering alcoholic. I guess she could always substitute the Amaretto with cold black tea.


View attachment 680270

But won't she substitute the alcohol for tea from the slow cooker?

 

[Squandaaaaa]

Not being funny but nuts are really bleeping expensive. Even if Jack DEMEANED herself to go to Lidl for them (I love Lidl btw) how can she be still on her “I can’t afford the bus to a cheaper supermarket” bullshit while happily smashing the old 70% valrhona, amaretti from the deli and those pricy little fat bombs into a melty turd?

Obv she’s loaded and can, of course, afford all of it. Just don’t understand how she’s so thick that she can’t make her miraculous changes in fortune a little less whiplash-inducing.

Part of me want to cost to to work it out but at a rough guess excluding amaretto it would probably be around £15 for the ingredients

 

[bladiesla]

View attachment 680251

Is this to show the boy is with her? A hello to us!

She's trying so so hard. My 11 year old nephews have more exciting things in their life than cooking (mostly sports and friends). I would be thrilled for a child to be into cooking at that age, but many just aren't and that's fine (at 11 I didn;t care for cooking or baking whatsoever and my mum never made me). She just can't help using that boy as a prop in her domestic goddess fantasy.

 

[Lanie]

View attachment 680251

Is this to show the boy is with her? A hello to us!

Does this sound like a parent who has been away for weeks and is really trying"hard" to make up for lost time? Not take him to the park, zoo or Something lets do something i want to do?!

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Imagine being SB and it’s your summer holidays. The weather is glorious, you live right next to a fantastic beach, have a massive garden, and your mum has plenty of money and a job which allows her to be extremely available to you.

And she thinks that doing jigsaws and cooking are legitimate ways to entertain her kid. Even her performative motherhood is tit.

 

[Lanie]

My 8 year old loved cooking but he definately doesnt fizz or hoot about it, he just says mum can i make.... and if i have it in / can get to the shop we make it.

Also isnt amaretto alcohol?

 

[Traazers]

My 8 year old loved cooking but he definately doesnt fizz or hoot about it, he just says mum can i make.... and if i have it in / can get to the shop we make it.

Also isnt amaretto alcohol?

Oh dear, Lanie is doing a chaos

 

[Lanie]

Oh dear, Lanie is doing a chaos

She inspired me.

 

[Suffolkmum]

.




[/QUOTE]

She bound to have had spaghetti , my mum was a very staunch meat and potato cook, but even i had spaghetti.

My mother in law (who couldn’t cook) discovered pasta in the late 70s. She thought her dreams had come true, as she said “you just boil it and put sauce on top and that’s it”. Reading some of Jacks recipes I think they might have been related.

 

[Squandaaaaa]

I worked it out…. £20.53 this was using the cheapest I could find at Morrison’s as I could not be bothered to sign up for an Asda account.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I worked it out…. £20.53 this was using the cheapest I could find at Morrison’s as I could not be bothered to sign up for an Asda account. View attachment 680334

Consider my gob smacked. That's outrageous.

 

[Lanie]

Consider my gob smacked. That's outrageous.

Mcdonalds meals and a trip to the beach?!
About 7 quid and free. Doesn't compare does it.

 

[MancBee]

I have looked at the recipe, it takes 30 minutes to prepare (minimum. An 11 year old, substantially longer). Then at least 6 hours to chill (preferably over night) and then a long and cumbersome knotting of string along it's length which would take me ages, let alone an 11 year old. So they are making something he can't eat until sometime tomorrow and that he will get frustrated with because the string knotting is too difficult. That is assuming she has all the specialist and expensive ingredients in the cupboard from her £20 weekly shop.

Would it not have been easier, quicker and simpler to make chocolate rice crispy cakes, there's even a Nigella recipe for them. You can eat them same day.

Ohhhhhh I was forgetting, she gives her son agency (ugh) to make his own decisions. And he decided to make an expensive alcoholic chocolate dessert. Where's that appropriate giphy...found it

 

[Veronicaaa]

It's also a really bizarre recipe to be thrilled about him choosing because presumably she doesn't have all that stuff in her cupboards, and it would necessitate a trip to the shops / Ocado delivery? Anyhoo I'm putting too much thought into it because obviously

 

[Geetbo]

duck me she is in absolute auto-chaos mode now isn't she?

I think we're about 2 days away from a picture of her saggy gusset.

 

[Django]

I have looked at the recipe, it takes 30 minutes to prepare (minimum. An 11 year old, substantially longer). Then at least 6 hours to chill (preferably over night) and then a long and cumbersome knotting of string along it's length which would take me ages, let alone an 11 year old. So they are making something he can't eat until sometime tomorrow and that he will get frustrated with because the string knotting is too difficult. That is assuming she has all the specialist and expensive ingredients in the cupboard from her £20 weekly shop.

Would it not have been easier, quicker and simpler to make chocolate rice crispy cakes, there's even a Nigella recipe for them. You can eat them same day.

Ohhhhhh I was forgetting, she gives her son agency (ugh) to make his own decisions. And he decided to make an expensive alcoholic chocolate dessert. Where's that appropriate giphy...found it

Never has a thread title been more appropriate (unless it was She's Lying from the not so distant past).

 

[Captainmouse]

It's Nigella's Chocolate Salame, you twonk.

Chocolate salami probably sounds perfectly normal to her mullered slop tastebuds

 

[Lanie]

I have looked at the recipe, it takes 30 minutes to prepare, then at least 6 hours to chill (preferably over night) and then a long and cumbersome knotting of string along it's length which would take me ages, let alone an 11 year old. So they are making something he can't eat until sometime tomorrow. That is assuming she has all the specialist and expensive ingredients in the cupboard from her £20 weekly shop.

Would it not have been easier, quicker and simpler to make chocolate rice crispy cakes, there's even Nigella recipe for them. You can eat them same day.

Ohhhhhh I was forgetting, she gives her son agency (ugh) to make his own decisions. And he decided to make an expensive alcoholic chocolate dessert. Where's that appropriate giph...found it

If the rehab stuff she was dropping is true its completely tone deaf that she is cooking with booze mere weeks after seeking help.

Am i being really obtuse?

 

[Veronicaaa]

Am i being really obtuse?

No. Jack is, though.

 

[CocoCottesmore]

I'm just a couple of years older than Jack and I didn't have pasta until I was 18 or 19. That's mostly because I'm the pickiest eater on the planet but it's partly because my mum eats like WWII is still going on because her parents ate like that, all plain meat and over-boiled veg and nothing exotic and foreign like pasta. To this day, my mum still refuses to try rice.

Me too I'm afraid. I'm 45 and didn't have pasta until I was about 13 or 14. I was probably a bit of a nightmare because I became vegetarian in a staunchly meat and two veg lower middle class household.