Jack Monroe #198 Marcus! Marcus! Marcus!

[Kelpie]

That's it. I am dead. The cabal has made me die laughing

 

[MancBee]

I just had a recap and what a way to start the day, I have been laughing out loud. I defy anyone to read the past 6 or 7 pages and not raise at least a smile. I can imagine the Judge singing along with the cabal.

I wonder does Jack appreciate the creativity? After all, it is her that provides the inspiration. I can imagine she loves being a muse for our art.

Though to be fair, Jack's 10 days Twitter silence has proved we are now self sustaining. Whilst we appreciate her input, there's enough back catalogue to power these threads come what may...Now "come what may" isn't that a tune from "Moulin Rouge"?

 

[Flash123]

At 2mins 32seconds THAT MAN does a Jollof rice all over again!

 

[Lanie]

At 2mins 32seconds THAT MAN does a Jollof rice all over again!

How relaxed is he. No youre stressing me mate and all the food is cooked lovely and he even washed his hands in the garden.

 

[Captainmouse]

How relaxed is he. No youre stressing me mate and all the food is cooked lovely and he even washed his hands in the garden.

Maybe he’s done it before?

 

[Lanie]

Maybe he’s done it before?

Yeah hes a complete amateur. Hes far too at ease with his cooking and every bit of it a texture. What a rookie

 

[FlashBoof]

tit fire - is Jamie lurking? “Just gonna wash my hands”

“PLENTY of black pepper!”

I know he is too busy with his several jobs and many offspring but I would LOVE it if he dropped out a bit of cabal know how. It would, quite literally, be chefs kiss.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Did Jack even bother to have a way to wash their hands in the slop shed?

It really is just so bizarre to waste their time setting up that mess, rather than just cook in the kitchen.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Jack was the Kombucha starter, but now we are the full Scooby, going it alone. Or something.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Did Jack even bother to have a way to wash their hands in the slop shed?

It really is just so bizarre to waste their time setting up that mess, rather than just cook in the kitchen.

She washes her hands when she washes her hair. Oh, wait..

 

[Mr Krabs]

Did Jack even bother to have a way to wash their hands in the slop shed?

It really is just so bizarre to waste their time setting up that mess, rather than just cook in the kitchen.

I don't think I was a cabal member during the shed chaos, so I don't know the specifics, but what on Earth makes you look at a grotty old shed and want to turn it into a kitchen? My shed smells like paint and varnish and is full of spiders. I've never once thought "I gotta get a camping stove and start cooking up in this witch."

And no, she wouldn't have had running water. Unless she's suddenly also an expert plumber (she does have a tool belt I guess). I wonder if she realised the absurdity of the shed situation as she schlepped buckets of water from the bungalow's actual kitchen, past the semi-circle of chairs, to her shitshed.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Why are these people given any platform - they are unbearable. Also - I wonder how her desire for privacy - even through the FSM milking, gels with the huge demand for public id and real names on social media? Especially as she does complain about being trolled herself!

It’s interesting and tbh considering how important* Twitter is in political discourse key commentators should be “real named” profiles else what’s stopping Shell or BP creating a RSM for climate activism? There needs to be transparency around *who* these people are too, like I know I go on about it every thread but the fact Jack is cosplaying as some sort of WC good smart poor feeding families for £20 a week all the while coming from an incredibly financially comfortable family with a LANDLORD DAD whilst cashing in big brand sponsorships is truly abhorrent. In the same way MPs need to declare their interests, you know who is writing your newspapers, etc blue tickers on Twitter should be held to the same account as they are at the very least creating conversations and convincing people of ideas. It really matters what their vested interests are, who pays them, and what their origins story really is because half of the Twitter set are lying about it.

*tbh, to a small bubble of already left people or pathetically centrist, most the country dgaf about it

 

[Lanie]

I don't think I was a cabal member during the shed chaos, so I don't know the specifics, but what on Earth makes you look at a grotty old shed and want to turn it into a kitchen? My shed smells like paint and varnish and is full of spiders. I've never once thought "I gotta get a camping stove and start cooking up in this witch."

And no, she wouldn't have had running water. Unless she's suddenly also an expert plumber (she does have a tool belt I guess). I wonder if she realised the absurdity of the shed situation as she schlepped buckets of water from the bungalow's actual kitchen, past the semi-circle of chairs, to her shitshed.

I think the shed was probably a tantrum due to bubble buddy and kid moaning about the kitchen being out of order during lockdown larder and co and she threw a wobbler and was like "i am an artiste i deserve my own studio where i can work on my slop slinging without constant interruptions" hence the shed of fire was born.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Not much editing required here.

[sung] In this life, one thing counts
In the bank, large amounts
I'm afraid these don't grow on trees,
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two

You've got to grift-a-pocket or two, Coops,
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.

[Brambly Mice Choir]
Large amounts don't grow on trees.
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.


Let's show the Cabal how it's done, shall we, my dears?

[sung] Why should I break my back
Stupidly paying tax?
Better get some undeclared income
Better to grift-a-pocket or two.

You've got to grift-a-pocket or two, Dash
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.

[Terry the Sparrow and the Hose Eating Fox]
Why should we all break our backs?
Better grift-a-pocket or two.


Who says poverty doesn't pay?

[sung] Robin Hood, what a crook!
Gave away, what he took.
Charity's fine, subscribe to mine.
Get out and grift-a-pocket or two

You've got to grift-a-pocket or two, Lou
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.

[Sentient Livers and Mirror Ensemble]
Robin Hood was far too good
He had to grift-a-pocket or two.


Take a tip from the jar
Tell about your selling a car.
I recall, I Facetuned Smol
And had to grift-a-pocket or two.

You've got to grift-a-pocket or two, boy
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.

[Animated Emin Sketch]
You can take from the tip jar
If you grift-a-pocket or two.

[Jack (spoken)]
Marcus! Marcus!

See when I am passing by
Urban Decay on my eye
Everything's clear, Mediterranean rear
Get in and grift-a-pocket or two.

You've got to grift-a-pocket or two, Mom
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.

[The Sad Clams in her pocket]
Have no fear with a Mediterranean rear
Get in and grift-a-pocket or two.

When I see someone rich,
Both my thumbs start to itch
Only to find some peace of mind
We have to grift-a-pocket or two.

You've got to grift-a-pocket or two, Risch
You've got to grift-a-pocket or two.

[The Tory Front Bench stands up in Parliament]
Just to find some peace of mind

[Everybody]
We have to grift-a-pocket or two!











Oh! Poca! Any chance of a late entry to the THREAD TITLE category?


JM #199: Once More With Feeling




Pleeeeeeeaaaasssseee?

 

[Captainmouse]

I think the shed was probably a tantrum due to bubble buddy and kid moaning about the kitchen being out of order during lockdown larder and co and she threw a wobbler and was like "i am an artiste i deserve my own studio where i can work on my slop slinging without constant interruptions" hence the shed of fire was born.

Oh I just thought it was due to THAT MAN. doing his show from his shed?

 

[Flash123]

II hope someone replies with Musical Theatre!

 

[Veronicaaa]

LMAO

 

[NomDeGuerre]

The po-faced grandstanding in the comments

 

[Veronicaaa]

Twitter is about 10,000 times more annoying when she's on it, she really draws the pricks out.

The po-faced grandstanding in the comments

 

[Flash123]

Positivity Jack really grates on me